Only Fools and Horses S00E04 — Thicker than Water

Every line from “Thicker than Water” (654 quotes). Click one to open the meme editor on the exact frame, ready to caption and share.

00:03♫ Stick a pony in me pocket
00:06♫ I'll fetch the suitcase from the van
00:10♫ 'Cause if you want the best of us
00:12♫ But you don't ask questions
00:14♫ Then brother, I'm your man
00:18♫ 'Cause where it all comes from is a mystery
00:21♫ It's like the changing of the seasons
00:23♫ And the tides of the sea
00:25♫ But here's the one that's driving me berserk
00:29♫ Why do only fools and horses work
00:32♫ La, la, la, la
00:34♫ La, la, la, la, la
00:36♫ La, la, la, la
00:38♫ La, la, la, la, la
00:42- Thanks ever so much.
00:43You got me out of a very awkward situation.
00:46- Oh, don't mention it.
00:47- First time I saw this film was in the middle of the war.
00:50I remember halfway through it there was an air raid.
00:53We all had to run for the shelter.
00:55- Yeah?
00:56Bet you all hated the Kaiser that night, eh?
01:00- What's the matter with you, you moaning little git?
01:03- What's the matter with?
01:04I tell ya, Grandaddy, it's Christmas night,
01:07and I am stuck in here with...
01:10I am stuck in here watching a film
01:12that the Germans tried to bomb.
01:15- I know what you mean, Rodney, I feel exactly the same.
01:19- I thought you liked the film.
01:20- I do!
01:21I mean it's Christmas night and I'm stuck in here with you.
01:25- Well, thank you very much.
01:26- Well, why don't you stop your whining.
01:29I don't know why you didn't go out with Del.
01:31- Well, he's seeing Lassie again, isn't he?
01:35- Don't you let Del hear you refer to her as a dog.
01:39- Well, he must know.
01:42When she come back from Tenerife it took him two weeks
01:44to get her out of quarantine.
01:46(audience laughing)
01:47(doorbell ringing)
01:50- Was that the bell, Rodney?
01:53- It sounded very much like it, Grandfather.
01:56(doorbell ringing)
01:59There it goes again.
02:00Whatever could it mean?
02:03- It means there's someone at the door,
02:04you lazy little toe-rag!
02:06Go on, Rodney, it might be Del popped back for something.
02:16- I suppose you've run out of Bob Martins again, have ya?
02:21Oh, yeah?
02:23- Oh, good evening, sir.
02:26- Oh, me.
02:27- I'm sorry to bother you,
02:29but I wonder if you could help me?
02:33- Yeah, hang on.
02:34- No, no, I don't mean like that now.
02:36I'm looking for a family called the Trotters.
02:40- The Trotters?
02:43What makes you think the Trotters live here, then?
02:46- It's written on your bell.
02:48- Who is it, Ro...
02:52Reggie?
02:53- Hello, old 'un.
02:54How you diddling?
02:56- It's really you.
02:58- It's me all right.
03:00Long time, eh?
03:02- Too long, Reggie, too long.
03:06Oh, oh, it's good to see you, it really is.
03:10- You two have met before, then, have ya?
03:13- Oh, I'm sorry, let me introduce you.
03:16Reg, this is Rodney.
03:19Rodney, I'd like you to meet your dad.
03:24(audience laughing)
03:31- Right, where is he?
03:32- Oi, oi, now just calm down a minute, Del.
03:35Before you go in there shouting and bawling,
03:36you just remember he's still our father.
03:38- Well, we could be spending the night in the orphanage
03:40by the time I finish with him.
03:41Now come--
03:42- No, Del, just listen, will ya?
03:43He's not the man you remember, I promise.
03:47Look, I know you've told me he used to be
03:48a right Jack the lad, you know,
03:49all the flashy shirts and the gold cuff-links.
03:52Well, a bit like, uh...
03:56Well, a bit like some of the lads down at the pub, right?
03:58But, he's old now, Del, he's disheveled, he's pathetic.
04:04He seems sort of frightened.
04:07Now, just bear that in mind, will ya, please?
04:12- All right, Rodney, yeah, all right.
04:17- Del Boy, good to see you, son.
04:19Pour yourself a drink.
04:23- I used to have a shirt like that.
04:26- Oh, Del, your dad had a bath and a shave.
04:28Then he found he was a bit low on clothes.
04:31- Yeah, well, he's gonna get a bit low on teeth
04:32before he's much older.
04:34Right, come on, you, get your things, sling your hook.
04:36- All right, if you want to talk it over, I'm listening.
04:39- He only wants to stay for one night, Del.
04:42- Look, when he closed that door in 1965,
04:44he closed it for good.
04:46- Have I got a say in this?
04:47- Let's hear what Rodney's got to say.
04:49- What's to be said, Rodney?
04:50You know what he's like.
04:51- No, I don't.
04:52- Yes, you do, I've told you often enough.
04:53- Yeah, and that is all I know, Del.
04:56I wouldn't mind the opportunity of judging him for myself.
04:58- I never raised a hand to your mother, Rodney,
05:01except in self defense.
05:03- What do you mean, judging him?
05:04He deserted you when you were five years old!
05:07And not only that, he walked out on his own father.
05:10- But he's back now.
05:12- What, after 18 years?
05:14Did his watch stop?
05:15(audience laughing)
05:17Stone me, Rodney, we see more of Halley's Comet
05:19than we do him.
05:21Go on, just go, will ya?
05:22- Look, Del, whatever you may think of him,
05:25he's still my son.
05:26Look, he only wants a bed for the night.
05:29- I just don't believe it.
05:30I just don't believe it!
05:32Can't you see what he's doing?
05:34He's playing on your sympathy, he's playing on your loyalty.
05:37That man is, is evil.
05:39No, that is the devil standing there.
05:42- Oh, don't be so stupid, Del, that's your own father.
05:44- Yeah, but he sold his soul
05:46for an ounce of Old Holborn years ago.
05:49You give me one good reason, just one,
05:50why I shouldn't chuck you out of here
05:52by the scruff of your neck?
05:53- I can't think of one, Del Boy.
05:56I'm not proud of what I did, I'm ashamed.
05:59Ashamed and sorry.
06:02Just recently I've been laying in that hospital bed,
06:05night after night, reliving the moment I walked out of here.
06:10It hurts, Del Boy, it hurts.
06:14- Hospital bed?
06:15What's wrong with you, Reggie?
06:17- Something serious, I hope.
06:19- Del, just wrap up for five minutes, would ya?
06:22- Don't be fooled by him, Rodney.
06:24He's had everything from Galloping Lurgy
06:26to Saturday Night Fever!
06:27(audience laughing)
06:29Do you know, once when I was a kid, I was doing me homework,
06:31and I asked him what a cubic foot was.
06:33He said he didn't know,
06:34but he tried to have a week off work with it.
06:39- What's wrong with you, Reggie?
06:41Come on, you can tell me and Rodney.
06:43- Well, a few months back, they took me into hospital,
06:46just for a few routine checks.
06:49- Yeah, Jackanory, Jackanory.
06:52- I'm telling the truth this time, Del Boy, look.
06:57- What's this?
06:59Newcastle Infirmary.
07:01- Well, I've been living up there for the last year or so.
07:03- Yeah, what's, what's been the matter with you, then?
07:05- Well, they discovered that I had this, um,
07:09hereditary blood disease.
07:11It's called, oh, it's a medical word.
07:15- A long one, Reggie?
07:17- Ooh, yeah, yeah, Dad.
07:22- Well, can they cure it?
07:23- They're not sure.
07:25I just live in hope.
07:27That's about the only thing I've got.
07:30- Oh, come on...
07:33Dad.
07:36Well, these doctors, they can perform miracles nowadays.
07:39Yeah, you just gotta be brave.
07:42Just be...
07:44Hereditary?
07:45(audience laughing)
07:46- Eh?
07:48- You said it was hereditary.
07:50That means I could have it.
07:53(Del laughing)
07:57- And me.
08:00- Yeah, well, you see,
08:01this is half the reason I've dashed down here,
08:02The doctor said I had to warn my children immediately.
08:06- What have they got to do, son?
08:07Go for blood tests?
08:08- As soon as possible.
08:11I've done me best by you, this time, ain't I, Del Boy?
08:15- Oh, yeah, thanks.
08:17- Well, uh, I'm feeling a bit weak.
08:20I think I'll climb in.
08:24Night, boys.
08:25-[Both] Night.
08:27- Oh, and, uh, Merry Christmas.
08:32- Merry Christmas?
08:36- Will I have to have blood tests, as well?
08:39- No, it's hereditary, it means it's passed on, not back.
08:42(audience laughing)
08:48- You're most probably the carrier.
08:52What a right blinding Christmas
08:53this has turned out to be, isn't it?
08:55I mean, some people get wise men bearing gifts.
08:58We get a wally with a disease!
09:00(audience laughing)
09:04- You two get down to that hospital straight away
09:06after the holidays.
09:07- Yeah, but with these National Health cuts,
09:09we could wait forever.
09:11- It'll be all right, I'll give Dr. Becker a ring
09:13first thing in the morning.
09:14- Del, he's not gonna see us on Boxing Day.
09:16- Oh, yes, he will, he owes me a favor.
09:18His 10-year old son thinks that bike he got for Christmas
09:20fell off the back of a sleigh.
09:22Mr. Becker and I know better.
09:25Hey, just a minute, where is he sleeping?
09:28- I offered him my bed.
09:33- You are a great, big softy, ain't ya?
09:36- Well, he's not very well and all that.
09:38You'd have done exactly the same thing, wouldn't ya?
09:42- Yeah, of course I would.
09:43- Yeah, good, 'cause he turned my bed down and took yours.
09:46Goodnight.
09:46(audience laughing)
09:56- Where is the ghost of Christmas past?
09:59- He ain't here, Del.
10:00- What do you mean, he's gone?
10:01- Only down to the pub for the New Year's do.
10:04- Yeah, I thought he'd be too good to be true.
10:06- You talk about your father as if he's an alien.
10:09I mean, you seem to think of him as E.T.
10:12- No, no, I don't, Grandad.
10:14E.T. went home.
10:18- Oh, a couple of letters arrived for you two.
10:20I think it's the results of your tests.
10:28- Well, these have been opened.
10:29- Yeah, I know, your Dad must have done that.
10:31- What a saucy git, what--
10:32- You can't blame him, Del.
10:33I suppose he was too worried to wait for ya.
10:36- Oh, well, all right, then.
10:38Come on, then, Rodney, see what yours says.
10:53- All clear, it's all clear!
10:56I got an all clear, my son!
11:01Oh, well, don't look too cheerful about it, Del.
11:03- Well, I haven't seen mine yet, have I?
11:05- Oh, oh, no, I'm sorry.
11:11- What's, what's it say, Del?
11:14- The results of my tests...
11:23are negative.
11:29(audience laughing)
11:34- Negative?
11:37Well, that means all clear, as well, you plonker.
11:39(audience laughing)
11:43- Does it?
11:45Oh, my God, I thought it was a medical term for curtains.
11:50Well, why the hell don't they say all clear, then, eh?
11:53- Oh, who cares, come on,
11:54let's have a drink to celebrate, yeah?
11:56- Yeah, I need something.
11:57- Right, I'll go and get changed.
11:58- Right. - All clear.
12:01- That's funny. - Hmm, what?
12:04- Well, your blood group's AB, and Rodney's is just A.
12:08- Quit teasing, we both have the same blood, wouldn't we?
12:11- That's what I thought.
12:12- No, look, come here, look, give some here, huh?
12:16Look, there you are, you see, look?
12:18My blood group is AB, and Rodney's blood group is A.
12:25Wait a minute, how did that wally manage to get himself
12:28a different blood group, then?
12:30I mean, we're brothers, aren't we?
12:31We both have the same blood!
12:32We both got the same mother,
12:34and we both got the same fath...
12:40What are you suggesting?
12:42Rodney's got a different dad?
12:45- I ain't saying nothing, Del Boy.
12:47But I always remember Maisie Turner.
12:52- Maisie Turner?
12:53Who the hell is Maisie Turner?
12:55- She married Bernie.
12:56You remember Bernie, he used to pull the stall out
12:58down the market.
12:59- Yes, yeah, I remember, what about him?
13:00- Well, she had two boys.
13:02One by Bernie, the other by some bloke she met
13:04on a charabanc trip to the lights.
13:07Bernie found out, and he divorced her.
13:11- I see, how did he find out, by blood tests?
13:13- No, the youngest boy was half-caste.
13:16(audience laughing)
13:19Mind you, I ain't saying nothing about your mum,
13:21God rest her soul, but if you put two and two together.
13:26- You come up with Rodney.
13:28- Remember just before your mum announced
13:30that Rodney was on his way,
13:31well she and your Dad was having lots of rows.
13:34Then she started going out with new friends.
13:39- You mean that trumpet player from the Locarno?
13:42- I thought he played the saxophone.
13:44- No, no, no, that was the other one.
13:46Oh, I can see it all now.
13:48It's beginning to make sense, 'cause don't you remember
13:51when Rodney joined the Boys' Brigade,
13:52he was a natural with that bugle.
13:55- Yeah, and when you look at him, Del,
13:58I mean, he's sort of...
14:03different.
14:08- Oh, why did this have to happen, eh?
14:11This of all things, eh?
14:16- All right, then?
14:18- Yeah, yeah, wonderful, Rodney.
14:20- Couldn't be better, Rodney.
14:23- What's wrong?
14:24- Nothing, no, no, everything's, you know, brill.
14:27- Good, good.
14:30I wonder where Dad is.
14:32- That's exactly what me
14:33and your grandfather were wondering.
14:35No, what I mean is,
14:36there's no telling which pub he'd be in now, is there?
14:47- What?
14:48- Nothing, no, just admiring your suit.
14:50You know, it's great, lovely, it's a new one, is it?
14:52- No, I bought it five years ago,
14:54and it weren't new then.
14:57Come on, something's up, isn't it?
14:58Are you gonna tell me?
15:00- Oh, I suppose you've got a right to know, wouldn't ya?
15:03Come on, sit down.
15:07I want you to know it won't make a blind bit of difference.
15:10Everything will stay exactly the same.
15:14See, the thing is, Rodney,
15:17that man that you call your dad, ain't.
15:24- Ain't what? - He ain't your dad.
15:28- What, is it a joke?
15:31- I only wish it was, Rodney.
15:35- What?
15:35I don't get you.
15:36Of course he's my dad.
15:40Well, but he must be, Granddad introduced us.
15:45- Just say no more about it, and leave it at that, eh?
15:48- No, I won't leave it at that, Del.
15:50Are you trying to say that that man is not our father?
15:54- No, he just isn't yours.
15:57(audience laughing)
15:59See, you've got a different blood group, Rodney.
16:05- So, I've got a different blood group, what's that prove?
16:09- It proves that you're a whodunit.
16:13That's not the only thing.
16:14You see, when, well, just before Mum fell for you,
16:17she met this, like, new friend.
16:21He was a trumpet player from the Locarno.
16:23- And a saxophone player.
16:25- Yes, all right, Granddad, all right.
16:29- Are you trying to tell me that my dad was a band?
16:34(audience laughing)
16:38- No, Rodney, no.
16:41Just the brass section.
16:46- No, I don't believe ya.
16:48No, the way you've always described Mum,
16:49she'd never do anything like that.
16:51- No, she wouldn't normally,
16:53this must have been just a one-off.
16:58- Great.
17:00(sighing)
17:01Well, I can't wait to fill in
17:02my next passport application form.
17:06Mother's name, Joan Mavis Trotter.
17:08Father's name, Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass.
17:11(audience laughing)
17:17- Been for a drink, Reggie?
17:18- Yeah, I've been for a drink, Dad.
17:20I've got damn good reason to, ain't I?
17:23- What are you moaning about now?
17:24- I can read, Del Boy.
17:26Earlier this morning I happen to notice
17:28them medical reports.
17:29I thought, that's funny, different blood groups?
17:32So just to be on the safe side,
17:34I checked my group with me donor's card,
17:36then I checked your Granddad's group
17:37with his old army records.
17:39And what do I discover?
17:41We've got a Lone Ranger in the family.
17:44I'd just like to know who the old Tonto was.
17:47If your mother was alive now, I'd kill her.
17:50- You what? - No, don't!
17:52- Try to see it from my point of view, Del Boy.
17:54I mean, how would you like to have a son
17:55who you loved and cared for,
17:57who you fetched up as your own,
17:58only to find, years later, that he's a mystery?
18:01- What do you mean, you loved and cared for him?
18:04You walked out on Rodney when he was five years old.
18:07You didn't care whether he got shoes on his feet,
18:08or food in his belly!
18:09- I don't know why you keep bringing Rodney into this for!
18:12You're the mystery.
18:13(audience laughing)
18:23- AB, why?
18:26- You all right, Del?
18:27- Hm, yeah, I'm all right, darling, yeah.
18:29- I thought you'd have been in last night
18:30for the New Year's Eve do.
18:32The rest of your family were here.
18:33- Were they?
18:34Oh, no, I got a bit involved somewhere else.
18:36- Your Dad's a giggle, ain't he?
18:37- Oh, yes, Karen, that man is one long grin.
18:39- He got up on stage and started singing Adam Faith songs.
18:42- You're kidding?
18:43After all these years
18:44he's still doing the Adam Faith impression?
18:46- He was good.
18:47He sang "What do you want if you don't want money?"
18:49And what was the other one?
18:51-[Both] "Someone else's baby."
18:53(audience laughing)
18:55- Do you want another one?
18:56- Yeah, give me a top off there.
18:58Grand Marnier and grapefruit juice, please.
19:02-[Rodney] Oh, leave it out, then.
19:04- It's true, I tell you, yeah.
19:05- He still didn't know it were you?
19:07- He didn't have a clue.
19:08I saw him years later, and he still had the scar.
19:11(laughing)
19:19- All right, Del?
19:20- Yeah, triffic, Rodders.
19:21(clicking tongue)
19:23- Why didn't you come down last night
19:24for the New Year's Eve party, Del?
19:27- Oh, well, I had a bit of business to attend to, Rodney.
19:30Um, can I get you a drink?
19:31- That's very nice of you, but I'm with my family.
19:36- Perhaps I can get your family a drink, as well.
19:38Karen, would you give those people
19:41a large brandy each, will ya?
19:43- Cheers!
19:43Anyway, let me finish this story.
19:45- Yeah, well, I'm just gonna have a little chat
19:46with Del, all right?
19:47- All right, Rodders, don't be long, eh?
19:56- You didn't come home last night.
19:58- No, well, I stayed the night at Trigger's place, you know?
20:01I'm fed up with kipping on that settee.
20:04- Is that the only reason, Del?
20:05- Yeah, of course it is the only reason.
20:11You seem to be seeing a lot of the old man lately.
20:14- Yeah, well, I think he's trying to make up
20:16for all the lost years.
20:18- Yeah.
20:20- Oh. - Yeah.
20:22- So you stubbin' out this morning, have ya?
20:24- Mm-hmm, yeah, he took me to the zoo.
20:29(audience laughing)
20:34- All right, was it?
20:36- Yeah, it's all right, you know,
20:37all those animals and things.
20:41- Listen, I don't want to spoil the surprise,
20:44but I saw him up Selfridges on Friday
20:47looking at the Action Men.
20:52- Now, why don't you just come home, eh, Del?
20:54- No, no, I won't, not with him there.
20:58He won't let me forget that I'm a Lone Ranger.
21:01- Del, he has not mentioned it, honest.
21:03- Well, maybe not to you, but every time I see him
21:05on the landing he always shouts, "Hi ho, Silver."
21:11- Oh, yeah, did you know, at school once,
21:13during a biology lesson,
21:14the subject of genetics come up, right?
21:16And the teacher said that children with the same parents
21:19can have different blood groups.
21:22- That's all right, Rodney, you're trying to cheer me up.
21:23You're a diamond, you really are.
21:24- No, I mean it.
21:27Look, why don't you get some advice on the subject, eh?
21:30Go and see Dr. Becker.
21:31- No, I can't go and ask him.
21:32- Why not?
21:33- Well, because he'd know everything then, wouldn't he?
21:35I mean, he's the family doctor.
21:37He treated Mum, you know, when she was ill.
21:39I don't want him thinking that of her.
21:45No, I mean, it's just clear cut, ain't it, Rodney,
21:47I am, as the French say, oeuf sur le plat.
21:53You know, the family is A, and I am AB.
21:56- So, what's that matter?
21:59That's nothing, is it?
22:00You're only one letter out, eh?
22:03Look, the only difference between us is a B.
22:07- Yeah, we all know what B stands for, don't we?
22:10- Rodney?
22:11You gonna play cards with us?
22:14- Yeah, in a minute.
22:16Do you want a game?
22:17- No, Rodney, no, he'd only find some way of winding me up.
22:20- No, he won't, Del.
22:24Look, Del, if you just sit here on your own,
22:26he's gonna think he's beating ya.
22:29Oh, come on, he who dares wins.
22:38- Yeah, okay, come on. - Yeah.
22:42- All right, take a seat, Rodney.
22:45Oh, does your friend want to play, as well?
22:49- You just lay off him, Reg.
22:51- Don't you say nothing to annoy me.
22:52- Oh, as if I would.
22:54He's touchy, ain't he?
22:56Don't know who he gets it from.
22:59All right, what should we play?
23:00- Well, before you say it,
23:01we don't want to play Happy Families, all right?
23:04- Right, we'll play Pontoon.
23:07Dad, Rodney, Kemosabe.
23:10(audience laughing)
23:18You got any money, Rodney?
23:20- I gave you me last fiver this morning.
23:22- Dad?
23:23- You know I'm skint.
23:24- Well, why didn't you nip Del for a few quid?
23:26- I can't ask Del for money after what's happened.
23:28- No, I don't suppose you can.
23:31Rodney could.
23:34- All right, Granddad, Rodders.
23:37Evening, Reginald.
23:38Granddad, do me a favor,
23:39stick me a pizza under the grill, will ya?
23:41- You in for the night, Del?
23:42- Yeah, I'm in for the night.
23:44- Good, we can all have a family sing-song
23:46together this evening.
23:49You can join in, if you like.
24:00- What's up with you?
24:02- Earlier on I showed him my GCE certificates, right?
24:05And he said he was proud of me, and all that, right?
24:09Then he went and wrote a bet on the back of one of 'em.
24:13- He wrote a bet on the back of one of your GCE cert...
24:17That man is a devil, Rodney.
24:20- I'm beginning to think you're right, Del.
24:21- Yeah, I know one thing, you were right.
24:24- Was I? - Yeah.
24:26- I took your advice. - Good, good.
24:32- What advice was that, then?
24:34- I'll tell you in a minute.
24:35- Well, there were four in there earlier.
24:37-[Granddad] Yeah, and you drank 'em all.
24:39- You don't fancy popping down at the off-license
24:41to get a few drinks in, do you, Del Boy?
24:43- No. - Oh.
24:46- No, I'm off drink in a moment.
24:49See, I went down to see Dr. Becker this evening.
24:52- Yeah?
24:53Why, what's wrong with you, Del Boy?
24:55- Well, for the last week or so,
24:57I've been suffering from this pain in the ass.
25:00(audience laughing)
25:02So I asked Dr. Becker if he'd give me another blood test,
25:04you know, just to sort of double-check it.
25:06And he said there was no need to,
25:08because you were absolutely right, Rodney.
25:11A person's blood group doesn't make
25:12a blind bit of difference.
25:14You see, a mother and father could have three children,
25:16and each one of those kids
25:17could have a completely different blood group.
25:19- Oh, that's rubbish.
25:20I mean, what does he know, anyway?
25:22- Oh, he knows quite a lot.
25:24Like he knows that my blood group is group A.
25:27- Well, why did he write AB on your result?
25:29- He didn't, Granddad.
25:31Somebody added the B.
25:34- Now I wonder who could have done that?
25:36- Well, it must have been someone at the clinic
25:38having a joke.
25:40I mean, the letters arrived by post.
25:41The envelopes were sealed.
25:42- Until you opened them.
25:44- Well, I was only trying to make sure that you two
25:46didn't have the same illness as me.
25:50- Oh, yes, Dr. Becker was very interested
25:52in your blood disorder,
25:55so he phoned up Newcastle Infirmary to find out
25:57exactly what was wrong with you.
25:59And what do you reckon?
26:00- They've never heard of him.
26:01- And how did you know that, Rodney?
26:02- I must be clairvoyant, Del.
26:05- You see, they ran your name through their computer.
26:08They found that they didn't have a patient called Trotter.
26:12But they did have a porter called Trotter,
26:15but he left two weeks ago with 57 blankets,
26:20133 pairs of rubber gloves,
26:22and the chief gynecologist's Lambretta.
26:25(audience laughing)
26:29- I don't feel all that well.
26:31- Well, I mentioned that to Dr. Becker.
26:33You know what he suggested?
26:35Plenty of fresh air, new surroundings,
26:37and lots of exercise, like take a long, brisk walk.
26:43- Did he?
26:45Yeah, well, maybe he's right.
26:46Oh, is that the time?
26:47I really must be on my way.
26:49- So soon?
26:50- Well, I don't want to outstay me welcome, Del Boy.
26:52I'll, um, I'll get me things together.
27:06(money rustling)
27:16- Dirty, conniving little--
27:18- All right, Granddad, all right.
27:21So, I'll tell you what,
27:22I hid a bottle of scotch underneath the sink.
27:24- Oh, good boy, Del.
27:28- I'm glad he's gone.
27:31He's made it a right miserable Christmas for all of us.
27:34- It's all right, Rodney, it's all over now.
27:37Don't worry, we'll all soon be back to just the way we were.
27:41- Del Boy? - Hmm?
27:43- I burnt your pizza.
27:45(audience laughing)
27:48- See what I mean.
27:49(laughing)
27:52(audience applauding)
27:55♫ We've got some half-price cracked ice
27:57♫ And miles and miles of carpet tiles
27:59♫ TV's, deep freeze, and David Bowie LP's
28:02♫ Pool game, gold chains, wosnames
28:04♫ And at a push
28:05♫ Some Trevor Francis track suits
28:06♫ From a mush in Shepherds Bush, Bush, Bush
28:09♫ Bush, Bush, Bush, Bush, Bush
28:11♫ No income tax, no VAT
28:14♫ No money back, no guarantee
28:17♫ Black or white, rich or broke
28:20♫ We'll cut prices at a stroke
28:25♫ God bless Hooky Street
28:28♫ Viva Hooky Street
28:31♫ Long live Hooky Street
28:34♫ C'est magnifique Hooky Street
28:37♫ Magnifique Hooky Street
28:42♫ Hooky Street
28:45♫ Hooky Street
28:48♫ Hooky Street