Only Fools and Horses S00E05 — To Hull and Back

Every line from “To Hull and Back” (1690 quotes). Click one to open the meme editor on the exact frame, ready to caption and share.

00:04♪ Stick a pony in me pocket
00:07♪ I'll fetch the suitcase from the van
00:11♪ 'Cause if you want the best 'uns but you don't ask questions
00:15♪ Then, brother, I'm your man
00:19♪ 'Cause where it all comes from is a mystery
00:22♪ It's like the changing of the seasons
00:24♪ And the tides of the sea
00:27♪ But here's the one that's driving me berserk
00:30♪ Why do only fools and horses work?
00:33♪ La, la, la, la la La, la, la, la, la
00:37♪ La, la, la, la la La, la, la, la, la ♪
00:52WOMAN: (OVER PA) British Airways are pleased to announce
00:54the arrival of Flight 417 from Amsterdam.
01:08Oh. Sorry.
01:13Are you all right, madam?
01:14Oh, I'm sorry, I've spilled everything out of my case.
01:16I don't think the catch is working properly,
01:17I don't know what it is.
01:19-Thank you very much. -OFFICER: There you go.
01:24(PEOPLE CHATTERING IN DISTINCTLY)
01:25RODNEY: So, anyway, I says to her, right, you know,
01:28I mean, as gently as I could, like, I said, "Engagement is a big step."
01:32Yeah, terrific. Yeah, right.
01:34I said, you know, "It's not the sort of thing
01:36"you enter into very lightly."
01:38No, no, it isn't. Oh, look at that.
01:41Oi, Calvin,
01:43you spill your lager over this bar once more
01:44and I'll smack you right side the bloody ear 'ole.
01:46Sorry, Del man.
01:47This is not polyester, you know, this is pure crimplene.
01:53-As I was saying... -Mmm-hmm.
01:55Have you seen Boycie, Del?
01:56Hmm? No, no, not recently, why?
01:58Well, he's looking for you, says it's urgent.
02:00Oh, well, he knows where to find me, Michael, don't he, eh?
02:02Knows where to find me.
02:04Now, where was I?
02:05Hey, are you still going out with that little sort?
02:08Imogen, yeah, I'm still going out with her,
02:10that's what I've been telling you for the last ten minutes.
02:12-Oh, well, what's up then? -Well...
02:14Hello, Corrie love, how are you, all right?
02:18Yeah, go on.
02:19She's getting a little bit too serious for my liking, yeah?
02:22And I'm trying to find a way of cooling her down a bit,
02:24but I don't want to hurt her.
02:26Well, all you've got to say is, you got to say,
02:27"Imogen, you're giving me the hump.
02:29"Now go away and haunt someone else for a change."
02:34Yeah, that's pretty painless, Del, innit?
02:36I don't believe you.
02:37You're too soft with 'em, Rodney, you're too soft.
02:40That is your trouble.
02:41Look, here you are. You get the drinks in
02:43'cause I'm gonna pop over here, do a bit of business.
02:44Uh-huh.
02:46Vicky, can I have a pint of lager in there,
02:49and what's Del drinking these days?
02:51Oh, God knows.
02:52Tuesday, it was a Bacardi and Russian.
02:55Last week, it was Grand Marnier and orange.
02:57Week before that, it was Dubonnet and Coke.
03:00Er, give us a Tia Maria and Lucozade then.
03:22There you go, look, it's 1 5 quid, I can't say fairer than that.
03:25It's none of your foreign rubbish. Look, it's Japanese.
03:28Del, I've already got a watch.
03:30You call that a watch?
03:31That's crap that is, that's crap. Now, look.
03:34You didn't say that when you sold it to me.
03:37No, no, Teddy, what I meant was,
03:38well, I mean it's had its day, innit, eh? Look.
03:40Here, come on, yeah. Fifteen quid, right, that's what I paid for it.
03:44-You're getting it at cost. -Del, I don't fancy it.
03:49All right then, for you, a tenner,
03:51as it's the last one.
03:53-Ten? -Mmm-hmm.
03:55Here, it's got a scratch on the face.
03:57Oh, don't worry about that, I'll get you another one from the back of the van.
04:01Look, it plays 36 different national anthems,
04:04it tells you what day of the week it is, and it's a calculator an' all.
04:07Blimey, is that the time?
04:08No, no, it's still set on oriental hours, innit?
04:10-Oh. -Ah, yeah. (CLEARS THROAT)
04:12You get your money out, I'll be back in a tick.
04:15Back in a tick, I like it. (CHUCKLING)
04:20(INDISTINCT CHATTERING ON TV)
04:21(EXPLOSION ON TV)
04:23(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
04:26ALBERT: I was there, Ruby. RUBY: Yeah?
04:29Yeah, but which one were you then?
04:32No, I don't mean I was in the film, I meant I was in that battle.
04:35What battle is it?
04:37God knows. I can't hear a bleeding thing with all this monkey music.
04:41Must have taken a lot of courage to do what you did, Albert.
04:44-Yeah. -RUBY: All them sharks and icebergs.
04:47Yeah, and a giant octopus.
04:49Oh, gives me itchy fever just thinking about it.
04:52Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night screaming,
04:56nightmares about all the torpedoes,
04:58mines, kamikaze pilots.
05:01That's why I never talk about it, Rube.
05:04My Harry used to wake up in the middle of the night screaming.
05:07-Yeah? -Yeah.
05:09Sometimes, he used to scream in the middle of the day.
05:12Bloody glad when they put him away, I was.
05:15What did it was the tragedy that happened to our son.
05:20Harry just never got over it.
05:22He was such a lively lad.
05:25He went to school with Del Boy.
05:27They used to sit next to each other in class.
05:30Del must have mentioned him.
05:32Slater. Roy Slater.
05:34Slater?
05:35-I don't remember, Rube. -No.
05:38Well, maybe it's still too painful for Del to talk about.
05:42He was only 18. He had all his life before him.
05:45What was it, a motorcycle accident?
05:47No! He...
05:50he joined the police.
05:53He's one of their top men now.
05:55He's put more people behind bars than Watneys.
06:16(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
06:17DEL: I know it looks like a gent's watch.
06:20That's why the girls are wearing 'em these days.
06:22-Boycie. -BOYCIE: Can I have a quiet word?
06:24DEL: Yeah, sure, why not.
06:27-Watcha, Abdul? You all right, my son? -Very well, thank you.
06:29Hey, you still up at Hatton Garden, are you?
06:31Yes, I am still in Hatton Garden.
06:33-Could we have a word with you, please? -Yeah, 'course you can, why not?
06:36We'll be in the back room.
06:37Oh. Yeah, all right. I'll just get me drink.
06:42Here, got to do a bit of business with Boycie and Abdulla.
06:46Oi, saucy mare.
06:48It's orders from the guv'nor,
06:49there's a lot of forged money floating round.
06:51You didn't check his money just now.
06:53Yeah, well, that's different, innit?
06:56I'm going right off that girl.
06:57See you in a minute.
07:02(SIGHS)
07:14All right, Dave?
07:16-Watcha, Trig. How you going? -All right.
07:18I'm feeling lucky tonight. You never know, I might pull.
07:21So I thought I'd have a dab of Blue Stratos,
07:24put me best clothes on.
07:25Yeah? What stopped you then?
07:27-These are my best clothes. -Oh, sorry.
07:31Hello, darling. Where you been all my life?
07:33Piss off.
07:35I always use that line with the birds.
07:37Yeah? Why?
07:40Well, I dunno, really. It's never worked.
07:44I see.
07:47So, what sort of deal is it?
07:50I have recently made contact with a certain gentleman
07:52who runs a small business in Amsterdam.
07:54Amsterdam. Amsterdam in Holland you mean?
07:57I told you he was the right man for the job, didn't I, Abdul?
08:02My brother Sayeed has done business with him in the past.
08:04You know my brother lives in France now.
08:06-No, no, I didn't know that. -Yes. Yes.
08:08-He's doing very well. -Is he?
08:09Yeah, he's married now. His wife's expecting...
08:11Get on with it, Abdul, for God's sake,
08:13otherwise we'll be here all bleeding night.
08:16Yes, well,
08:18last week I flew to Amsterdam to see the gentleman in question.
08:21A Mr Van Kleefe.
08:23And after some preliminary discussions,
08:25Mr Van Kleefe has agreed to sell us some merchandise.
08:31DEL: Merchandise, what sort of merchandise?
08:34BOYCIE: Diamonds.
08:36Diamonds?
08:38Thirty of 'em.
08:39ABDUL: Cut and polished.
08:40Blue diamonds.
08:42Top of the range, Del Boy.
08:44Blimey, it's gonna cost an arm and a leg, innit?
08:46Fifty grand.
08:49Fifty grand? You and Abdul are weighing out fifty grand?
08:52In England, they have a market value
08:54of £150,000.
08:58Bloody hell.
09:02I take it you're not going to bother to inform our friends
09:04at Customs and Excise of this little matter.
09:06No. Well, they're rather busy. I think they'd appreciate it.
09:09(LAUGHING)
09:12Really? Anyway, where do I come into all this?
09:14Yeah. You're not expecting me to buy any off you, are you?
09:17Now, the thing is, you know,
09:18I've had a few bad results lately and I'm potless.
09:20Leave off, Del Boy.
09:22These gems sell at around five grand apiece.
09:25What we are asking you to do, Derek, is...
09:30is to take the money to Amsterdam for us.
09:34You want me to take £50,000 to Amsterdam?
09:37Yeah.
09:38-And... -And what?
09:41And...
09:43bring the diamonds back.
09:47DEL: Do you know, for a minute there I thought you were serious.
09:50BOYCIE: We are very serious, Del, deadly serious.
09:53ABDUL: There is nothing to worry about, Derek.
09:55Mr Van Kleefe has completed many of these transactions,
09:57and he assures us nothing ever goes wrong.
10:01(BOTTLE THUDDING)
10:03Up your kilt.
10:08What do you think I am? A total wally or something?
10:11We would look after you, Derek.
10:13Oh, yes, I'm sure you would.
10:15You'd visit me once a month, wouldn't you, eh?
10:17Bring me cakes with files in.
10:19You find yourself another mug.
10:22BOYCIE: We'll give you ten grand.
10:34Ten thousand pounds?
10:36All right, 12.
10:38-I knew he'd haggle. -You berk, Abdul.
10:44All right, Del. Twelve grand.
10:51Just think of it, Del Boy.
10:53Twelve big 'uns.
10:55Set you up a treat for the future.
10:57And there will be no problems, it will all be as easy as apple tart.
11:01Well, if it's as easy as apple tart, how come you two ain't going yourselves?
11:07BOYCIE: Er...
11:08Well, we're both scared of flying, ain't we?
11:10(CHUCKLING)
11:11Oh, leave it out, Boycie.
11:13Abdul's done more flying than sparrows.
11:15No, no, no, no, it would look very suspicious for me,
11:18a registered Hatton Garden merchant to fly to Amsterdam too often.
11:22Oh, I don't know about this.
11:25Look, Del, we chose you specially.
11:29We needed someone we knew,
11:32-someone we could trust. -Someone who was skint.
11:39What happens if I get caught?
11:41Well, Abdul and me have done our money, haven't we?
11:44Done your money? Your money?
11:47I stand to get banged up for five years.
11:55All right, Del.
11:57Fifteen grand?
12:09Not much use to you when you're locked up
12:10in the Scrubs, though, is it, eh?
12:12We are paying you to take the risk, Derek.
12:16It's a big gamble, Del.
12:18But he who dares wins, don't he?
12:23'Course, if it's too big for you, Del...
12:26If you think you're a bit out of your depth...
12:30just say so.
12:36Fifteen.
12:40You see, my problem is,
12:41I don't want to hurt her,
12:43'cause Imogen's a lovely kid, you know.
12:45I mean, she's gentle, she's sensitive.
12:48And on top of all that, she cares.
12:51I reckon she'd do a turn if you played your cards right.
12:55What's the point in discussing it with you, eh, Trig?
12:57We're talking on two different levels.
13:00Yeah.
13:04(INDISTINCT CHATTERING ON TV)
13:07ALBERT: Two and a half weeks we were adrift
13:09in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.
13:12Got a nice tan, though.
13:13(BOTH LAUGHING)
13:19Come on, Albert, we're going home.
13:22Oi, Rodney, come on. Home.
13:27Well, suppose I ought to be getting on, really,
13:29give Imogen a ring, tell her it's all over between us.
13:36Sorry, can I just get past you? Sorry.
13:40Sorry. Sorry, I was just trying to...
13:45Hello, Imogen.
13:54Look, I know what you're doing,
13:56I just don't understand why.
13:58DEL: Well, Mum said to me on her deathbed,
14:01-she said, "Del Boy..." -RODNEY: No, no, don't start on that.
14:04Look, what do you think the odds are of you getting caught?
14:07Oh, shut up, Rodney. You've been going on about it all night.
14:10Del, you are smuggling diamonds.
14:13Do you think you could yell just a little bit louder,
14:15'cause there's a geezer down there at the other end of the market
14:18who didn't quite catch it all?
14:20Del, do you realise what you're getting into?
14:23Yes, I do know what I'm getting into. Fifteen grand is what I'm getting into.
14:28Look, Rodney, this is not drugs or guns, is it?
14:31I mean, that sort of stuff kills people.
14:34It's only little diamonds.
14:36I'm trying to bring down the cost of getting engaged,
14:38and I thought you and Imogen would have been pleased.
14:41Yeah, well, me and Imogen's finished.
14:44Oh. You finally told her then, did you?
14:48-Yeah, sort of. -Did she cry?
14:51No. Look, Del, smuggling diamonds is still illegal.
14:54It is only illegal
14:56because Boycie and Abdul ain't paying any import tax.
15:00All right, all right. Supposing they pay import tax then, eh?
15:02What do you think the government is gonna do with that?
15:04They're only going to go out and buy another Strident missile, ain't they?
15:07Oh, so you're telling me that smuggling diamonds
15:09is a blow for world peace?
15:11Every little bit helps, Rodney.
15:13Well, why don't you bring back a load of diamonds, Del?
15:15You might end up with the Nobel Prize.
15:18Hadn't thought of that.
15:20Now, come on, look, Rodney,
15:21we'll waltz through the Customs at Gatwick.
15:24They won't take any notice of us.
15:25Del, what do you know about diamonds, eh?
15:28I mean, to you, diamonds are them things that you wear in your cufflinks,
15:31and, quite honest with you, I've seen better cat's eyes.
15:35I don't have to know anything,
15:36Abdul's in charge of that side, we're just the couriers.
15:43Hang on a minute.
15:45What do you mean "we"? (GROANS)
15:48Look, don't think I'm going to cut my little kid brother
15:50out of a deal like this, do you? What sort of bloke do you think I am?
15:53Well, your little kid brother don't want to be cut in.
15:56A little while ago you said you wanted to be a courier.
15:58Yeah. For Club 18-30.
16:00Look, I'm going to need you on this one, Rodney,
16:02'cause when that aeroplane lands, you're gonna be my diversion.
16:05Do you know how long I'd go away for?
16:08I've already got a record for possession of cannabis, ain't I?
16:11Exactly.
16:12And that is what's going to be my diversion.
16:14See, 'cause not only is Amsterdam the centre of the diamond trade,
16:17but it's also the drugs capital of Europe. All right?
16:20So, when we go through passport control and they see Rodney Trotter
16:23nipping off to Holland, they're gonna say,
16:24"Oh, that little rascal, he's after the old exotic stuff again."
16:29When we come back through Customs, who are they gonna nab,
16:32me the sophisticated jet-setter in a camel-hair coat,
16:35or you, the Boomtown Rat?
16:37Well, they're gonna pull me, ain't they?
16:38Exactly. So whilst you're inside being strip-searched,
16:41you know, and all that game,
16:43me and the diamonds are gonna having it away down the kermit.
16:46Oh, terrific.
16:48So, while you're off down the road jollying it up,
16:50it's touch your toes time for Rodney.
16:52Oh, you won't come to any harm, Rodney, only be a minor discomfort.
16:56They'll let you go in a couple of hours.
16:58And then you come home to five lovely grand.
17:03Which is your share.
17:07Five grand?
17:08Five grand.
17:10Buy an awful lot of lollypops for five grand, Rodney,
17:13get yourself a nice second-hand Capri,
17:16whip round to Imogen's, get your old card stamped.
17:19Know what I mean?
17:21Oh, I don't know.
17:26I've never actually been to Amsterdam.
17:29I suppose we could turn it into a bit of an 'oliday, eh?
17:32Oh, well, yeah, I mean, we'll be there at least an hour.
17:38Look, come on, while you're thinking about it,
17:39let's try and knock some of this gear out,
17:41make some of that stuff that we read about called profit,
17:44'cause if all this falls through, bruv, we are skint, all right?
17:49-Denzil, my son. -(TYRES SCREECH)
17:51-DENZIL: No. -No what?
17:53No, I don't want to buy anything.
17:55No, I don't want to sell anything.
17:57And, no, I don't want you to make me a millionaire.
17:59Innit... Innit marvellous, eh? Innit marvellous?
18:02You just stop to say hello to an old mate
18:04and all you get is a load of old verbal.
18:06I don't want anything, Denzil. Honest.
18:10-What you carrying? -Nothing. It's empty.
18:13Ah, well, I could fill that up or you.
18:15-You could earn yourself a few bob. -Look,
18:17just leave me alone, will you, all right?
18:19Corinne and I have just got back together again,
18:21and I've had to promise her that I'd stop seeing you,
18:23stop getting drunk, stop gambling, and get a steady job.
18:27Is it my fault you married a wrong 'un?
18:29It's no reason to give me a volley.
18:32You just hang about there for a minute, I'll be back.
18:36DENZIL: He's everywhere I go, you know.
18:37He's on the phone to me.
18:39He's at me front door.
18:41He's in the betting shop, he's in the pub.
18:44And now he's in a bloody traffic jam.
18:47You know what? Rodney, I get this feeling
18:48that he's haunting me, know what I mean?
18:51Yeah.
18:52Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.
19:00Hey, what's up with him?
19:02What have I done now?
19:04I can't understand it, Del.
19:05I mean, all you've ever done is ruin his wedding reception,
19:09almost break up his marriage,
19:11flood his kitchen and steal his £2,000 redundancy money,
19:14and he goes and gets all silly about it.
19:21Yeah.
19:27These are Japanese.
19:29And these are hairy knees.
19:32Right? So, now what's the difference? I'll tell you what the difference is.
19:35These will not give you the time
19:36in all the major capital cities of the world,
19:37neither are they a calculator,
19:39nor do they play 36 different national anthems.
19:42But this, well,
19:43this is a quality timepiece of precision craftsmanship
19:47that will cost you £67 upward.
19:49Now, I'm not gonna ask you for £67. Oh, no.
19:52I'm not gonna ask you for 47, I'm not asking £37.
19:55Steady on, Del, think of the profit margin.
19:57No, no, don't interrupt me now, Rodney, 'cause not while I'm in my stride.
20:00I'm not asking you for £27.
20:02This is £1 5, for this quality watch, ladies and gentlemen.
20:05That's all. This beautiful timepiece. Yes, ladies and gentlemen,
20:08-for a mere twenty quid... -No, no. You said 15.
20:11-I beg your pardon, ma'am. -You said 15.
20:12(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
20:15Hold on. Hold on, Rodney. Now hold on.
20:18I do believe that I said £15.
20:20I'm sorry, I must be going mad, I'm sure I said, I'm going mad...
20:23All right, darling, just to show you that I'm a man of me word,
20:25go on, you can have this watch for 15 quid.
20:27Go on, steal it from me.
20:29Go on, I'm losing money on the deal, right, Rodney?
20:31Come on, get the rest of the watches out of this suitcase,
20:33'cause there'll be a mad rush in a minute.
20:36Oh, they're not going all that well, are they?
20:38Well, they're going down like saveloys in a kibbutz.
20:41Yeah. If I could just sell one, I know that the others would follow.
20:45Here. Just a minute. I've had an idea, watch this.
20:50Right, here you are. Listen, ladies and gentlemen.
20:51Excuse me, just a moment. Look, give us your time,
20:54because I've just had a business discussion
20:55with my partner here on my right,
20:56who informed me that we desperately need
20:59the space in the suitcase, right? So what I am going to have to do,
21:02I'm going to have to give these watches away.
21:04So here you go. I'm giving 'em away at £10 each.
21:07There you go. Go on, ten quid.
21:08Fifteen quid to the black bloke, can't say fairer than that.
21:10Why can't I have it for £10 then?
21:12For £10, sir, 'course you can. Rodney, take the man's money.
21:15There you go. Yeah, we've sold that one.
21:17There we go, we're off and running.
21:19There we are. Come on, darling. Cast your bread upon the water,
21:22that's what I say, and it'll come back tenfold.
21:25All right, listen. Give us your money, take the money.
21:28(WHISTLING)
21:31Oh. All right, listen, hang about.
21:33We'll be back in five minutes, all right?
21:42Don't look back.
21:47Del Boy.
21:49Slater.
21:50Well, what a coincidence.
21:52I was just saying to Hoskins I wonder how my old mate Del Boy is,
21:55-weren't I, Hoskins? -Eh?
21:57-Oh, yes, sir. -And how are you, Rodney?
22:01Uh, very well thank you, Detective Inspector.
22:04Chief Inspector.
22:06Sorry, I didn't know you'd been promoted.
22:08Yeah, about six months back.
22:11I took Hoskins with me, he's my driver.
22:13Oh, driver.
22:15Everyone always said you'd be going places, Terry.
22:17Going places?
22:18Oh, yeah! (CHUCKLING)
22:22Here I saw your mum down the Nags Head last night, Slater.
22:24-Yeah? She ask after me? -Yeah.
22:26No.
22:29Do you fancy a cup of tea, Del?
22:30Oh, actually, Roy, we're in a bit of a hurry if you don't mind?
22:32I don't think you heard the question, Del, I said do you fancy a cup of tea?
22:37Well now you come to mention it, I am a bit parched.
22:39(BOTH CHUCKLING)
22:43MAN: (ON RADIO) Drive safely Clive and, uh, I'll tell you what...
22:50There you go, Detective Inspector.
22:56Chief.
22:58What?
22:59I'm a Chief now.
23:03I'll be bleeding glad when Custer arrives.
23:07(CLEARS THROAT)
23:08Watch what you say, Rodney, that Slater's a bastard.
23:12Eh?
23:14I said...
23:15Watch what you say, Slater's a bastard.
23:18Yeah, I remember from the last time.
23:21He's on the warpath now.
23:23He's retiring soon and wants to go out in a blaze of glory.
23:26Retiring? It's a bit early, innit?
23:28He's had no choice.
23:30It's come from the top, they're forcing him out.
23:32Oh.
23:33See, a little while ago,
23:35Slater persuaded this young black fella to sign a full confession
23:39to being a peeping Tom.
23:41When the case gets to court it turns out he's a registered blind person.
23:46Bad publicity for the police, innit?
23:48What about the poor black bloke?
23:50Oh, he's not too upset,
23:51they reckon he might get a record contract out of it.
23:54Shh. (CLEARS THROAT)
23:56There you are, Hoskins, bacon sandwich for you.
23:59Are you sure you didn't want nothing to eat?
24:01Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're quite sure.
24:02We're not all that hungry actually, Roy. (CHUCKLES)
24:04Anyway, what you doing back in the parish?
24:06I thought you'd been transferred to River Police.
24:08No not transferred, no, that was just a special assignment.
24:12I was after this little gang of diamond smugglers.
24:17Any luck?
24:18Oh, I caught them, Del, yeah.
24:21Even nabbed the ringleader. Geezer called Hendriks.
24:23They got away though.
24:25Lack of evidence.
24:27(CLICKS TONGUE) Oh, that's a choker, innit?
24:29-Oh, I'll have them, Del. -DEL: Mmm.
24:31What, they're still doing it then?
24:33How many times have we almost had them, Hoskins?
24:35Twice.
24:36Twice, that's right.
24:37But each time they have somehow managed to get shot of the diamonds.
24:40If you haven't got them.
24:42-You've got no evidence. -No
24:44Between you and me, Del.
24:46I've heard a whisper, they're trying it on again.
24:48Go on.
24:49A couple of local businessmen, shall we say, have put the money up.
24:54And we know who they are don't we, Hoskins?
24:56-Boycie and... -Hoskins.
24:59Sorry, sir.
25:02But I don't know who the courier is.
25:05Now, unless I can catch the courier with the stones on him I'm knackered.
25:08Ah.
25:10This is where you come in, Del.
25:12Me?
25:14You don't think I'm the courier, do you?
25:16(LAUGHING) Leave off, Del, this is big!
25:21No, the way I see it is this.
25:24You hear all the gossip in the pubs and the clubs.
25:28It's no skin off your nose if you ring me with a name.
25:31After all, these businessmen ain't puttin' no money your way are they?
25:35Well, no. (CHUCKLES)
25:36You don't even have to say who's calling,
25:39make it anonymously,
25:41and I will make life very comfortable for you,
25:45No more aggro from wooden-tops in the market.
25:49Oh, well that's very fair of you, Roy.
25:52-Innit? -Oh, yeah. Very fair.
25:55This is my last case, Del.
25:58I'm retiring from the Met.
26:00(SIGHS)
26:01The commissioner begged me to stay.
26:05But I've had enough.
26:07And I want my career to end on a high note.
26:10Yeah, well, of course, we wish you a lot of luck, there, Slater, yeah.
26:14I'll get 'em in the end, Del.
26:17I never give up. You see, once I get my teeth into someone,
26:21I don't let go.
26:22Oh.
26:23-Know what they call me, at the Met? -No.
26:28-Bulldog. -(CHUCKLES) Oh.
26:30Actually, I have heard one or two people call you (STUTTERING) bulldog.
26:33Or, words to that effect, anyway.
26:35SLATER: That's the sort of guy I am.
26:37I never give up.
26:40So if you hear anything, Del, you know me number.
26:44Well, this has been nice.
26:46(ALL LAUGHING)
26:47Like old school days, you and me sat at the same desk.
26:50(LAUGHING)
26:52Only this time you didn't put frogspawn in me milk.
26:54(BOTH LAUGHING) No, I didn't, did I...
26:55(LAUGHING) You rascal!
26:58(CLEARS THROAT)
26:59Do you want me to pay for my breakfast, Sid or what?
27:04No, um, have it on the house, Mr Slater.
27:07Very nice of you, Sidney, very nice indeed.
27:11You'd better pay for your breakfast, Hoskins.
27:12Thank you, sir.
27:16So, uh, you don't know if this courier is a man or a woman.
27:21A woman?
27:23I hadn't thought of that.
27:25That's very good thinking, Rodney.
27:27Have you ever thought of joining the police?
27:29No.
27:31No, I'm ambitious!
27:33-(CHUCKLES) -Ha-ha.
27:36Very good.
27:38No, all I know is, that he or she
27:41will be flying in with the goods next week.
27:45And I'll be waiting.
27:54There you go, young Terry
27:55HOSKINS: Thanks, Sid.
28:00(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
28:03Well, that's that then, innit?
28:05How do you mean?
28:06Well, you can't go ahead with it now, can you?
28:07Slater's got all the airports covered.
28:09Well, he can't watch all the airports 24 hours a day can he, eh?
28:13We'll have to find another way of sneaking in.
28:16Wait a minute.
28:18Oh, man!
28:23-You owe me 32 pence, Del. -Eh?
28:25No, no, Mr Slater paid for ours.
28:28Oh.
28:35-(CAR DOOR SLAMS) -BOYCIE: Oh, yes.
28:37It has a full service record, taxed till the end of the month.
28:40It'll have no trouble passing it's MOT. (CHUCKLES)
28:45Boyce, someone on the phone wants ya.
28:47-Who is it? -Dunno.
28:49Uh, would you just say that I'm rather busy with some clients
28:52at the moment please, Colin?
28:54He, um, said it's something to do about diamonds.
28:57I'll be right there.
29:00(CHUCKLES)
29:01Yes, it's the new, Austin Diamond.
29:04Coming out next year.
29:05Still in the experimental stage. (CHUCKLES)
29:08Do excuse me, Mr Biggastaff. (CLEARS THROAT)
29:14-Yeah. What's up? -It's Del Boy.
29:16Listen, I've just had a very interesting conversation
29:18with Chief Inspector Slater, you know,
29:19bullshit of the yard.
29:21Slater! What's he want?
29:23-He knows. -How?
29:25Well I don't know, do I?
29:26He's got more grasses than Fisons.
29:29-Well, how much does he know? -Well, he knows...
29:35He knows that you and Abdul have put the money up.
29:37I don't believe it!
29:39(SIGHS)
29:40Well, we can't pull out now, Del.
29:43Abdul's just made all the arrangements with Van Kleefe.
29:45All right, all right, listen, don't panic, don't panic.
29:48He doesn't know who the courier is, that's what he was pumping me about.
29:52So I'm the last bloke he suspects.
29:54Yeah, well, it's all right for you. I've still got 50 grand in my house!
29:57If Slater comes sniffing around, how am I gonna explain that away?
30:01No, we gotta meet tonight.
30:03I'll give you the money and Abdul can make the final arrangements.
30:06Mmm-hmm. All right, where shall we meet, your place?
30:08You must be joking!
30:09My house might be under surveillance!
30:12We can't meet at Abdul's either for the same reason.
30:14Well, how about the flat?
30:15You don't honestly think
30:16I'm gonna walk across your estate with 50 grand on me,
30:19-do you? -Well, you've got a point.
30:21What about the Nags Head?
30:22Leave off, he knows that's our local.
30:25Anyway we can't meet in any public place.
30:27He sees the three of us together, he's got the full story.
30:30No, we got to come up with somewhere dark and secluded.
30:34Somewhere where we can lock the doors and be on our own,
30:37and nobody would be able to see us.
30:41I know just the place.
30:42Yeah? Where?
30:46The back of Denzil's bleeding lorry?
30:50I mean, what a place to hold a meeting.
30:52Personally, I think it's a good idea.
30:54As Derek said, this is the last place Slater would think of looking.
30:57Yeah,
30:59but I'm going to get grease stains on my coat,
31:01I am going to look a right mess.
31:05I mean what has Denzil had in here?
31:08It smells like rotten fish. (SNIFFS)
31:10Oh, stop your whining Boycie, you're like an old woman at times.
31:14(ENGINE REVVING)
31:23Right, they're here.
31:26I'll be about five minutes.
31:32Spot any danger, give us a signal, all right?
31:40Oi!
31:41What's the signal, then?
31:46-You what? -Shall I beep the hooter?
31:48No, you wally!
31:50That'll attract all sorts of unwanted attention won't it, eh?
31:53-Well shall I flash the lights? -DEL: Tsk.
31:56How are we going to see flashing lights
31:58when we're in the back of a ruddy trailer?
32:00-All right then, so what's the signal? -(INHALES)
32:05Can you make a sound like an owl?
32:07An owl sound?
32:09Yes, you know, like this.
32:10(BLOWING)
32:13-Oh that? -DEL: Yeah.
32:14-No. -Oh.
32:15I can do bunny shadows though.
32:17I've got enough of your bloody sarcasm, Rodney!
32:19Just think of a signal.
32:22Back in a minute. (SIGHS)
32:25You don't think Slater suspects anything else do you?
32:27No, if he'd suspected that
32:29he'd have been round with a search warrant by now.
32:31Yeah.
32:33'Ello 'ello 'ello.
32:35What are you doing in here then?
32:39(CHUCKLES)
32:41Get in here for God's sake will you?
32:43DEL: Easy. (GRUNTS)
32:45Cor, it don't half hum in here, don't it?
32:49(EXHALES) All right Abdul, got everything sorted out?
32:51Yes, the arrangements have all been made.
32:53I mean, of all the places on Earth,
32:56why in God's name do we have to meet in the back of a stinking lorry?
33:00Oh, dear!
33:01Look around you! Can you think of a better place, eh?
33:05Look, no prying eyes, no plain-clothes coppers.
33:08Nobody knows we're in here.
33:09What do you mean, Denzil don't know?
33:11Of course he don't, leave it out! He'd go divvy.
33:14No, apart from Rodney, out there in the van,
33:16we're the only three people in the world who know we're in here. (CHUCKLES)
33:19All right,
33:21all right, leave it to me.
33:23Get your coat and a uniformed officer, Hoskins.
33:26-Where are we off to, sir? -That transport cafe in Soweto Road.
33:29One of the neighbours reported seeing three men breaking into a lorry.
33:32Righto, sir.
33:35Parker, get a car round to the front.
33:39I spoke to Mr Van Kleefe this morning
33:40about the date, the venue and the time for the exchange.
33:43Now, you must be very clear about these matters, Derek,
33:46so listen carefully.
33:47The exchange will take place this coming Friday at 12 noon.
33:5112 noon, right.
33:52That's right.
33:53Now, here is the address in Amsterdam.
33:55Memorise it and then destroy it.
33:56(CHUCKLES) Doesn't self-destruct then?
33:58Be serious, Del, please.
34:01-Friday at 12, right? -Yeah, all right. I've got it, okay.
34:04Now, my cousin, Hussein, will meet you in Van Kleefe's office.
34:06-Your cousin? -Mmm-hmm.
34:07Stone me, Abdul. (CHUCKLES)
34:09Your family get everywhere, don't they?
34:11Got a brother in France, cousin in Holland.
34:13Sure you ain't got no one out in Outer Mongolia?
34:16A very distant uncle, but we never talk about him.
34:20My cousin is also a diamond merchant.
34:23He will be there to check the merchandise.
34:24-Check it, all right. -BOYCIE: Don't want you coming back
34:26with a load of Mickey Mouse gear, do we Del Boy? (CHUCKLES)
34:29Watch it, Boycie, my mum gave me them.
34:32-Oh. -Shh.
34:35(PNEUMATIC HISS)
34:37That's all right. It's all right.
34:38Come on, where's the money, where's the money?
34:42There's 50 grand there, Del Boy.
34:45Please be careful with it.
34:47Trust me, Boycie.
34:48Of course we trust you.
34:50Hmm. What's the combination to this then?
34:53When you get to Van Kleefe's office,
34:54you phone me and then I'll give you the combination.
34:58Oh, that's terrific.
34:59That's a great deal of trust, that is, innit, eh?
35:01One thing we forgot to mention, the most important thing of all.
35:05If anything should go wrong, nothing can go wrong,
35:08but if it should, you never heard of us.
35:11Me and Abdul had nothing to do with it, you never heard the name Van Kleefe.
35:15It's just a precaution, Del Boy.
35:17Terrific, that means I'm up on offer don't it, eh?
35:19That's what we're paying you 15 grand for.
35:22(CLICKS TONGUE) All right, all right.
35:24Don't worry, there won't be no comebacks.
35:26Here, what about the expenses for these aeroplane tickets then?
35:28Tickets? You only need the one, Derek.
35:30No, I'm taking my kid brother with me.
35:32Taking Rod... What is this, a bloody outing?
35:35No.
35:37Rodney is going to be my diversion for when I come back through the Customs.
35:40Look, it's going to be hard enough, what with Slater and the 7th Cavalry
35:44ferreting about amongst all the duty frees.
35:46Don't make it any harder.
35:49Very well.
35:51-We will pay the expenses. -That's all right.
35:53-Don't lump 'em up too much though. -All right.
35:56Right, I'm off.
35:58Are you? I wondered what the smell was all night.
36:00(CLEARS THROAT)
36:01Right, we'll see you next Friday when you return.
36:04Good luck, Derek.
36:05-Yeah, best of luck, Del Boy. -Thank you.
36:08-Give us a minute to get clear. -Mmm.
36:30(CHUCKLING)
36:52Parker, down there.
36:54Hoskins, check over the back there.
37:08(IMITATES OWL BADLY)
37:11What was that, sir?
37:12Dunno, sounded like a crow.
37:15Crow.
37:41Oh, my God.
37:43Oh, God.
37:46He'll throw the bloody key away.
37:48Come on, get on with it or we'll never get home tonight.
37:51Any luck?
37:52HOSKINS: Not yet, sir.
38:03(CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY)
38:05Hoskins, Parker.
38:11HOSKINS: This looks promising, sir.
38:22Take over, Hoskins.
38:26-All right, Parker. -Me?
38:43What is that?
38:44I don't know, but whatever it is, it's been dead a fortnight.
38:48Right, we'll have a quick shufti over the back,
38:50then we'll call it a night.
38:55(DOOR SLAMS)
38:58Some of these lorry drivers invite crime, don't they?
39:08(COUGHING)
39:11(SPLUTTERING)
39:22Ooh, ugh.
39:26(COUGHING)
39:31(LOUD MUSIC PLAYING)
39:37RODNEY: (WHISPERING) Denzil!
39:38(WHISPERING) Denzil!
39:40(MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)
39:43Denzil!
39:52Denzil!
39:53(SHOUTING) Denzil, Denzil!
39:55Oi! I'm... I'm in here.
39:57DEL: (SHOUTING) Denzil!
40:02Denzil, you plonker!
40:05RODNEY: Oh.
40:06(ENGINE SPUTTERING)
40:08Oh, come on, please!
40:12Please, I'll clean ya, I'll clean ya!
40:14(LOUD MUSIC PLAYING)
40:20(ENGINE STARTING)
40:30Denzil!
40:31Denzil, this is your friend speaking.
40:36DEL: Denzil!
40:38I'll do you when I get hold of you.
40:44Bloody hoax phone calls.
40:46My last case and I had to put up with jokers.
40:48Check your desk, Hoskins, we might have had some new reports.
40:52No, nothing yet, sir.
40:54I want a watch put on Boycie and Abdul.
40:56I want to know everywhere they go, everything they do.
40:59They've got to make their move soon.
41:01Who's the courier, Hoskins?
41:04I know who's putting the money up, what they're buying and who from.
41:07But I don't know who's bringing it in.
41:10Bound to be local, sir.
41:11Oh, yeah, wouldn't go far outside the parish,
41:14got to have someone they can trust.
41:15But who?
41:17It's a mystery, sir.
41:19No one's behaving in an unusual manner, well, no more unusual than normal.
41:25Everyone's just carrying on the same.
41:27Except the Trotters.
41:29Went round the estate their van's missing.
41:32Toured the area, no sign of it.
41:34Maybe it's been nicked, sir.
41:35Nicked?
41:37If someone's nicked that three-wheeled van of theirs
41:38we've got a dangerous maniac on our hands.
41:40(LAUGHING)
41:43Take your point, sir.
41:46Something's just struck me, Hoskins.
41:49Maybe we've been underestimating Del Boy.
41:52All these years he may have been fooling us
41:53with his nine carat gold and his wide-awake suits.
41:56I mean, Del Boy's well acquainted with the ways of this world.
42:00He knows all the wrinkles, he invented a lot of 'em himself.
42:04And his soppy brother's got GCEs.
42:07What you trying to say, sir?
42:09What I'm saying is, Hoskins,
42:12maybe them two's more intelligent than we've given 'em credit for.
42:16Yeah!
42:18It's all beginning to fit. The Dutch firm are the suppliers.
42:22Boycie and Abdul are the money men.
42:25And the Trotters...
42:27are the brains.
42:29-(LOUD MUSIC PLAYING) -Denzil!
42:34-(HORNS HONKING) -(TYRES SCREECHING)
42:38You could be right, sir.
42:40I was only joking, Hoskins.
42:42God's sake, ain't you got no sense of humour?
42:45-Sorry, sir. -(LAUGHING)
43:04(SHOUTING) Denzil.
43:06DEL: (BANGING) Denzil.
43:09Denzil, you git! You're dead!
43:12(LOUD MUSIC PLAYING)
43:17(CAR BACKFIRES)
43:20(RADIO JINGLE PLAYING)
43:21RADIO PRESENTER: Lots of music as always and this one is as a special request.
43:25For all you truckers listening in this morning.
43:28(COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING)
43:42Cheers.
43:58(CAR BACKFIRES)
44:01(CAR BACKFIRES)
44:09-That's a pound. -What?
44:11I said, that's a pound.
44:18I've got 75 pence.
44:20Well, that's not a pound, is it?
44:22Oh, no, but this has only got three wheels.
44:25That's only got two, but it's still a pound.
44:34Oh, and hey, be careful where you dump that thing will you?
44:37(CHUCKLES) Funny, innit. I'm laughing, look.
44:53-Here you are, love. -Thank you.
44:55-There's your tea, Denzil. -Ta.
44:58Don't you want that breakfast?
44:59Yeah, of course I do, just a bit drowsy that's all.
45:02You've been overworking, love.
45:04I've seen it before with you lorry drivers
45:06trying to work 25 hours a day.
45:08I know the money is good, lovey,
45:10but you'll get no overtime in the mortuary.
45:12I'm always like this after a night drive.
45:15You're looking tired, lovey,
45:17you're dark round the eyes.
45:19I'm dark around everywhere, Lil.
45:21Listen, don't you worry about me.
45:22I'm a big, strong lad you know, I'll prove it to you.
45:26I'm not talking about physical illness.
45:29There's no knowing what lack of sleep and overwork does to the brain.
45:34I've seen it happen to them, lovey.
45:37Seen what happen?
45:38Young fit men, went to pieces,
45:41started hearing things and seeing things.
45:44You slow down, lovey, or you'll go the same way.
45:52(ENGINE SPUTTERING)
46:27Del?
46:32Is that you, Rodney?
46:34Yeah, it's me.
46:36I knew you'd come and save me.
46:39You're a saint, Rodders.
46:41Oh, you're a 42-carat saint.
46:45Come on, let's get you out of here. Here you go.
46:48(GRUNTING)
46:51Oh, it's been a nightmare, Rodney. A bloody nightmare.
46:55Camp on Blood Island was a doddle compared with that.
46:58Look, do you want something to eat or a cup of tea?
47:01No. It's all right, we ain't got time for all that,
47:02we've got to get the aeroplane tickets and the lot ain't we, eh?
47:05Come on, let's go.
47:07Come on Rodney, come on.
47:08(BOAT HORN HOOTING)
47:12Where the bloody hell am I?
47:14RODNEY: Hull.
47:16Hull?
47:17(BIRDS SQUAWKING)
47:20What Hull in...
47:23what's its name?
47:24Yorkshire, yeah.
47:27What the bloody hell am I doing in Hull?
47:30Well this is where Denzil brought you, innit?
47:32He's most probably got a load to pick up.
47:34That bloody half-head Denzil, I'll get him, just see if I don't.
47:38Oi, don't you think you ought to rest, eh, get your strength back?
47:41No, I don't Rodney. Just get me back to Peckham as soon as possible.
47:45Otherwise, I'll be saying hey-up and breeding whippets
47:47before I'm very much older. Come on.
47:56(ENGINE SPUTTERING)
48:07Switch that off, Rodney and take a look.
48:12What?
48:14DEL: Boats.
48:15RODNEY: Oh, yeah.
48:16DEL: Big boats, little boats.
48:19Yeah, there's a red one, a white one, look.
48:24Don't you see, Rodney?
48:27See what?
48:28Slater has got all the airports covered. Why has he got all the airports covered?
48:32'Cause that's how he thinks that we're getting back into the country.
48:35Yeah.
48:37But that's how we are getting back in the country.
48:39Not any more we ain't, we're going by boat.
48:42Oh, yes, like it Derek.
48:46Yeah, we get the ferry.
48:50Not the ferry, you plonker.
48:53The Customs there are gonna be just as bad as they are at the airports.
48:58No, we're gonna sail across in our own little boat.
49:03Sorry?
49:05We're going to sail out of here to Holland and back again,
49:08and no one will be any the wiser.
49:11We...
49:13We are gonna...
49:14Us... In the sea?
49:17Yeah. Rodney, it's not far, look.
49:20It's only across the water there, look, innit, eh?
49:23I mean, I remember seeing it on the map, it's only, only that far.
49:27Derek, we'll die.
49:29No, it'll be a piece of cake.
49:31We'll be in and out of there like a sour plum.
49:34Del, we don't know the first thing about sailing a boat.
49:39Oh, Rodney, Rodney,
49:41use your filbert.
49:44I'm gonna get one with an engine.
50:25-Ahoy there, shipmate. -Morning.
50:28Any idea where I could hire a boat round here?
50:32-You want to hire a boat? -Yeah.
50:33-What kind of a boat? -Er, schooner.
50:36-Schooner? -With an engine.
50:39-Schooner with an engine? -Yeah.
50:42Follow me, shipmate.
50:44I might have just the thing for you.
50:46Oh? Tally-ho.
50:50DEL: Well, Rodney, what do you reckon?
50:53RODNEY: What... this boat's got woodworm.
50:58DEL: No, that's not woodworm, that's just... um...
51:01It's just... What is that?
51:04That's where the ropes have worn it away through the years.
51:06Just where the rope has worn it away through the years.
51:08It's sort of wear and tear, innit?
51:10We're supposed to sail to Holland in this thing?
51:13This is a sturdy vessel, sir, built of very mature timber.
51:18In other words, it's old.
51:19Well, the old 'uns are the best 'uns, Rodney.
51:21We're talking about boats now, Del, not your birds.
51:24Oi, don't push your luck, you saucy git.
51:27I'll leave you two alone to discuss it. I'll be over here.
51:31Yeah, okay, yes. Ahoy there, shipmate.
51:35Um, we'll be ashore in a minute.
51:38Yeah, we'll go ashore what, about seven bells, eh, Del?
51:41Er, will you pipe him ashore or shall I?
51:45I'm beginning to lose my temper, Rodney,
51:47you'll cop an unfortunate one in a minute.
51:53You're not really letting your boat out to them southern nancies, are you?
51:56-Oh, aye. -You'll never see it again.
52:01That vessel is worth £10,000.
52:03At least that's what it says on the insurance papers.
52:08Come on, Rodney. We can do it.
52:12You know, he who dares wins.
52:15Look, I got the right price from the owner and everything.
52:18Del, I'll tell you now there's no way us two
52:20can sail this thing to Holland and back.
52:23What? Us two?
52:25You think that... That we're going to sail it?
52:28Is that what you thought?
52:30That us pair of wallies are going to take this thing out on the high seas?
52:35Yeah.
52:37Of course we're not.
52:39No, I'm going to get us a skipper, an experienced man to do the sailing.
52:45So there's gonna be someone in charge?
52:47Of course there is.
52:50You didn't think I was gonna risk our lives, did you?
52:55Oh, come here, you dipstick.
52:58(TRAIN HORN HOOTING)
53:00RODNEY: Dear God.
53:03Oh, leave it out, Rodney.
53:04That is England's greatest little sailor since Nelson lost the Armada.
53:10Ahoy, there!
53:11Yeah, yeah, ship ahoy.
53:14Del, every single ship or vessel that man has ever sailed on has sunk.
53:18I know. Luck's got to change sometime, innit, Rodney?
53:21(CHUCKLING) All right, Uncle Albert?
53:23All shipshape and Bristol fashion.
53:25Got all the dialogue, ain't he? Good, good. Come on then.
53:28Right, now listen. Did you bring the passports?
53:30-In the old duffle bag. -Good. Good.
53:33Did you bring some clothes?
53:34I threw some of me old jumpers in.
53:35Lovely. Did you bring our clothes?
53:38Did you want me to bring you some then?
53:39Oh, what do you think I phoned up about?
53:42I thought you meant my clothes.
53:44We haven't had a wash or a change of clothes for two days now.
53:48Well, how am I supposed to know that?
53:49Well, it don't take a lot of working out, does it?
53:52-(BOTH SHOUTING) -Oi, you two.
53:55All right calm down, calm down.
53:58Don't worry. We'll sort something out.
54:01Right. Come on, skipper. let's show you your vessel.
54:04Yeah, I'd like to look her over, Del, make sure she meets with my approval.
54:10Bleeding shame if she don't because we sail in half an hour.
54:13(BOAT HORN HOOTING)
54:17DEL: Albert, slow down, you're going too fast.
54:20You're going too fast, slow down.
54:23Oh, right, right a bit.
54:26-Eh? -To your right.
54:28You mean starboard?
54:30I mean right.
54:31Don't start all that Captain Birdseye bloody cobblers.
54:34I said right.
54:36Go on, right.
54:39DEL: Now you've gone too far now, you're too far don't...
54:42Come on, come over to your left.
54:45Left.
54:46I said, I said left.
54:49That's portside.
54:50I'll come up there and punch you in the bloody nose in a minute.
54:53When I say left, I mean left.
54:58DEL: Mind, mind this little boat down there.
55:00Eh?
55:01Watch... Watch this little boat down...
55:04(LOUD BANG)
55:06(AIR HISSING)
55:08Sorry, shipmate.
55:10What did you say, pal?
55:13And to you, son.
55:16Cheeky git.
55:18All right. Come, come to your right again, Albert.
55:20You're doing very well.
55:24What are you doing up there? You got Saint Vitus Dance or what?
55:26Look, come right again.
55:29DENZIL: It's overwork, that's all.
55:31Too many hours in that lorry cab.
55:33All you need is a little relaxation and some fresh air, that's all.
55:44(BOAT ENGINE CHUGGING)
55:53Gordon Bennett!
55:58I'm sick.
55:59I'm sick.
56:03I feel sick, Del.
56:05What? Leave it out, you tart, we've only just started.
56:10That was only just a little ripple.
56:12Wait till we get out there on the big waves,
56:14we'll be going up and down and up and down.
56:20It'll be just like the big dipper, whoooo.
56:24Oh, God!
56:27That's it Rodney, go on cough it up, could be an ace.
56:32Oh, gets an old tingle running down the spine this, don't it?
56:36Ah. Well, it's in the blood, of course.
56:39Ah, this island race,
56:42this sceptic isle, yeah, us Brits,
56:47we've got salt water flowing through our veins.
56:49Oh, will you shut up about bloody veins!
56:54And when you think of all the English heroes
56:56that have set sail out of these waters
56:58to go and discover the new world and stitch the dagos up,
57:05makes you feel very, very proud.
57:16♪ Robin Hood, Robin Hood with his band of men
57:23♪ Robin Hood, Robin Hood
57:26♪ Riding through the glen
57:29♪ Feared by the good... ♪
57:34DEL: Do you have any idea where we are?
57:37ALBERT: Not really, Del, I never got the hang of these charts.
57:41Well, then how in God's name did you expect to get us across to Holland?
57:44Well, Del said it weren't all that far.
57:46Well, it ain't all that far if you're going in the right bleeding direction.
57:51We should have been in Holland five hours ago.
57:54Look at it, middle of the poxy bleeding night,
57:56and not a windmill anywhere.
57:58I thought you said that you could sail a boat.
58:00Well, it went, didn't it?
58:02I know it went. Yeah, it went all right, but where, eh?
58:06Look, Albert, where is our position?
58:10Well, we're, er, we're here, ain't we?
58:14Sort of.
58:17Oh, right.
58:19So, according to your calculations, we're just off the Strait of Gibraltar
58:23but we're also very close to Copenhagen.
58:26Well, it narrows it down a little bit, don't it?
58:29Yeah, the right ocean at least, ain't we?
58:32When I was in the navy, I was a boiler maintenance man.
58:36So, you've never actually studied navigation at all?
58:39Boiler maintenance men didn't have to.
58:41See the boiler has a tendency to go wherever the ship's going.
58:45Look, we can't be far away, can we?
58:47I mean, seemed to go pretty straight, didn't we?
58:51He's something else, ain't he?
58:53What about the currents they got around here, eh?
58:55We could have drifted anywhere by now.
58:57Yes, he's right and all, ain't he?
59:00We're in the middle of the North Sea, ain't we?
59:02It's got more currents than a hot-cross bun.
59:05Let's not panic, eh,
59:06we'll wait till the morning, bound to see something.
59:09Oh, yeah, we'll keep our eyes peeled for tulips,
59:13listen out for the sound of clogs.
59:20Stars.
59:22-What? -The stars.
59:25Stars?
59:27You don't need to read your horoscope, Rodney,
59:30to realise you're in dead lumber.
59:31Them stars.
59:34You can steer a ship by the stars.
59:39He's right, and all.
59:41I remember seeing it once in The Odenin Line.
59:43That's a bloody good idea Rodney, yeah.
60:00There's millions of them, ain't there?
60:04I love him, I just bloody love him.
60:12Isn't there anything up there that rings a bell?
60:15I'm not quite sure what I'm supposed to be looking for.
60:19They've all got names, ain't they?
60:21Like The Bear, things like that.
60:24Can't you just find The Bear?
60:27Well, what does it look like?
60:29Well, it looks like a bloody rabbit, don't it?
60:30I mean, what do you think a bear looks like?
60:32Well, where would I find it?
60:34Standing up there on top of the glacier mint.
60:37You're giving me the hump, you are Albert,
60:39you're giving me the right hump.
60:40(AEROPLANE DRONES OVERHEAD)
60:41-Look! -What?
60:44Up there, it's Concorde.
60:48So?
60:50I'm just saying... Concorde.
60:57I'm going to kill him!
60:59-I'm gonna kill him the soppy old git. -(SHOUTS)
61:01-I'm going to kill you... -Del, leave him alone.
61:04(SHOUTING)
61:05ALBERT: Rodney! Rodney! DEL: I've had enough of you.
61:22Here we go, Rodders, here's your tea.
61:25Sorry I spilt it. Any luck?
61:27No, not a thing. Where's Ahab?
61:30Oh, he's down below in the cabin poncing about with the radio.
61:33It's all crackles and hisses and Dogger Bank, can't be doing with it.
61:37Well, at least he's doing something positive
61:39to get us out of this mess.
61:40Positive? He's trying to get the Kid Jensen Show.
61:47-Where are them binoculars? -There.
61:53Ahoy!
61:56Full ahead both, Mr Christian.
61:59Why?
62:00We're going to Holland, Rodders. We're going to Holland.
62:03(WHISTLING)
62:13Hoy, hoy, John!
62:18Holland?
62:20What?
62:21Which way to Holland?
62:23Holland?
62:26It's over there.
62:28Cheers, pal.
62:31Albert, it's to the right.
62:34Holland is that way.
62:37Thank you!
62:41Rodney see, you don't know the way, you just got to ask someone, ain't you?
62:47♪ Hey, diddley-dee a sailor's life for me ♪
62:51(BOAT ENGINE CHUGGING)
62:53ABDUL: What is the time?
62:55What you keep asking me for? You got a watch of your own, haven't you?
62:57Yes, but it hasn't worked properly since Del sold it to me.
63:02It's 1 0:55, that's 11 :55 their time.
63:05The exchange doesn't take place till midday.
63:08So just calm down, will ya?
63:09(SCOFFS) Calm down, he says.
63:12I'm becoming rather concerned about this whole affair.
63:14What is worrying you now?
63:17You know perfectly well what's worrying me.
63:19What happens if Van Kleefe discovers
63:20the £50,000 is all counterfeit money?
63:22How is he gonna do that? He's a Dutchman.
63:25He wouldn't know a dodgy English tenner from a real one.
63:27Not immediately, perhaps. But in time, he may.
63:30We have discussed this time and time again.
63:34The first thing Van Kleefe is gonna do is launder that money.
63:37He's then gonna exchange it at safe houses for Dutch notes.
63:41It will then be exchanged time and time again,
63:43pass through many hands
63:45until some smart arse discovers it's worthless.
63:47But by then, it'll be too late 'cause they won't know who gave it to them.
63:53-Del may notice they're fakes. -I shouldn't think so.
63:56In any case, he's hardly gonna voice his doubts with Van Kleefe
63:59with his heavies in close attendance, is he?
64:03It's a minute to go. I wonder if he's there yet.
64:07RODNEY: Where are we then?
64:08DEL: It's obvious, innit, eh?
64:10We're in Bulgaria.
64:13I know that, I know where we are.
64:15What I meant was... Well, where are we?
64:19This is the North Sea Canal, Rodney.
64:21Takes us right into the heart of Amsterdam.
64:23Yeah, just don't act suspicious, Rodney,
64:26just let's pretend we're Dutchmen, right?
64:32Ajax!
64:33(BOAT ENGINE CHUGGING)
64:38It's one minute past time. Why ain't he rung?
64:40Maybe they've sunk!
64:41No, no, they've got their Uncle Albert with them.
64:45Yeah, maybe they have sunk!
64:47(PHONE RINGING)
64:49Hello?
64:51Oh, hello, Mr Biggastaff.
64:54You bought a car of us when?
64:57Well, I don't care if you are broken down on the A1,
65:00what do you expect me to do about it?
65:02Well, my advice to you, pal is shove it.
65:06No, this is not Mr Boyce speaking, this is his public relations officer.
65:11(TRADITIONAL DUTCH MUSIC PLAYING)
65:41(CLEARS THROAT) You stay down here, all right?
65:43-Why? -Mmm?
65:44'Cause we don't know what sort of welcome we're gonna get there, do we?
65:47Might turn very nasty.
65:49Oi, listen, Del, if there's gonna be any trouble
65:50-I want to be up there with you. -I want you to stay down here, Rodney.
65:53First sign of any trouble from up there, now, you leg it.
65:56-No way... -Shh, Rodney.
65:57You, keep your eye on him.
65:59-Make sure he stays down here. -All right, Del.
66:01It's for the best, son.
66:03(CHURCH BELL RINGING)
66:21(CLEARS THROAT)
66:27(NERVOUSLY) Good afternoon.
66:29Derek Trotter from London.
66:40Um, good afternoon, Mr Van Kleefe.
66:43My name is Derek Trotter.
66:46Sorry I'm a bit late.
66:47I had a bit of bother as you can probably see.
66:50Not a worry, Mr Trotter, you're here now.
66:54This is Mr Hussein, Abdul's cousin.
66:57And these two gentlemen are my assistants.
67:01He's a big lad, ain't he? (CHUCKLES)
67:02Suppose it's all that cheese he eats, is it? (CHUCKLING)
67:05(MUTTERS NERVOUSLY)
67:08(CLEARS THROAT)
67:12-Do you have the money, Mr Trotter? -Yes, I have the money, Mr Van Kleefe.
67:16Do you have the diamonds?
67:18Yes, I have the diamonds.
67:30If you'll examine them,
67:32I'll make the phone call.
67:41(TELEPHONE RINGS)
67:42Hello?
67:44Oh, good afternoon, Mr Van Kleefe.
67:47(WHISPERS) It's him.
67:48Your man has arrived.
67:52Of course.
67:54He wants to talk to you.
68:14-Hello, Boycie. -Everything all right, Del?
68:17Yeah, couldn't be better.
68:20Is my cousin there?
68:22Is Abdul's cousin there?
68:24Yeah. He's checking the merchandise now.
68:26These are blue white stones,
68:28purity, absolutely clean, cut by experts.
68:31They are of the finest quality.
68:35He says they're pucker.
68:36(WHISPERING) The stones are good.
68:40Okay, Del,
68:42I'm now going to give you the combination to the briefcase.
68:48It's seven-one-four...
68:51Seven-one-four...
68:55Nine-three-nine.
68:58Nine-three-nine.
69:43Good.
69:44(EXHALES)
69:47I believe these are yours, Mr Trotter.
69:50Thank you very much.
69:52Boycie, we got a deal.
69:54Good, no problems?
69:57No, everything went as sweet as a nut.
70:01-I'll see you soon. -Yeah.
70:03Don't forget now, will you?
70:05I'll give you a bell.
70:08-Will you be needing me any longer? -No, no, on your way, pal.
70:13The exchange is completed.
70:18Thank you, it's nice to do business with you as well.
70:24DEL: Well, must fly.
70:26See you soon, Mr Van Kleefe.
70:28Good day, Mr Trotter, and good luck.
70:31Thank you.
70:34Ajax.
70:44(SIGHS)
70:45The courier has just left.
70:48Should be with you soon.
70:51Trotter. Derek Trotter.
71:07All right, Del?
71:08Terrific. Well, gentlemen...
71:10-Del. -Mmm?
71:17-Leg it! -Let's go!
71:32(CYCLE BELL RINGING)
71:34(GRUNTING)
71:35(ALBERT SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)
71:45(LAUGHING)
71:47(SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)
71:57(PANTING)
71:59-I can't go on. -Come on, Albert, come on.
72:03Come on, we got to keep going.
72:05You two go on, go on, I'll be all right. (GRUNTS)
72:09Yeah, all right, come on, Del.
72:11Rodney, come on. We can't leave him.
72:13Oh, why not? He's got nothing incriminating on him.
72:15Hey, now, come on,
72:17you can't leave the poor old sod to face the music, can you?
72:20(ALBERT GASPING)
72:21All right, all right, look, look, hands up, no rough stuff, eh?
72:28(OFFICER SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)
72:30OFFICER: Yeah?
72:33You dozy little twonk, Rodney,
72:37what did you shout run for?
72:40Hey, it weren't me, it was him.
72:43(GASPING) Del shouted run.
72:45No, I didn't, it was nothing to do with me.
72:47Yes, you did, I heard you.
72:49I come out the building, didn't I?
72:51-I was doing all the main... -(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
73:04You called, sir?
73:09We've got our man, Hoskins!
73:15Del?
73:17But how did you find out, sir?
73:18I've got a funny feeling in my water.
73:20Remember what happened last time I had that funny feeling?
73:22Oh, you mean the antibiotics?
73:24No, I don't mean that.
73:26I'm talking about the time I nicked that little Paki gang
73:28for bringing in cocaine mixed with curry powder.
73:30Oh, yeah, that was a good hunch of yours, sir.
73:33Have a look at this.
73:36I've got Davis and Skinner covering Luton Airport,
73:38there's a ten-man team at Heathrow,
73:40you and me are at Gatwick.
73:43Right, Hoskins, I'm going to teach you
73:45the basic rules of airport surveillance
73:48Remember patience, Hoskins,
73:50be prepared for a long, long wait.
73:55Also, suspect everyone.
73:59What's the most important thing we have to do, Hoskins?
74:03Uh, I don't know, sir.
74:09Oh, yeah, wear sombreros.
74:13What do I look like?
74:16Uh...
74:18Uh, carry on, sir.
74:19I look like an ordinary holidaymaker, don't I?
74:21Oh, I see, blend into the surroundings.
74:24The first rule of surveillance is,
74:28don't look conspicuous.
74:32We'll have to get you something, Hoskins, you look a right tit!
74:39DEL: How can we be lost again?
74:42I thought you'd know the way by now!
74:44So did I!
74:46It all looks the same to me!
74:49-I feel sick. -Oh, shut up, Rodney!
74:53Look, why can't we just go back the way we came?
74:57That's what I've been trying to do!
75:00Del, there's a ship.
75:02Oh, well, that's a turn up for the book, innit, eh?
75:05This is the last place you'd expect to find a ship.
75:08ALBERT: Oh...
75:10It's the Norland.
75:11It's the Norland!
75:13So what?
75:15The Norland, we saw that back in port
75:18just before we left England.
75:20Del, that's the Zeebrugge to Hull ferry!
75:24All right, so it's the Zeebrugge to Hull...
75:26The Zee... Ah!
75:29Good boy, Rodney, well spotted.
75:32-Albert! -Yeah?
75:33Follow that boat!
75:39(SIGHS)
75:404:00, they're still not back.
75:43It's not 4:00, it's 12:30.
75:50Bloody watch.
75:51They're still a day late though, something has gone wrong.
75:54Del phoned me this morning at 7:30.
75:57He's back in England.
75:58They even got through Customs without a hitch.
76:01They probably got held up on the way h...
76:03(CAR SPUTTERING)
76:08It's them.
76:18Let Popeye out the back, will you, Rodney?
76:27-Where the hell have you... -All right, all right, all right.
76:30Had a little bit of trouble, you know,
76:33got lost in the middle of the North Sea.
76:36Then Rodney spotted the Zeebrugge to Hull ferry so we followed it.
76:40And that's how you got to Hull?
76:42No, that is how we got to Zeebrugge.
76:44It was going the wrong bloody way,
76:47So we had to wait for it to turn around and then, we followed it back.
76:50Okay, well, you're here now anyway.
76:58Okay, you got the diamonds?
77:01You got the money?
77:08Here's your money.
77:10Now, put it on the table.
77:12-Oh, Del, Del... -On the table, on the table.
77:31Buenos dias.
77:32Bloody hell, Slater!
77:35(CLAMOURING)
77:37Rodney, quick this way, out the back.
77:40Quick, let's get to the...
77:51They're pretty, ain't they?
77:53Um...
77:56-Inspector Slater. -Chief Inspector.
77:59My apologies, Chief Inspector,
78:03couldn't we discuss this in a civilised and gentlemanly manner?
78:06What's to discuss? I've got you bang to rights.
78:11Oh, phew.
78:14You smell like a mackerel trawler.
78:16So would you if you spent half the week in the middle of the North Sea.
78:20Oh, so you came in by sea, did you?
78:21I just spent 18 hours waiting at Gatwick Airport for you.
78:24Who is this little person?
78:26Don't tell me, you're a Trotter, ain't ya?
78:28I'm the boys' Uncle.
78:29Yeah, you can see the family resemblance.
78:31It's those shifty little rodent eyes and the furtive movement of the feet.
78:35Dead giveaway.
78:37This is a very sad day for me.
78:40My very last case and I have to nick two of me old school friends.
78:44Still never mind, eh?
78:49Thirty, spot on.
78:54Roy... (CHUCKLES)
78:57Give us a break, will ya?
79:00Wasn't us that smuggled those diamonds in.
79:05It was Del Boy.
79:08Yes, he's right, Chief Inspector,
79:09it was nothing to do with us, it was them three.
79:13No, no, no, it was just me, Slater.
79:16No, I was the brains behind it.
79:22Oh, all right then.
79:26It is tearing me apart to see you lot squirming like this.
79:31What am I to do?
79:37-Away you go, Parker. -Yes, sir.
79:41All right.
79:43I've reached a decision.
79:45There are two ways we can handle this unfortunate situation.
79:48One, I take you all down the nick with the evidence
79:52and see you banged up for five years apiece,
79:54or two, I walk out of here and pretend it never happened.
79:58Yeah, that sounds a good scheme, Roy, let's pretend it never happened.
80:02(CHUCKLES)
80:04Yes, yes, I will go along with that.
80:07What do you think, Del Boy?
80:09I think something smells very fishy around here
80:12and it ain't just these clothes.
80:15How come you knew there were 30 diamonds in that bag?
80:18Yeah, and how come you knew who was involved right from the start?
80:22Just a minute.
80:24When we were in the cafe the other day, that bloke you was telling us about
80:27that you couldn't nick for smuggling diamonds
80:28'cause of lack of evidence, what was his name?
80:30-You mean Hendrik? -Yeah.
80:33His surname wouldn't have been Van Kleefe by any chance, would it?
80:37You found me out, you rascal.
80:40What? You and Van Kleefe?
80:43That's right.
80:45He offered me a little business deal.
80:47He sets up a bunch of wallies who are greedy enough
80:49to smuggle diamonds into the country,
80:50and I pick them up this side of the water.
80:53Not only do we get paid at both ends,
80:56you take all the risks.
80:58Brilliant, isn't it?
81:00It's the third time we've pulled it off
81:02and there is nothing you can do about it.
81:05Unless, of course, you fancy a spell in the Scrubs.
81:09Well, gentlemen, I think we've concluded our business, don't you?
81:15Ain't you going to wish me good luck for the future?
81:18No?
81:20Oh, well, win some, lose some.
81:22(LAUGHS MANIACALLY)
81:25I hope we bump into each other one of these days, Slater.
81:28I don't think so, Del Boy,
81:30I'm going a long way away from here.
81:34Cheer up, lads. You still got your freedom.
81:41You berk, Abdul!
81:43How was I to know Van Kleefe was a crook?
81:45Bloody foreigner.
81:52Where are you going, Del?
81:55Where am I going?
81:57I'm going where I should have stayed right at the bloody start.
82:01Going home.
82:02Look, don't, don't get the hump with us. We ain't done nothing.
82:06You ain't done nothing?
82:08You sent me halfway around the world,
82:10I've been to Amsterdam, I've been to Hull and back!
82:15For what?
82:16Slater's taken the diamonds, he's taken the money.
82:20On top of all that my two mates have grassed me up.
82:24We weren't actually grassing you.
82:26No, no, no, no, it was more of a diversary tactic.
82:30Yeah, to divert the blame from yourselves.
82:37Come on, Rodney.
82:39Albert, let's go home.
82:57I can't understand, sir,
82:59not a single clue to the diamonds' whereabouts.
83:02Not a thing, they were all as clean as whistles.
83:04This is the third time we've followed these diamonds,
83:07and this is the third time we've drawn a blank.
83:10That's the way it goes in this game.
83:12Maybe I'm past it, Hoskins,
83:14my hunches don't seem to pay off any more.
83:17Just as well I'm taking early retirement.
83:20Do you know what I think?
83:22No, and to be honest, I'm not really interested,
83:24you're not paid to think, Hoskins,
83:26you're paid to do your job, now drive me home.
83:28Yes, sir.
83:32Where are you going, Hoskins, this isn't the way to my house?
83:34HOSKINS: No, I know it isn't, sir.
83:36SLATER: What's all this?
83:40They've known about you for a long time.
83:44And they just couldn't catch you in possession till now, sir.
83:49You've set me up.
83:51You set yourself up, sir.
83:53Look, Hoskins,
83:55Terrance, use your loaf,
83:58help me out of this and I'll make you a rich man.
84:01The money from them other diamonds is in a bank account,
84:04I'll let you have half.
84:07What do you think?
84:08You seem to forget, sir,
84:10I don't think,
84:12I only do my job.
84:21(CHURCH BELL RINGING)
84:43I think we should phone the police.
84:45Phone the police?
84:46Oh, yeah?
84:48And what are we going to tell them?
84:50A bent copper disguised as the Cisco Kid stole our smuggled diamonds.
84:55Yeah, you have a point.
84:57Well, anyway at least the only money we lost was counterfeit.
85:00Apart from the 15 grand Slater half-inched.
85:05You mean that was real?
85:08I drew it out the bank Friday.
85:12I didn't intend to pay Del Boy funny money,
85:15I ain't into plastic surgery.
85:19I am gutted.
85:22Gutted.
85:29-Del? -All right, all right, hold on a minute.
85:36Oi, listen, you two,
85:38this hasn't turned out as bad as you think.
85:41-Hasn't turned out as bad as we think. -(BOTH LAUGHING)
85:44It's turned out bloody well, Rodney.
85:47Albert, pour the drinks.
85:49What do you want, Rodney?
85:50Well, an explanation would be nice.
85:57Listen to me.
85:58You know that fifty grand that we took over to Amsterdam?
86:00-Hmm. -It was counterfeit.
86:03It was counterfeit?
86:06And you knew?
86:07Well, not till I opened the case in Van Kleefe's office, I didn't.
86:11There's one thing I do know about, Rodney, and that is kosher readies.
86:14(CHUCKLING) Oh, cheers.
86:16And you didn't tell no one?
86:18Oh, yes, I said, "Excuse me, Mr Van Kleefe,
86:21"all that money, it's Mickey Mouse money."
86:23Of course I didn't, I just stood there and prayed,
86:25'course me old apron was going like a moped.
86:27Fortunately, he gave the money to these two gorillas to check,
86:30and, well, they were about as bright as an eclipse.
86:32(LAUGHS)
86:35So Boycie and Abdul sent us over there with fake money?
86:39-Mmm-hmm. -Right.
86:40We're going to get even with them for that, ain't we?
86:42We already have, Rodney, eh?
86:45Go on Albert, show him.
86:47Hold your hand out.
86:58They're real, ain't they?
87:00They're top of the range, my son,
87:02blue-white purity, absolutely clean,
87:05they are as they say in France, chasse de forme.
87:10Eh, no, hold on,
87:12Slater picked up 30 diamonds.
87:14No, he didn't, he took 28 diamonds
87:17and two cat's eyes.
87:21Oh, Derek, oh, who's a pretty boy, then?
87:27They're worth about five grand each.
87:30Well, by the time we've put them through the fence,
87:32we'll get, what, six grand for the pair.
87:34Six thousand pounds split three ways means
87:38that you two get one thousand pounds each in your skies?
87:41Yeah!
87:44Eh?
87:46Well actually, we got slightly more than that, Derek.
87:48Hmm? What do you mean?
87:49You know that 15 grand that went missing?
87:51It didn't go missing, that bark, Slater picked it up, didn't he?
87:54Oh, Slater didn't pick it up.
87:57-Hmm? -I did.
88:04You crafty little sod, Rodney.
88:07Well, you know, it was just there lying on the table
88:10and in all that confusion when we tried to escape,
88:13I could just hear it saying,
88:14"Daddy, Daddy."
88:17-(CHUCKLES) -So I picked it up.
88:21You know what we're going to do with this money, Rodney?
88:23Yes, we'll invest it, we'll make it work for us,
88:27this time next year we'll be millionaires!
88:30Or shall we go to Benidorm?
88:32No, I'll show you what we're going to do with it.
88:51For a minute I thought he threw that 15 grand out the window.
88:56No, don't be silly, Unc,
88:58I mean who'd do a silly thing like that.
89:07It was Boycie's money, weren't it?
89:09It was fake, dud, counterfeit.
89:13But...
89:14It looked genuine enough to me
89:16'cause you know, it had all the little watermarks in it
89:18and the little silver strips and everything.
89:21Oh, leave it out, Rodney,
89:23what do you think I am, eh, some sort of wally?
89:29(CLOSING THEME SONG PLAYING)
89:32♪ We've got some half price cracked ice
89:34♪ And miles and miles of carpet tiles
89:35♪ TVs, deep freeze and David Bowie LPs
89:39♪ Ball games, gold chains, what's-er-names and at a push
89:41♪ Some Trevor Francis track-suits
89:43♪ From a mush in Shepherds Bush
89:45♪ Bush, Bush, Bush Bush, Bush, Bush, Bush
89:47♪ No income tax, no V-A-T
89:50♪ No money back, no guarantee
89:54♪ Black or white rich or broke
89:57♪ We'll cut prices at a stroke
90:01♪ God bless Hooky Street
90:04♪ Viva Hooky Street
90:08♪ Long live Hooky Street
90:10♪ C' est magnifique Hooky Street
90:14♪ Magnifique Hooky Street
90:18♪ Hooky Street
90:21♪ Hooky Street
90:25♪ Hooky Street ♪