Only Fools and Horses S00E07 — The Frogs Legacy

Every line from “The Frogs Legacy” (1324 quotes). Click one to open the meme editor on the exact frame, ready to caption and share.

00:00(upbeat theme music)
00:03♫ Stick a pony in me pocket
00:06♫ I'll fetch the suitcase from the van
00:10♫ Cause if you want the best ones
00:13♫ But you don't ask questions
00:14♫ Then brother, I'm your man
00:18♫ Cause where it all comes from is a mystery
00:22♫ It's like the changing of the seasons
00:24♫ And the tides of the sea
00:26♫ But here's the one that's driving me berserk
00:29♫ Why do only fools and horses work
00:33♫ La la la la
00:35♫ La la la la
00:36♫ La la la la
00:38♫ La la la la
00:41-[Del] Michael, Michael.
00:44Mike.
00:44- What is it now?
00:45-[Del] Here, here, here.
00:48This is your lucky night.
00:50Now how's that for a portable computer, eh?
00:53Look at that.
00:54It's got 64K.
00:56It's got UHF output.
00:58It's got a megabyte disc drive.
01:00It's got ROM.
01:01It's got RAM.
01:01It's got them little red and green lights.
01:03It's got everything.
01:05- What do I want with a computer, Del?
01:06- What does he want with a computer?
01:08Everyone's got a computer these days.
01:10- Have you got one?
01:11- Have I got one?
01:12- He's got 25.
01:16- Yes, thank you, Rodney.
01:17Thank you very much.
01:19Listen, listen to me.
01:21This particular model
01:22normally retails at 399 pounds on the realm.
01:28I'm giving it to you at 150.
01:30And I'm going to throw in a free joystick.
01:33This thing, it processes all your data.
01:36- Oh yeah yeah,
01:36and what exactly does that mean?
01:37- What exactly does that mean?
01:39What do you mean what does it--
01:40Are you dim or something?
01:41Tell him what it means Rodney.
01:44You see he did a course in this
01:45and he came top of the class, didn't he?
01:46Go on, tell him.
01:50- Well it's in layman's terms, right?
01:54(music playing in background)
01:56You can record all your business deals on it.
01:59- Oh great.
02:00I spend half me life trying to hide me business deals.
02:02The last thing I need is to have them all recorded
02:04on a floppy blood disc.
02:06I'm not interested.
02:07Why don't you ask Trigger, okay?
02:08- Trigger, with a computer?
02:11Do me a favor.
02:12He's still struggling with light switches.
02:19- Hey try that Albert.
02:23- Last time I tasted something like that
02:25was when I was in Egypt.
02:27- Yeah, what was it?
02:28A local brew?
02:29- No, I fell in the Nile.
02:31- Hey, Mike, I ordered beer.
02:34- Don't try to be funny with me, Trig.
02:36I'll tell you this much.
02:36I've had certificates for my beer.
02:38- Yeah I've had a few days off work with it and all.
02:43- I don't know these bloody computers.
02:46I bought 30 of them and I've only sold five.
02:48- Oh that's not too bad, Del.
02:49- Not too bad?
02:50Not too bad?
02:51I've had them a year and a half.
02:53- Our sales campaign suffered badly
02:55when the local officer of fair trading announced
02:57to the press that they don't work.
02:59- They do work, Rodney.
03:01They just need a bit of fiddling about with.
03:02That's all.
03:03- They don't work properly.
03:05- Do you know about this sort of thing then, Dave?
03:07- Well, yes, as it happens I do.
03:09Recently I took a computer course
03:11at the adult education center.
03:13- And failed.
03:14- I did not fail.
03:15- What, you passed?
03:17- I didn't strictly pass either.
03:20The man in charge right, he said not in so many words,
03:22that I should concentrate more on the theoretical side
03:25rather than the actual keyboard area.
03:27- What he actually said was
03:28keep your bloody hands off my machine.
03:31- Thank you for being so encouraging, Del.
03:34But I tell you, if I could pass that course
03:35and get my diploma, I might be able to get a real job,
03:38working as a real company employee.
03:40Instead of hanging around with the deadly duo.
03:42You and that suitcase.
03:44- Oy, just watch it.
03:45- You know what he's had me doing today?
03:47Look, this is one of those infrared massages, right.
03:50Cures rheumatics and all that sort of game.
03:52He's had me hobbling through the market
03:53like I've got bad lumbago, right?
03:56And then he hangs trotter, spots me,
03:59and cures me in front of all the punters.
04:02He used to be a cowboy.
04:03Now he's a medicine man.
04:06- Oh shut up, you tart.
04:08You're just knocked because you had a hole in your vest.
04:11Listen I can't hang about here.
04:14Do you remember that chop suey that's down by the station.
04:15The one we decorated?
04:16- Yeah.
04:17- It's gone bust.
04:18And they're auctioning all their gear tonight
04:20so I'm going to have a sniff around, alright?
04:21See you later.
04:22- Yeah, alright.
04:24- Oh my god.
04:25- Mr. Trotter.
04:27- Oh, Mr. Jahan, what a pleasant surprise.
04:30What brings you in?
04:31- That computer you sold me last month is still not working.
04:34(Mike laughing)
04:36- There must be some simple explanation.
04:38Why don't we sit down and discuss it over a drink.
04:40Now listen, what can I get you?
04:42- Okay, something non-alcoholic.
04:44- Non-alcoholic.
04:45Michael, pint of your best bitter please.
04:50- I have a business to run, Mr. Trotter.
04:52When I bought the computer at your suggestion
04:55in order to streamline my business.
04:57So far your computer has managed to destroy my accounts,
05:01my stock records, and set fire to my curtains.
05:05- You must be pressing the wrong button, Mr. Jahan.
05:08We are talking outer limits high tech here.
05:11I mean that computer was used in the American space shuttle.
05:14- But it blew up.
05:18- I don't mean it was the same computer.
05:21Although that would explain why it isn't working too well.
05:24No no no no, just trust me, Mr. Jahan.
05:27Give it a bit of time and I guarantee to you
05:28that in a few days time,
05:29you'll wonder how you ever managed without it.
05:32- Alright, I'll give it one week.
05:33Then I'll be back to see you.
05:34- That's the spirit, Mr. Jahan.
05:36You know it makes sense.
05:37Ah, thank you, Michael.
05:39I'll see you later.
05:41Anyway, I thought that young fellow you had working for you
05:43was a bit of a computer boffit.
05:45- Oh he has resigned.
05:47Said the work did not agree with him.
05:49- Oh I don't know.
05:50Half of them they don't know they're born these days,
05:51do they?
05:52- I have placed ads in the local paper and at the job center
05:55but all to no avail.
05:57It's not a difficult job and I pay good wages.
06:04- Yeah, that's going to be difficult for you, Mr. Jahan.
06:07I mean you're looking for a young man
06:08with drive and enthusiasm, aren't you?
06:10- No, not really.
06:13- I mean a couple of GCE's wouldn't a mistake, would they?
06:15- Ah there's no necessity for all this.
06:17All what I'm looking for is somebody who can walk.
06:21- So I mean you're talking top notch.
06:24Most people of that caliber have gone off
06:25with the brain drain.
06:27No no, it's going to be a difficult one.
06:28And that Mr. Jahan, I can tell you--
06:30But wait a minute, oh pot pourri.
06:32Pot pourri, of course.
06:36This must be your lucky night, Mr. Jahan.
06:38I may have the very person you're looking for.
06:40- Really, who?
06:41- Only my younger brother.
06:43No, he's enthusiastic and he's got GCE's in maths and art.
06:48Well since he came back from Cambridge,
06:50he's been wheeling and dealing in the commodities market.
06:53And all the headhunters have been after him you know.
06:55Right from the Bank of England, right down to ICI.
06:58But he fancies something a bit more local.
07:00- Can he walk?
07:01- Walk, yes, he dashes about all over the place.
07:03- Can he discuss it with me then?
07:05- No no, I'll discuss it with you.
07:06How much are you offering?
07:07- A hundred.
07:08- Del boy's got something going over there.
07:11- Oh, that means somebody's going to suffer.
07:16- Talking of suffering,
07:17my niece is getting married next Saturday.
07:21Well you remember little Lisa, don't you?
07:22She came up last year.
07:24She was the one who arranged
07:25for Del boy to have a go on a hanglider.
07:28- Oh yeah.
07:31I liked her.
07:35- Well she's invited you all
07:36down to Hampshire for the wedding.
07:38- Well that's very nice of her, Trig.
07:39You tell her I'll be delighted.
07:40- You two are coming.
07:41Del's accepted for you.
07:43- He's accepted?
07:44He's something else, isn't he, eh?
07:46Hold on, I thought Lisa was getting married last year.
07:49- Yeah she was.
07:50And then she found out that she wasn't.
07:55- Oh.
08:01- What?
08:04- Got pinched with a bit of paper, mate.
08:07- Oh.
08:09- Well now she's found out she is again.
08:12Should be good though.
08:13Day down by the coast.
08:14Nice little drink afterwards.
08:16Talking of drinks, I'll get these in.
08:21- Rodney, this must be your lucky night.
08:24I've only been and got you a job.
08:25- I don't want it.
08:27- What do you mean you don't want it?
08:29You've only just said you'd like to get a job.
08:30- Yeah and not from him.
08:32I've had some of his little jobs in the past.
08:34And I'm here to tell you, he is not Brook Street bureau.
08:37- Oh that's charming that, innit?
08:39It's charming.
08:41That is all the thanks I get
08:43after all the work and effort I've done.
08:45That is the thanks I get.
08:46Well, anyway, it wasn't just a job.
08:48It was a career move.
08:50- Well I haven't got a career.
08:51- No but you would have had one
08:52and it would have been moving.
08:54Besides that would have had some wages coming in the flat.
08:56We're brastic at the moment.
08:58- Well I notice some of your money saving devices
09:00are in evidence again.
09:03So what's this job then?
09:04- You're not interested, Rodney, are you?
09:05So it's purely academic innit, eh?
09:10- What sort of job was it, Del?
09:12- He would have been a trainee computer programmer,
09:16eventually.
09:19And it was mentioned that the successful candidate
09:21would with endeavor attain executive status.
09:27- Oh hold on, I thought it was going to be,
09:30you know dumping boxes around, stuff like that.
09:32I didn't know I was going to be a trainee executive.
09:34- No no no, he mentioned your CV.
09:38How bad is that eh?
09:39Nice little Citroen.
09:45- He might have been referring to my curriculum vitae.
09:49- Oh that's no problem.
09:50There's no heavy lifting involved.
09:54- I mean you'd have to start at the bottom though.
09:56- Of course but doing what?
09:58- Well it's sort of delivering.
10:00Delivering, yeah, basically.
10:01Just to start with.
10:02And it's 90 quid cash in hand, no tax, no nonsense.
10:06- No, hold on, if I'm working cash in hand
10:07I'm not a real employee.
10:09- Yes you will be because that's only temporary.
10:11That it.
10:13What do you say?
10:13Come on.
10:14- But where would I be working?
10:17- Well you know that big new office block
10:18down in Wilmont Road?
10:19The one with the smoke glass and the leery cars.
10:21- Where all them young birds come out of at lunch time?
10:24- Yeah, that's the one.
10:26- I know it.
10:27- Well right opposite it is an alley.
10:32- An alley?
10:32- Yes, between the undertakers
10:34and the Light of Nepal restaurant.
10:37So you go down that alley, right,
10:38and then you find a yard.
10:39Now you pop your head in there on Monday morning
10:41and you ask for a Mr. Jahan.
10:43He will give you your duties and your uniform.
10:45And good lord, is that the time?
10:46I've got to get down to Jinkies.
10:47I'll see you later.
10:50Thanks for all the drinks, good night.
10:52- Why would a trainee computer programmer need a uniform?
10:56- Dunno.
10:57(laughing)
11:01- I don't know what you're laughing.
11:03You see what this means?
11:05You've just been promoted to the geezer in the market
11:07with the bad back.
11:08(Rodney laughing)
11:11(bottle popping)
11:13(soft classical music)
11:19- Hello.
11:21- Congratulations, Lisa.
11:22- Thanks.
11:23- And to you too, Andrew.
11:24My very best wishes for many years of happiness.
11:27And who knows a year or two from now,
11:28we could be back in the church
11:29celebrating the christening of your first born.
11:33- Actually my mother wants to have a word with you
11:35about that.
11:36- Oh?
11:37Oh.
11:39Yes, I see.
11:43- Oh excuse me.
11:44Vicar, Vic.
11:45Vic.
11:47- Ah, Mr. Trotter, how nice.
11:49Thank you once again for your lift.
11:50- Oh bane Marie, bane Marie.
11:52It was the least that I could do.
11:54Sorry that it was a bit bumpy
11:55but at least we didn't have far to go, did we?
11:57Oh that reminds me, you know the computer
12:00that I was talking about?
12:01I left it for you in your vestry.
12:03- You left it in my vestry?
12:04- Yes, it's alright.
12:05I had to take it out the back of the van anyways
12:07to get you in, didn't I?
12:09Listen, just in case the old bishop asks,
12:13now they normally retail at 399
12:16but you can have it at one and half.
12:18And a pony off for cash.
12:20- A pony?
12:21- Oh alright then, 30 quid.
12:24I can't say fairer than that.
12:26I'll let you have it on two weeks approval.
12:29I mean if I can't trust you, who can I trust, eh?
12:32I mean ask and it shall be given.
12:34You know that is my motto.
12:36Oh excuse me.
12:38Here, here, darling.
12:39You're one of the bridesmaids, aren't you?
12:45- Oh thanks, Rodney.
12:47- What are you doing over here on your own then?
12:50- Oh I was just reminiscing.
12:52This used to be my old stamping ground.
12:55Portsmouth's just a couple of miles up the road there.
12:59- Bet you had some laughs around here, eh?
13:01- Not half!
13:03The warning used to go out,
13:04'Lock up your daughters, Trotters back in port!'
13:09- Congratulations, darling.
13:11You remember Mike, don't you?
13:12He's the water-diviner from the Nag's Head.
13:15- Of course I do.
13:17Hello, Mike, it's lovely to see you again.
13:19This is Andy, my husband.
13:21- Congratulations, son.
13:22You will never regret what you did today.
13:24I should know, I've been married 18 years.
13:27- Thanks a lot.
13:28Is your wife here?
13:29- No, we broke up back in '73.
13:34- Finally the skipper said,
13:35'I know, we'll try and hide in one of the fjords.'
13:41- I think I might have heard this story before.
13:44Did you sink?
13:47- Yeah.
13:48- I've heard it!
13:54- Why do you bother to listen to him?
13:56- I don't know, a moment of weakness I suppose.
14:01- It's a bit up-market, innit, Del?
14:04- I was surprised to see you here.
14:07- I am at home in any walk of life.
14:08How are you, sweetheart?
14:13- I don't believe it!
14:14Will you behave yourselves!
14:16We're only an hyphen or two away from a society wedding
14:20and you're behaving as if you're on a charabang trip
14:22to the lights.
14:23- Oh shut up you snobby git!
14:27- I am merely trying to conduct myself
14:30with a little decorum!
14:34Oh Del, I assume this 'bundle' is from you?
14:38- That's our present, yes.
14:41- Good God, it looks like the bomb squad
14:43have had a go at it!
14:45And what have you bought the unlucky couple?
14:48- A 13 piece dinner service!
14:51- But we've bought 'em a dinner service as well!
14:54- I shouldn't worry, Marlene, they'll be no comparison.
14:59We got ours from Royal Doulton,
15:01they most probably got theirs from Dalton's Weekly.
15:07- He's good, ain't he?
15:09He's got more front than Southend.
15:12- No, but it is a lovely dinner service, Del.
15:15It's got a hand-painted pattern
15:18depicting the changing seasons of the English countryside.
15:22- He's most probably given 'em
15:24that old crockery he bought at the Chinese auction.
15:26- How dare you!
15:28What sort of bloke d'you think I am?
15:31- Well I wouldn't put it past you.
15:33Come along Marlene.
15:34Shall we circulate?
15:37- Bloody 'ell, Boycie, we've been round
15:39more times than a break dancer!
15:43- Did our dinner service come from the bankrupt Chinkies?
15:46- No it did not, I swear on my life!
15:50- Well them plates had an awful lot of Pandas
15:52and Pagodas on em!
15:54- They did come from the Chinese take-away.
15:56Look, we've been really strapped for money recently!
15:59Anyway, I thought they looked rather nice Pagodas.
16:03- No they're not, they look more like prisoner-of-war camp!
16:07I mean how is it gonna make us look?
16:09Boycie and Marlene's service depicts the changing seasons
16:12and ours contains scenes from Tenko!
16:17- Yeah, I suppose you're right.
16:24Hang about a minute.
16:25Here, hold on to this.
16:44He who dares wins.
16:59- Aunt Reen, d'you wanna drink.
17:02- I'll have a port and lemon.
17:05Better make it a small one,
17:07I've had orders from young Lisa,
17:08that I mustn't get Oliver Twist in front of 'his' family.
17:11I don't know who she thinks they are,
17:14big hats and no drawers most of 'em!
17:18- Here's a face from the past.
17:21- Albert Trotter, I don't believe it!
17:24- Hello, Reeny girl, how you going?
17:26- I thought you went down with the Lusitania!
17:29- Fiver says he did!
17:31- No, they tried but they couldn't get me.
17:33How long you been living out this way?
17:35- I moved from Peckham in 1965.
17:38I couldn't stand that estate any longer.
17:41It's nice and peaceful out here
17:42and I don't have to save up to get to the seaside.
17:45You must be retired now.
17:49- Yeah, I'm living back with the family, Joannie's kids.
17:52- Del Boy's not here is he?
17:54- He's in there having a dance.
17:56He'll be out soon, he ain't had a drink for four minutes.
18:00And little Rodney's here as well!
18:02- Oh no!
18:03- Rodney's here?
18:05Oh the little love!
18:08- That's him there.
18:11- The last time I saw you you was in your pram.
18:18- Who the bloody hell is this woman?
18:22- No, no.
18:22I'm Rodney.
18:25- You're little Rodney?
18:28Ain't you got big?
18:31You don't remember me, do you, darling?
18:35- No.
18:36- This is Trigger's Aunt Reeny.
18:37She used to be your mum's best friend.
18:41- Oh yeah, me and Joannie, the terrible twins.
18:46D'you remember when your mum had that cleaning job
18:48down at the town hall?
18:50- No.
18:51- I used to look after you while she was at work,
18:55bath you and everything.
19:00Remember when I took you shopping that day in Woolworths?
19:04- No.
19:05- As I was pushing you round you were picking things up
19:08off the counter and I didn't know!
19:10When I got home and took you out the pram
19:12I found three bottles of scent,
19:14a packet of Weights and a Helen Shapiro record!
19:19So the next day I took you up Selfridges!
19:28I reckon the rumors were right.
19:30Joannie was never a hundred percent sure,
19:32but you can see the likeness, can't you?
19:37- D'you fancy a dance, Reen?
19:39I can still cut a rug with the best of 'em.
19:41- Keep your hands to yourself though.
19:44See you later, love.
19:50- What was that all about?
19:51- Gawd knows.
19:52- I remember her from years ago,
19:54she's never been the full 10 bob.
19:56- Oi, that's my Auntie you're talking about!
19:58- It must be a family trait then!
20:05(upbeat pop music)
20:12- Albert, don't go in there.
20:14Marlene is pulling all the blokes' shirt tails out.
20:20No, Reeny, Reeny Turpin!
20:27- Remember me, do you?
20:29- Remember you, I'm still having nightmares about you!
20:35How are you, sweetheart?
20:35Are you keeping well?
20:36- I'm smashing, Del.
20:39I say you're looking very prosperous.
20:42- Well, life's been pretty good to us, innit Albert?
20:46- Non-stop Mardi Gras.
20:49- You look great, you really do.
20:51Let's go and sit down.
20:52I'm feeling a bit cream-crackered after that dance.
20:58- She used to be a right little raver in her younger days.
21:02They reckon during the war
21:04she had more yanks than Eisenhower.
21:08I heard the Normandy landings started from her scullery.
21:15- Who you talking about?
21:16- Trigger's Auntie.
21:26- When was it the last time I saw you?
21:29- I moved from Peckham in '65, so that's nearly 23 years!
21:35You promised you'd come and see me.
21:38- Oh yeah yeah, well.
21:40I've got a bit tied-up, with business and what have you.
21:44- He seems a nice kid, young Rodney.
21:48- Oh yeah.
21:49He's got a diamond where other blokes have got a heart.
21:53Clever kid an all, he's got GCE's.
21:56- But he's had you behind him to guide him, Del.
21:58He wouldn't be in the position he's in today
22:00if it hadn't been for you.
22:02- I'm doing my best by him.
22:06Kept my promise to mum.
22:08- She'd have been so proud of you two boys.
22:16I reckon that's why I moved down here.
22:19The old place changed when your mum went.
22:22I lost the best friend I ever had.
22:25- Yeah, she was a lovely lady, wasn't she?
22:28- If things had worked out a bit better
22:31you and Rodney could have been millionaires by now.
22:35I remember going to visit her in the hospital
22:38and her saying to me,
22:41'If only I knew where he'd hidden it, Reen.
22:43'My boys would be set for life!'
22:49- Hidden?
22:51Hidden what?
22:53- Well, the gold!
22:57- Gold?
22:58What gold?
23:00- 'His' gold!
23:01- His, he, who's 'he'?
23:03- Freddy the Frog!
23:04- Freddy the Frog?
23:05Who's Freddy the Frog?
23:07- You mean your mum never told you?
23:08- No, no.
23:10- Oh my Gawd, me and my mouth!
23:12Forget I said anything Del.
23:14- How can I forget it?
23:16Come on, come on, you gotta tell me now, come on.
23:19Otherwise I'll get it out of someone else.
23:23- It all happened a long time ago.
23:27She met him in about 1959.
23:31- Met who?
23:32- Freddy Robdul.
23:35- Who's Freddy Robdul?
23:37- That was Freddy the Frog's real name.
23:42He was a villain from Rotherhyde,
23:44Not a nasty one, no guns or violence.
23:47He was a gentleman thief.
23:51Bit of a dandy was Freddy.
23:53He used to love French wine
23:55and paintings and what have you.
23:58He had a little holiday chalet down this way.
24:01They reckon when the police broke in
24:05the walls was covered with Monets and other originals.
24:12- What's this got to do with my mum?
24:14- Well, she, sort of 'befriended' him.
24:20- Yeah, well, she was a friendly lady.
24:24She'd help anyone out.
24:26- Yes.
24:28Well, she used to help Freddy the Frog.
24:33Anyway, one day in August 1963
24:39Freddy and a little gang
24:42broke into the vaults of a bank up in the city.
24:47They got away with over a quarter
24:50of a million pounds in gold bullion.
24:56The rest of the gang got caught but Freddy,
25:00and the gold, got away.
25:03Well, a short time afterwards, Freddy,
25:08while still on the run,
25:10was tragically killed in a freak accident.
25:14When they opened his will he'd left everything
25:19he owned to your mum.
25:22- What do you mean?
25:23All the Monets and originals and all that?
25:26- Oh no, they had to be returned to the original owners.
25:32The same went for the gold except of course,
25:35that nobody knew where Freddy had hidden it.
25:39Then your mum left all her worldly possessions to you
25:43including the lost gold.
25:49- If that gold was worth a quarter of a million in 1963,
25:55must be wort a million now, or maybe two!
26:00And it's mine!
26:02- Yours and Rodney's.
26:04- Same thing.
26:07I'm a millionaire.
26:09- I know.
26:11Bloody shame no one knows where it's hidden.
26:15- Yeah, it's a bit of a choker.
26:20I'll get us a re-fill.
26:30Rodney, I know you may find this hard to believe
26:36and it may even come as a bit of a shock to you.
26:41We are millionaires!
26:46- Oh good, perhaps we can take the magnet
26:48off the electric meter now.
26:59- Now listen to me, you remember in the past
27:01when you had trouble with your Cilla, the old Cilla Black,
27:04what did you do?
27:05You used to stagger down to the quack's, didn't you?
27:07You paid £2.50 for a prescription
27:10you popped that into the chemist
27:12and he'd give you a three bob tube of Algipan.
27:14Well thank goodness, those days are over
27:16thanks to this revolutionary new device.
27:19The inframax deep-penetration massager.
27:25You two, you two girls, you're miles off.
27:29I'm warning you.
27:31This is an osteopeadic device which emits infra-red rays
27:36that penetrate deep into the muscles soothing the pain away
27:39giving you permanent and instant relief.
27:42Seriously, listen to me.
27:43How much would you expect to pay
27:46if you went on Harley Street?
27:47How much would you expect to pay for that.
27:48Don't touch it, I'm warning you.
27:50You'd expect to pay 70 to 80 pounds for one of these,
27:53absolutely straight, but thank goodness,
27:55thanks to bulk buying free-enterprise,
27:57and a mate of mine who does a bit of smuggling,
28:00I can let you have one of these for a mere 15 pounds.
28:03That's a lot, what do you mean?
28:04I'll let you have this for the same amount of money
28:06that I paid for it, and that is 14 pounds.
28:09Come on.
28:11Snatch it off me, come on.
28:12You won't get a better--
28:14D'you mind moving on sir,
28:15cause I'm trying to do a bit of business here sir.
28:17- Sorry, son.
28:18- That's alright.
28:18Now slisten, I don't care whether you've got ear-ache,
28:21neck-ache, back-ache or even any other sort of ache,
28:25this little device will cure it.
28:28- Try it on him then.
28:29- Try it on the old fella.
28:31- No, no, I don't wanna do the batteries up.
28:36Anyway, that's probably not backache.
28:37That's body-language.
28:39I think he's trying to tell you something darling.
28:41- No, it's rheumatics, son.
28:43Suffered with it for years.
28:45- Try your massager on him.
28:50- Alright, alright I will.
28:57- That soppy little thing won't do me no good.
28:59My back's been under experts!
29:01Confounded the medical world, my back has.
29:04- Well, at least let me try.
29:06It can't do any harm, can it sir?
29:07Let me try, come on, slip your coat off.
29:09Just slip your coat off then.
29:10That's it.
29:11Oh, I see you're a naval war hero, sir.
29:13- 40 years before the mast fighting for King and country.
29:20- Groan, groan!
29:21- Oh Gawd, my back!
29:23- That's it sir, remember, no sudden movements.
29:26Not until I have applied the healing rays
29:29of the Inframax deep-penetration massager.
29:32Alright, here we go.
29:33Here it is.
29:34Can you feel that sir?
29:36Can you feel the relaxing warmth soothing the pain
29:38and tension away in your lumbar region?
29:42- Yeah, that's very therapeutic that is.
29:45I've never had this done to me before.
29:48- Coming from an old sailor
29:49that's saying something, innit?
29:53- Oh, that's lovely.
29:54My back feels better already.
29:56- There you are.
29:57- Look at that, I can stand up straight!
30:01I haven't been able to stand up straight for years!
30:13(cheering and clapping)
30:16- I don't believe him!
30:18What is he doing to me?
30:20- He's just a stooge!
30:21- He's part of the act!
30:23- No he ain't!
30:26We've never met before, have we, sir?
30:28- No Del, we haven't.
30:39You told me to 'get better' in front of the crowd.
30:41- Yes I know that.
30:42But I didn't ask you to do the third act
30:43from 'Singing in the Rain', did I?
30:46You came round that corner looking like Old Father Time.
30:49One rub of me massager and you turned into Wayne Sleep!
30:52- Well, I'm not used to all this market spieling.
30:55Why didn't you get Rodney to do it?
30:57- Because Rodney started his new job today.
30:59He can't be in two places at the same time.
31:03Come on, clear this all up will you?
31:05- Innit bloody fair, eh?
31:07I fought a war for the younger generation.
31:09- Yeah, but whose side were you on?
31:12- Del Boy, Albert.
31:16Good wedding weren't it?
31:18- Yeah, mustard.
31:19- Lisa and Andy were double pleased
31:21with that dinner service you bought 'em.
31:22Must have cost a fortune?
31:24- That's alright Trig.
31:25Anything for the young couple.
31:28Here comes Money!
31:29- D'you see the crappy present he bought 'em?
31:33- No, no I didn't catch that, Trigger.
31:36- Load of cheap old plates.
31:37Sort of thing you'd get in a bad Chinese restaurant.
31:43- That's typical though, eh?
31:44That's why he's so rich, for being so tight.
31:47- Yeah, he's tight, ain't he?
31:50- He's the sort of bloke who buys a tin of baked beans
31:53on Tuesday so he can have a bubble bath on Wednesday.
31:59- Good morning, gentlemen.
32:03Another fine day in Gotham City.
32:07Well, Trigger, the wedding seemed to go very well,
32:09all things considered.
32:11- Yeah it was alright, weren't it?
32:12- Did Lisa and what's his name find time
32:15to look at my present?
32:17- Yeah they looked at it, not for long though.
32:22- And what about 'his' little gift?
32:24- They put Del's present straight in their display cabinet.
32:29- Peasants!
32:31- That reminds me, talking of the wedding,
32:33there's something I wanted to ask you two.
32:35Think back to the early '60s.
32:37Do you remember Freddy the Frog?
32:40- Freddy the Frog?
32:42No, don't ring a bell.
32:44I remember Torchy the Battery Boy.
32:48- Yeah, and what about Twizzle?
32:50- I don't believe you two.
32:52I just don't believe you.
32:55- Hang up, hats off.
32:58Your mini-cab's arrived, Albert.
33:08- Is that Dave?
33:13- Yeah.
33:23You git!
33:26You rotten git!
33:29You didn't tell me my new job was a chief mourner!
33:32- Rodney, show some respect.
33:37- What's he doing?
33:38- Just you wait, Del!
33:40Just you wait.
33:56- Why are you taking us down there, Rodney?
33:59It's a no-entry!
34:00- Yes, sorry, Mr Jahan,
34:02I was talking to my brother and I--
34:05Sorry!
34:09Could you just back up a little bit, please.
34:15Would you mind backing up a little bit, please?
34:20What's the trouble?
34:24- I can't stand it any more.
34:27What a plonker!
34:30Excuse me, out of the way.
34:33- Yes, I'm finding this rather upsetting too.
34:37- D'you know the bloke in the hearse then?
34:38- No, but I know the bloke in the Cortina,
34:41I sold it to him last week.
34:45-[Rodney] You're a liar, Del!
34:46-[Del] I swear to you Rodney,
34:48I didn't know what your duties would be,
34:50Mr Jahan never told me!
34:51-[Rodney] Didn't know, my arse!
34:53You just set me up for that job
34:54so that I could bring some money into the flat.
34:56- Well every little helps, Rodney, every little helps.
34:59Anyway, I thought that black suit looked really good on you.
35:03- No it didn't!
35:04I saw my reflection in a shop window.
35:06I looked like a wand!
35:10You told me I'd be a trainee computer programmer!
35:14- And are you not programming his computer?
35:17- Oh yeah, I'm programming his computer.
35:20I'm also an apprentice pall-bearer,
35:22a fully-fledged chief mourner
35:24and I have to go and get the sandwiches!
35:27- Long as you've got job-satisfaction,
35:28that's the main thing.
35:29- No, I have not got job-satisfaction, actually!
35:32As a matter of fact, I'm thinking of resigning!
35:35- Well, you'd better hurry up before he sacks you!
35:37- That big traffic jam was not my fault!
35:39Alright, you name one person who blamed me!
35:42- Mr Jahad did.
35:43- The grieving relatives did.
35:45- The Flying Eye did.
35:50- It wasn't my fault the differential
35:51on that Cortina seized up!
35:53I had to call the RAC, and they had to call for a tow truck,
35:56but couldn't get through.
35:57- Why?
35:57- 'Cos of the big traffic jam.
36:01Anyway it all went off alright in the end.
36:03- Yeah, it all went off alright in the end.
36:04I mean you could have started a trend.
36:06Floodlit funerals could be all the rage!
36:11Anyway, I don't want to talk no more about it,
36:13I've got far more important things on my mind.
36:16- Oh, we're not going back to Freddy
36:17the bleedin' Frog again, are we?
36:19- Yes, we are.
36:22There's a million quids worth of gold bullion out there,
36:24and it's mine, ours!
36:26- You're something else, you are.
36:28A drunken old woman spins you some cock 'n' bull story
36:31and you fall for it.
36:33- Now listen, Rodney.
36:34Just because Reenee was a good time girl
36:36who liked the occasional Tizer,
36:38that was alright, she was never a liar.
36:40Anyway, I've been out and seen a few faces this afternoon
36:43I got some information and they've confirmed it.
36:47About the robbery,
36:47the gold bullion never being found, the lot.
36:52- But how can you be certain it ain't been found?
36:54I mean over the past few years, every policeman
36:56and underworld figure in the country
36:58must have been looking for that gold.
37:00- And what would they have done with it?
37:02They'd either have put it through a fence,
37:03which meant it becomes public knowledge,
37:07or they smelled it down themselves.
37:09If they do that
37:10and that amount of gold coming on the market causes ripples,
37:14the sort of ripples that'd be remembered for a long time!
37:18- And what if the police found it?
37:20- I'm talking about the police!
37:25The chaps never found it either.
37:27I had a chat with the Driscoll brothers.
37:31- You went and saw the Driscoll brothers?
37:33- Why what they like?
37:34- Smashing blokes, Unc.
37:36It's like bumping into the two Ronnies, Biggs and Kray!
37:41They sussed out why you were asking questions?
37:43- No, you know what they're like.
37:49A couple of years ago some Guru
37:52reckoned the world would end within a month.
37:55Danny Driscoll bet a grand that it would.
38:02And he's the brains of the outfit.
38:06The only trouble was,
38:08I kept on having to refer to him as Freddy the Frog,
38:10I couldn't remember his surname.
38:11It was Robson or something.
38:14- Robdul.
38:15- Robdul, that's what it was!
38:18I've been trying to think of that all afternoon.
38:27Did you know him?
38:29- Vaguely!
38:31- Why didn't you say?
38:34- Well, the first time I met him he was just a kid,
38:3618, 19, a different age group from me.
38:40Then over the years I used to bump into him every so often,
38:43usually in one of the pubs down the docks.
38:47He were a likeable bloke, very generous.
38:51He was very tall and handsome.
38:54Everyone liked him, specially the women.
38:56Used to fall over them-selves for him.
38:58- Yes, yes, yes, but what about the gold bullion?
39:02- Well he robbed a bank in the city.
39:04- We know all that, don't we?
39:06What happened after the robbery?
39:10- About a week after, Freddy and an explosive expert
39:14called Jelly Kelly, broke into a post office in Plumstead.
39:20Yeah that's right.
39:22And then apparently they set wires
39:24and the explosives all right, everything going well,
39:27when nobody knew why Freddy the Frog sat on the detonator.
39:35They found him up on the roof of a building across the road.
39:42- Alright, what happened to the other mush, Kelly the Jelly?
39:46- Well, he was holding the nitroglycerine
39:48when Freddy sat down.
39:51- So he didn't survive either.
39:53- Well, if he did he'd be no good in a Mexican wave.
40:04- I don't know.
40:06Wherever I go it's the same story.
40:09Freddy the Frog took the secret with him.
40:11- Maybe he shipped the gold abroad.
40:14- There wouldn't be time.
40:15There was only a week between him doing the job
40:17and hitting the snooze-button.
40:21- There's another thing that's confusing me and all.
40:24If that Freddy was going out
40:26with a married woman on this estate,
40:28why did he leave all his money to our mum?
40:35- It's a mystery, innit?
40:38- I'll make some tea.
40:41- And there's another thing.
40:42I was talking to one of the Driscoll heavies.
40:44And he reckoned that Freddy had a son by that woman.
40:51- It's just a rumor, Del.
40:52I'd take no notice of rumors.
40:53- No, but if it was true
40:55the boy would be in his mid-20s by now.
41:01Still, the thing is, he don't know who his dad was
41:04so he can't make a claim on the fortune, can he?
41:10Look at this Rod.
41:11Oh there you are.
41:12Look at this Rodney.
41:13Here we are, millionaires,
41:15and we're getting threatening letters from the milkman!
41:19- This Freddy the Frog.
41:21Did he have any hobbies or pastimes?
41:23- Did he have any hobbies or pastimes?
41:26We're looking for his gold, not his tennis racket!
41:30- No, I just thought the more you find out about him
41:32the more you'll know how his mind works.
41:35- Yes, good thinking, Rodney.
41:39He was a bit of an artist weren't he, Albert?
41:42- Yeah, good artist.
41:44They reckon if he hadn't been a tea-leaf
41:46he could have made a very good forger.
41:50- Well that's got us a lot closer.
41:52Problem solved, that's it.
41:55I think I'm gonna go to bed.
41:56I say goodnight to you two, goodnight.
41:58- Goodnight.
42:03Albert.
42:04- They're rumors, Rodney.
42:06That's all.
42:09Rumors.
42:11Goodnight son.
42:19- Rodney.
42:20Don't forget, you've gotta be down the morgue by half nine.
42:25Alright, come on.
42:27We'll just finish this then we'll pop down the market
42:29and do a bit with the massagers.
42:31And this time, when I've finished operating on you,
42:33no tap-dancing!
42:35Just straighten up slowly like it's a miracle.
42:38- Del, got it!
42:40- What's that about?
42:41- Dunno, it looked like 'peace in our time!'
42:46- This morning Mr Jahan asked me
42:47to transfer all his old paper files onto computer.
42:50- What, my computer?
42:51- Yeah.
42:52Have a read of that.
42:53- No, no!
42:54What is it, a summons?
42:57- It's one of Mr Jahan's order forms from July 1963.
43:02Now look who ordered a coffin to be specially made.
43:05One Frederick Robdul.
43:09It was ordered five weeks before he did the robbery,
43:12six weeks before he blew himself up.
43:14D'you see what it means?
43:16- He had a premonition.
43:20- You berk!
43:25- No, wait a minute, wait a minute.
43:27This casket here was ordered by Mr Frederick Robdul,
43:31and paid for it,
43:31but it was made for a Mr Alfred Broderick.
43:35Who is Alfred Broderick?
43:37- No, look at the two names closely.
43:41It's an anagram.
43:44- Oh yeah, yeah, I can see that.
43:47But who was he?
43:50- No bloody 'ell, look.
43:54If you transpose all the letters--
43:57Mix up all the letters in Frederick Robdul,
44:01it becomes Alfred Broderick.
44:03In other words Broderick never existed,
44:05it's just one of Freddies' aliases.
44:08- He's right an' all.
44:11- What you're saying is that he put.
44:15- The bullion.
44:16- Into the coffin
44:18and then got the Co-op to hide it for him
44:20or in this case, Mr Jahan.
44:22- That's right, it was all legal above board.
44:24It was most probably paraded through them streets.
44:26- I'll bet the old Bill held up the traffic for it.
44:30- Then it was buried with all the usual honors.
44:33All Freddy had to do was bide his time,
44:35then come back for it.
44:37- You two seem to be forgetting something.
44:38This isn't a family pet we're talking about.
44:41If what you're suggesting is right
44:43he'd have needed permission from the authorities,
44:45he'd have needed official documentation,
44:48and lots and lots of it!
44:49So where's he get all that?
44:54- He always has to spoil things, don't he?
44:58- Wait a minute, wait a minute, I think I've cracked it.
45:04Way back in the early sixties when you was a nipper,
45:07Mum got herself a job down the town hall as a secretary.
45:11- A secretary?
45:12- Yeah, one of her duties was hoovering out
45:15the Registrar's department.
45:19She could get her hands on all the documents he needed
45:22and mark 'em with the official stamp!
45:27- What are you doing here?
45:29I thought you were supposed to be helping me
45:30with the embalming.
45:31- Yeah, sorry, Mr Jahan.
45:32I just took an early lunch.
45:33- Just please come and sit down for a minute, will ya?
45:38I'd just like to have a little chat with you.
45:40Rodney found this in your files.
45:43- But this is confidential material.
45:45- It just shows you how keen he is though.
45:47He's bringing his homework to lunch with him.
45:49Do you remember this man, Mr Frederick Robdul?
45:54- Yes I remember him very well, a most charming man.
45:58My father had just bought the business
45:59and Mr Robdul was one of our first clients.
46:03The other reason it sticks out in my mind is
46:05because Mr Robdul ordered an extra-large casket to be made.
46:12- And I expect his mate, Mr Broderick,
46:15was an extra-large chap, wasn't he?
46:19- I wouldn't know, we didn't handle the funeral.
46:21- What?
46:24- We simply supplied the casket.
46:26Mr Robdul came and collected it in a van one night.
46:28- You mean it was a take-away?
46:32- Mr Robdul told us it was to be a very private affair.
46:35We didn't question his decision,
46:37we didn't want to intrude upon his grief
46:39and we needed the business.
46:41- Wait a minute, wait a minnute.
46:42Does that mean you don't know where it's buried?
46:46- As I say, I don't know.
46:47It was a private affair.
46:48I must go now.
46:50Rodney, how long will you be?
46:51- Back soon, Mr Jahan.
46:52- We have a lot of work.
46:57- Well, that's the end of that.
46:58- You'll never find it now, son.
46:59- Yes we will!
47:00- Del, the gold has been missing for 24 years.
47:04The last thing anyone saw of Freddy the Frog
47:06was on a radar screen, so what chance have we got?
47:12- Listen to me.
47:14He would have buried it somewhere local.
47:16He would have stuck to an area that he knew well.
47:19So listen, this is what we're gonna do.
47:21I'm gonna see the flower man down the market
47:23and get us a codgel of tulips on sale or return.
47:26You're gonna visit every graveyard
47:28and cemetery in the district
47:30and you're gonna read every name on every headstone.
47:32And when you leave, you'll leave a flower
47:34as if you're one of the relatives.
47:35- But there's thousands of 'em!
47:37- If anyone asks you say you come from a big family!
47:41Rodney, I want you to do the same in your travels.
47:44Bit like a busman's holiday for you.
47:47In the meantime I'm gonna check the records
47:49down at the town hall, stonemason's,
47:51churches, that sort of thing.
47:53Don't worry brother, don't worry.
47:55We'll find it, we'll find it!
47:57- Del, I don't want to be the prophet of doom or nothing,
48:00but I do get the feeling we're wasting our time.
48:03That is time that could be spent in more productively
48:05in earning some money and paying some bills.
48:08We owe two months rent,
48:09we're drinking tea with no milk in it
48:11and the electricity board keep calling round to see
48:13why their meter is going backwards.
48:16- There's food in the cupboard, isn't there?
48:18- Yeah, thanks to my pension and Rodney's wages.
48:21It wouldn't be a bad idea for you
48:23to drive down to Hampshire
48:24and pick up that computer money off the vicar.
48:28- Leave it out.
48:29That gold must be here hidden somewhere.
48:32It can't have disappeared,
48:33this is Peckham not the Bermuda Triangle.
48:37And as me going all the way down to Hampshire
48:39to pick up a piddling 120 quid
48:41that's like admitting defeat.
48:43A sign that I'd give up all hope
48:45of ever finding my birthright.
48:48And that is not my style.
48:52When Del Trotter says he's gonna do something,
48:55Del Trotter does it!
48:59- You see what I mean Mr Trotter,
49:01I've tried everything and it simply refuses to work.
49:07- Has it received a whack of any kind?
49:08- Oh no, I can assure you.
49:12- There you are, that's all it needed.
49:16- Yes!
49:16Of course, I'm not technically minded like you, Mr Trotter.
49:19- Some of these hi-tech advancements
49:21need a bit of encouragement.
49:22So, if you'll just give me my money, I'll bid you farewell.
49:25- I'm afraid I shan't be needing the computer, Mr Trotter.
49:29- What?
49:29- As I said to you at the wedding,
49:31I couldn't honestly see what part a computer
49:33could play in the daily running
49:34of a small parish such as this.
49:36And my words have been borne out.
49:39- But if it had been working properly
49:40you would have seen the benefits.
49:42- I'm terribly sorry, Mr Trotter,
49:44and I'm awfully grateful to you
49:45for giving me it for two weeks on approval
49:47but I simply have no need of it.
49:52- I can't take it back now, it's been used.
49:56- Well, of course it's been used!
49:57You told me to use it!
49:58- Yes I know
49:59but you've taken it out of its protective wrapping.
50:02And look at that, look, it's had a whack there.
50:05- But you just did that!
50:06- Yes I know that
50:08but I'm not a technician, am I?
50:10I'm merely a salesman, that's all.
50:12What am I gonna tell my govner?
50:14I'm gonna have to go and tell him one or two things,
50:17that you took it out of the protective wrapping,
50:20you messed about with it,
50:21you let an unqualified wally repair it
50:23and now you wanna elbow it!
50:25No no, I'm sorry, no.
50:27That machine was in perfect condition
50:29when I loaned it to you,
50:30and look at it now, it's second hand, innit?
50:35As you are a man of the cloth
50:36and seeing that you are the one who naused it up
50:39I'll tell you what I'm gonna do,
50:40I'm gonna let you have that for the second hand price.
50:43You give me 100 notes and we'll say no more, alright?
50:45- I don't want the computer!
50:47- But this computer is top of the range,
50:49this is the Silver Cloud of computers.
50:51There are thousands of people pouring out of London
50:55into the housing estates in your Parish.
50:57Your flock is increasing.
50:59You're gonna need one of these to keep a check on 'em all!
51:01- I only wish that were true.
51:03Unfortunately few people seem to require the services
51:05of a church such as this.
51:07It's seems a pity to me that there aren't more people
51:10like our mutual friend Mr Robdul.
51:15- What?
51:16- I do apologize, I couldn't help overhearing you
51:19and Mrs Turpin discussing Mr Robdul at the wedding.
51:22- You mean to say that you knew Freddy the Frog?
51:25- I'm sorry?
51:26- You knew Frederick Robdul?
51:29- Many years ago when I came to St Mary's first.
51:32He had a holiday home just a few miles from here.
51:35He always used to call in when he was down this way.
51:37A charming and very generous man.
51:40He donated the stained-glass windows.
51:42In fact he loved this church so much
51:44his parents are buried here.
51:47- Did you ever meet his friend?
51:49Mr Broderick.
51:50- Alfred Broderick?
51:51- That's him.
51:52- Well, yes.
51:53Not to say 'meet' in the conventional sense.
51:55I had the sad duty of laying the poor man to rest.
51:59He must have been rather a large man.
52:00It took eight of us to carry him from the hearse.
52:04- Yeah, he was an anagram!
52:08Could you tell me where you buried it, buried him?
52:11I'd like to pay my last respects.
52:12- Oh, yes, it would be here in the records.
52:16He must have been very close to Mr Robdal.
52:18I've never forgotten the way he kept patting the coffin
52:22and contained his grief behind a smile.
52:25- Yeah, we were all a bit choked, you know?
52:27- Oh, yes, here we are.
52:31Now about the computer?
52:33- Don't worry about that.
52:34Give it to the jumble sale,
52:35it's only a load of rubbish anyway!
52:40- What do you put in that thing?
52:41- It's me own recipe.
52:43Dutch tobacco.
52:44Navy shag and a spoonful of rum to keep it moist.
52:51Smell the salt, Rodney?
52:53- You put condiments in it as well?
52:56- I'm talking about the ozone in the air.
52:59Takes me back.
53:02Funny how a smell can start the mind turning.
53:07- Not to mention the stomach.
53:15- Rodney, I know where it's buried!
53:24- What?
53:26You mean here?
53:29- Here, come on.
53:31Albert, bring that shovel!
53:37- Del, you can't go digging up a grave in broad daylight!
53:42I mean, I know there's nothing actually in it,
53:44except for gold bullion,
53:45but if anyone saw us doing it they might not understand!
53:50- Come on, over here.
53:58This is it.
53:59This is where he buried it!
54:01- Where?
54:03- There!
54:07- A burial at sea?
54:10Why?
54:11How did he ever hope to get the gold back?
54:15- There are one or two things our dear Uncle
54:17forgot to inform us of, Rodney.
54:19He told us he met Freddy the Frog
54:21but he didn't say where and how.
54:24- I met him when he was doing
54:25his national service in the navy.
54:27- Yes, he was a sailor!
54:29He also omitted to tell us
54:31how he got the nickname of Freddy the Frog.
54:34We assumed it was because of his love of all things French.
54:38- No, it was 'cos he was a frogman.
54:40- Yes it was because he was a frogman.
54:43I know that now, I just got the full SP off the vicar.
54:46- Why didn't you tell us?
54:48- Well, you know me.
54:49I never talk about my days at sea.
54:54- We knew that Freddy had a chalet down here at the coast.
54:57If we'd have also known he was an ex-sailor
55:00and a deep sea diver
55:01we may have been able to put two and two together.
55:04- Yes and you would have saved us a fortnight
55:07of creeping round every cemetery
55:08and churchyard in South London!
55:10- Well, if you knew he was buried at sea
55:12why'd you ask me to bring this shovel?
55:15- So I can whack you on the bloody head with it!
55:17- Del, take it easy!
55:21- Well, he gives me the 'ump, Rodney.
55:23He's been a right steaming 'ump!
55:30It was beautiful.
55:32Really beautiful.
55:34He got all the offended paperwork,
55:36a pukka ceremony, a vicar.
55:40He even got two off-duty policemen
55:41to help carry the coffin to the boat!
55:45- All he had to do was wait for the dust to settle,
55:47then come back with a frogman gear
55:49and dive down and get it.
55:52He must have known these waters well,
55:54probably been diving here for years.
55:56- It's out there, Rodney, it's out there.
56:01Our legacy!
56:03- Nothing you can do about it now, Del.
56:07- I'm not leaving it there!
56:10The sea shall not have it!
56:13I shall bring it back to the surface!
56:16We can do it!
56:19I have faith in you, Rodney!
56:22- Me?
56:24What d'you men you've got faith in me?
56:26- I'm gonna get you all the flippers, the goggles.
56:29You're the only one in the family who can swim.
56:31- All I ever got was a 50 yard certificate at school.
56:34- You only need to swim 50 yards down!
56:38- On your bike!
56:41- Where you gonna start searching?
56:42You're looking at 500 square miles of ocean!
56:46It took 'em 70 years to find the Titanic
56:49so what chance we got with an outsize coffin?
56:53- Gotta do something!
56:56He who dares wins!
57:00There's a million quids worth of gold out there, Rodney.
57:04Our gold!
57:06We can't just say Bonjour to it!
57:15- Do I look like him?
57:18- It was just a rumor, son.
57:21- Do I look like him?
57:24- Bit.
57:26- I always felt as if I was a bit different
57:28from the rest of the family.
57:31A bit of a cuckoo.
57:32- It was just a rumor!
57:36- Freddy the Frog!
57:39Killed himself by sitting on someone else's detonator!
57:45What a plonker!
58:04Come on, let's talk about it over a pint.
58:10- Yeah, I expect you're right bruv.
58:15But in the words of General MacArthur,
58:18'I will be back soon!'
58:22I am not leaving our birthright down there
58:24in Davey Smith's locker.
58:26No way, I tell you Rodders.
58:30This time next year we will be millionaires.
58:41♫ We've got some half priced cracked ice
58:43♫ And miles and miles of carpet tiles
58:44♫ TV's, deep freeze and David Bowie LP's
58:47♫ Pool games, gold chains, wosnames
58:50♫ And at a push
58:51♫ Some Trevor Francis track-suites
58:52♫ From a mush in Shepherds Bush, Bush, Bush,
58:54♫ Bush, Bush, Bush, Bush, Bush
58:57♫ No income tax, no VAT
59:00♫ No money back, no guarantee
59:03♫ Black or white, rich or broke
59:06♫ We'll cut prices at a stroke
59:11♫ God bless Hooky Street
59:13♫ Viva Hooky Street
59:17♫ Long live Hooky Street
59:19♫ C'est magnifique Hooky Street
59:23♫ Magnifique Hooky Street
59:27♫ Hooky Street