Only Fools and Horses S03E02 — Healthy Competition

Every line from “Healthy Competition” (621 quotes). Click one to open the meme editor on the exact frame, ready to caption and share.

00:03♫ Stick a pony in me pocket
00:06♫ I'll fetch the suitcase from the van
00:10♫ Cause if you want the best 'uns
00:12♫ But you don't ask questions
00:14♫ Then brother I'm your man
00:18♫ Cause where it all comes from
00:19♫ Is a mystery
00:21♫ It's like the changing of the seasons
00:23♫ And the tides of the sea
00:25♫ But here's the one that's driving me berserk
00:29♫ Why do only fools and horses work
00:32♫ La la lala
00:34♫ La la la la la
00:36♫ La la lala
00:39- No, they're beautiful ain't they?
00:40They're beautiful.
00:41And listen, I don't care whether your nipper
00:42has got measles, mumps or a scabby eye,
00:45because these are guaranteed to bring
00:47a smile right back onto his face.
00:49Now listen, gather round everybody.
00:50Listen to me, now listen ladies,
00:51I want to tell you something, please don't let it go
00:53any further because I'm afraid I might be in breach
00:56of the Official Secrets Act, right.
00:58I happen to know that little Prince William has one
01:00of these little fluffy toys in his nursery in Buck House.
01:04Now, I'll tell you how I know, shall I?
01:05Because his dad gave me a bell last week
01:08and he said, Del Boy, Del Boy, he said,
01:11I'm in right lumber, the enemy's doing her pieces
01:14because I've forgotten Spud's Birthday.
01:16Now, Spud happens to be the nickname
01:17for the little Prince William.
01:19So what did I do?
01:20I walloped straight round there with one of these.
01:22And it was end of aggravation, end of story.
01:25Now, they come complete with batteries.
01:27They're guaranteed fully house trained.
01:28Whoops, nope that one isn't, never mind.
01:30Look, these are not made in Taiwan
01:32and these are not made in Hong Kong.
01:33These are made in Burma.
01:35What can't speak, can't lie.
01:37(dramatic music)
01:40Now, I'm not going to mess about with coppers.
01:42Now, that's a Freudian slip, so I'm not asking for 14 quid,
01:45I'm not gonna ask for 10 quid.
01:47Who'll give me six quid for this little yap?
01:51If these were fluffy little chickens you'd be saying,
01:53good heavens, they're going cheap.
01:56Going cheap, do you get it?
02:00And I'll tell you why I've got to get rid of them, shall I?
02:03Because I'm going on me holidays
02:05and I need me suitcase, right.
02:07Now, what I...
02:08What I, er...
02:12Sorry I can't stay.
02:13Tell you what, I just remembered
02:14me flight leaves in half an hour.
02:17See ya!
02:24Excuse me!
02:25Oh!
02:33(pottery crashing)
02:37(toys squeaking)
03:03Shut up, will ya?
03:18(dogs barking)
03:34(tires screeching)
03:55(dogs barking)
04:13- Had a good day Del?
04:18- Had a good day, a good day?
04:20Oh the best, Grandad, the very bloody best.
04:23I've been chased by a gendarme,
04:25attacked by Pussycat Willum and almost caught rabies.
04:28And it's all this dipstick's fault.
04:31- Oh, he don't half exaggerate.
04:32- Exaggerate?
04:34You should have been with me in that alley Rodney.
04:35It was like Call of the Wild.
04:37Why didn't you warn me that that copper was coming?
04:39- Because I didn't see him.
04:40- You didn't see him?
04:42What d'you want me to get you, radar or something?
04:45- Oh, you've gotta give him the benefit
04:47of the doubt, Del Boy.
04:48- Yes, thank you, Grandad.
04:50At least somebody understands.
04:52- I mean, they are difficult to spot
04:54with their size 18 boots and their pointed heads.
04:59- Why don't you shut your mouth, you sarky old goat!
05:02- Oh, and that's another thing.
05:03What about last Friday then,
05:04when we were knocking out them Italian shirts?
05:06Listen to this one, Grandad.
05:07That wasn't just one copper you failed
05:09to warn me about, it was an entire squad car.
05:13I mean, it stood there by the curb, all big and white
05:15with a red stripe running through it like a tube of Signal.
05:20- Well, I didn't see it.
05:21- You didn't see it...
05:22You must have been a tiny bit suspicious
05:24when this ginormous great big jam sandwich
05:26pulled up next to ya?
05:28- Well, maybe he needs medical help, Del?
05:31- Yeah, like psychiatric treatment.
05:33- Or glasses.
05:34- Look, I don't need psychiatric treatment
05:36and I don't need specs, right.
05:39I've had a lot on me mind just recently.
05:41I've been struggling to find a way
05:43of making a very important announcement.
05:44- Oh yeah, what important announcement?
05:48- Alright, for the past two weeks or so
05:51I've been taking stock of my life.
05:54Who I am, what I am and where I'm going.
05:58- And that's taken you a fortnight?
06:00I could have answered all them questions for you,
06:01could have been answered them all during a commercial break.
06:05- Will you just shut up for one minute?
06:08I am 24 years old, I have two GCEs,
06:1113 years of schooling and three terms
06:14at an adult education center behind me, right.
06:17And with all that, what have I become?
06:20I'm a look-out.
06:23- No, Rodney, you're wrong.
06:25You're not just a look-out.
06:27You're a bad look-out.
06:30- Alright, alright, so I'm not very good at it.
06:33Perhaps that's cause me heart's not really in it.
06:35- I'm not asking you to put yer heart in it,
06:36just yer eyes'll do.
06:39- Del, what I'm trying to say...
06:43I'm thinking of breaking up the partnership.
06:52- What partnership?
06:54- Ours.
06:55- Oh, what do you want to do that for?
06:56We're doing well.
06:57Business is booming, profits are up.
06:59What more d'you want?
07:00- I want to make my own decisions.
07:04And I've made one Del, I'm going it alone.
07:07- Who with?
07:08- Mickey Pearce.
07:09- Mickey Pearce, Mickey Pearce, oh, leave it out.
07:12He couldn't keep a rabbit going with lettuce.
07:14- You wanna watch that young Pearcey.
07:16He's a bit too fly for my liking.
07:18He'd rob his own grandmother, he would.
07:21- Oh, don't be stupid Grandad that was never proved.
07:25Anyway, you give credit where it's due, right.
07:28Mickey's quite an astute businessman.
07:30And he's putting capital into this venture.
07:33- Oh, putting money in, is he?
07:36- Well, no, but he will as soon as his Giro cheque arrives.
07:40- I see, and what are you putting in?
07:42- I've got money, Del.
07:44- Oh, oh, have you?
07:45- Yeah, I've got my half of the partnership.
07:48- What partnership?
07:49What our part...
07:59Alright, if that is the way that you want it, my son.
08:04Cause you'll have to understand one thing, Rodney.
08:06Going it alone means exactly what it says.
08:09Right, from now on, you've got
08:10to pay your own way in the world.
08:11You pay your own way in the pubs
08:12and you pay your own way in this house.
08:14You make a mistake you stick by that mistake, alright?
08:17- Fine.
08:18- Fine and if things don't go right for you,
08:20I don't wanna hear no moaning or whining from ya.
08:23- Look, I won't moan or whine about nothing.
08:24- Right, there you go then.
08:31- Is this all I got?
08:33Oh bloody hell, Del,
08:34all them years of working, and you give me this.
08:36- Yeah well, I mean, you know,
08:37business's a bit shaky, profits are down.
08:39- Hold on a minute, just now you said we was doing well.
08:42- Yeah well, we are doing well, relatively speaking, Rodney.
08:45I mean we are doing well,
08:46compared to an Iranian gin salesman.
08:50Anyway, I had to buy some stock
08:52off Alfie Flowers yesterday and I mean a trader
08:55is only as good as his stock, right.
08:57- Alright, well, this'll have to do then, won't it.
09:01But I'm going to prove to you
09:02that I've got business acumen,
09:04that I am as quick-witted as you, Del.
09:07See you down the auction tomorrow.
09:09- Alright, how will I recognize you?
09:11- Ah, I'll wear that stripy tie with...
09:15See ya.
09:17- Lot 35, ladies and gentlemen,
09:19is a consignment of smoke-damaged fire alarms.
09:22Now, they're industrial models, all guaranteed,
09:25sort of, to be in perfect working order.
09:28Well, we've written evidence from the nightwatchman
09:30to say they all went off when the factory went up.
09:32Now, there's 70 all-told and they usually retail
09:36around the 30 quid mark.
09:37So I can start the bidding at 50 pound the lot.
09:40- Go on, bid for 'em.
09:42- What do we want industrial fire alarms for, eh?
09:45How many factories do we know are going to catch fire?
09:49- Alright, Rodney?
09:52- Good morning, Derek.
09:54- Hello, young Michael.
09:55- Watcha Del, it's good here, innit?
09:59- Mm, terrific.
10:01- This is my first auction.
10:03- I thought it might be.
10:06Listen, a word of advice.
10:08You've gotta be very careful what you do
10:09with your hands in a place like this.
10:12I mean, I know you didn't realize it, Mickey,
10:14but just now you put in a 40 quid bid
10:16for an electric generator when you scratched your bum.
10:19- Did I?
10:21- He's winding you up.
10:24- The state of him.
10:28What are you after?
10:29- Cut-glass goblets.
10:31- No, no, we ain't.
10:32- But I thought you said...
10:33- No, no, we're not after nothing in particular.
10:36- Oh I see.
10:38Now listen, the one that you wanna beware of is Lot 37.
10:42It's nothing more than a load of old scrap iron, right.
10:45So be careful.
10:48See you later.
10:53- 130, thank you sir.
10:54130, do I hear any more?
10:56130.
10:58Down to young towser.
11:01Now, ladies and gentlemen, we come to lot 36.
11:05112 pieces of near perfect cut-glass goblets.
11:09Take a look, ladies and gentleman.
11:11- This is us, Rodney.
11:12- No, hang on a minute.
11:14Let's have another look at Lot 37.
11:16- Yeah, but Del told us to be careful of that one.
11:18- Yeah and why do you think he did that?
11:21Use your noddle, Mickey.
11:23Del's after Lot 37, ain't he?
11:26He's just trying to put us off
11:27and leave the field open for him, ain't he?
11:29I know how his mind works, son.
11:33Right, Lot 37, assorted agricultural machinery.
11:37Hey, that could be anything.
11:39That could be tractors, combine harvesters.
11:42- Yeah, we could take 'em out in the sticks
11:44and do them old carrot crunchers up.
11:46- Hey, shall we go for Lot 37 then?
11:49- Yeah.
11:50Yeah, yeah.
11:54- You bought this son?
11:57- Yeah.
12:00- There's always one at every auction, ain't there, Del?
12:02- Yeah, get two for the same price at this one.
12:06- Oi you, this stuff is a load of rubbish!
12:09- I know, I did try to warn you, Rodders.
12:11- Yeah, but I thought when you put...
12:12- Yeah, no, the trouble with you is Rodney,
12:14that you will insist on thinking.
12:17- Well, what have you bought then?
12:19- I got those crystal goblets that you were after.
12:24- What are these things?
12:25- What those?
12:26They are lawn mower engines.
12:28- Lawn mower engines?
12:30- Yes, listen they're not ordinary lawn mower engines.
12:36- No?
12:37- No, they're broken lawn mower engines.
12:49- Uh, Del.
12:51-[Del] Mm.
12:52- We'll probably have a few problems
12:54getting these back to the, er, depot.
12:57- Yeah, we come down on the Green Line, see.
13:00- Oh well, your best bet is to hire
13:02an open back truck then, ain't it?
13:05- Yeah, but we was wondering whether you could take
13:08maybe a few in the back of the van?
13:11- Back of my van?
13:15You must be joking.
13:17I've only just cleared 'em out of the van.
13:23- You mean you was selling 'em in the first place?
13:26- Yeah.
13:28That is the rubbish that Alfie Flowers sold me.
13:31Normally, I'd never have bought it, but you know,
13:32he caught me when I was a bit non compos mentis
13:35down at One Eleven Club.
13:38Well, look, I never thought I'd ever get shot of them.
13:40But you know me, Rodney.
13:41He who dares wins.
13:44Actually, it made a tidy little profit on it an' all.
13:49- Well, what are we supposed to do with them?
13:51Well, why don't you do what I did?
13:53Find yourself a couple of right little plonkers
13:55with cash on the hip.
14:03- So what we gonna do?
14:07- Wait till he ain't looking and run away.
14:11- No, we can't do that, he's got my address.
14:13- Yeah, well he ain't got mine.
14:15- Oh thanks, partner.
14:17- Well, you would insist on bidding for 'em.
14:19- Yeah, and who wanted to go down to the sticks
14:21and flog 'em to the carrot crunchers?
14:24- Well, you said they were combine harvesters and tractors.
14:26The way you were talking we were going to do
14:28a deal with Weetabix.
14:29-[Rodney] Oh, get off my back.
14:33-[Mickeyl] How we going to get home anyway?
14:36- Hello Grandad, here are, look at this.
14:38Bought you some strawberries, go on, dip in.
14:40- Oh, here, they ain't very big, are they?
14:44- What do you mean they ain't very big?
14:46You wouldn't like one of those
14:46up yer nose for a wart, would yer?
14:48- Well, no.
14:52- Well, go on then, shut up and eat up.
14:53I'll put the kettle on.
14:55- You're splashing out a bit, ain't yer?
14:57- Yeah, well, I've had a right blinding week.
14:59I've sold the lot.
15:00Here, I even sold those technicolor
15:02woolen tea cosies I bought.
15:04- How d'you manage that?
15:05Who the hell wants woolen tea cosies these days?
15:08- No, no, no, no, look, I got that Mrs Murphy right,
15:11to stitch up all the holes.
15:12And then I whipped down to the youth center
15:14and I flogged 'em to the West Indian lads as soppy hats.
15:21There you go, look, there's the housekeeping money,
15:23alright, and look at that, there's a tenner for yourself.
15:25- Oh cheers, Del.
15:26- That's it, don't squander it.
15:28- No, no, I'll invest it wisely.
15:33How's young Rodney doing?
15:35- Oh well, the opposition are floundering somewhat.
15:38Well, to be more precise, they're going down
15:40like a one-legged man doing the hokey-cokey.
15:45I've seen Rodney skulking around
15:46the garden centers and what 'ave yer.
15:48- He ain't got rid of them lawn mower engines yet?
15:51- No, they're still in their depot.
15:54Well, depot, that's Mickey Pearce's garden shed.
15:57Here talking about that.
16:00Do you know what happened last Tuesday night,
16:02somebody broke into their shed
16:03and nicked two of them engines.
16:04- Ah no, that's rotten, innit?
16:06I feel sorry for young Rodney.
16:09- No, no, no, it's alright because Wednesday night
16:11they broke in again and put 'em back.
16:13(door slamming shut)
16:14- Oh here he is.
16:15Listen Del Boy, don't say nothing
16:17about them lawn mower engines.
16:19I think he's getting a bit embarrassed about it.
16:21- Alright, I won't mention 'em.
16:27- Alright Del?
16:28- Terrific, brill Rodders, had a blinding week.
16:30How about you?
16:31- Oh fine, could not be better.
16:37- Sold those lawn mower engines yet?
16:40- Lawn mower, lawn mower?
16:41Oh no, no, we've had lots of inquiries, obviously,
16:45but we're hanging on for the right price, you know.
16:47- Oh that is the way, Rodney,
16:49agent provocateur as the French would say.
16:51- Well, that's what I thought.
16:55Oh that reminds me, did the paper boy
16:56bring my Sun this morning?
16:58- Well, we've had to cancel it, Rodney.
17:00- Cancel it, why?
17:01- Well, you haven't paid yer bill, have you?
17:03- What, I'm paying that separate as well now, am I?
17:05- Yeah, well, you're on yer own now, remember?
17:07- Oh yeah, yeah, it's alright, I'm just saying,
17:08you know, as long as I know.
17:10I'll go and pay it tomorrow.
17:12- You hungry, Rodney?
17:14- Ah well, I had a pretty hefty lunch
17:17with a client earlier on.
17:18But, yeah, I reckon I could manage some egg and chips.
17:21- I'll go and put the pan on.
17:23- Just a minute, just a minute.
17:24Has he paid his housekeeping money?
17:28- Well, I've got a bit of a cash flow problem at the moment.
17:31- Well, so's half the people on this estate,
17:33but they don't come in here eating my egg and chips.
17:36- No, it's alright, I'll pay double next week.
17:38- Ah well, that's alright then.
17:40That's alright, you can have double egg and chips next week.
17:44- How can you have a cash flow problem, Rodney?
17:47I thought you had nearly 200 pounds left out of your share.
17:51- Yeah, yeah, that's right.
17:52But, uh, Mickey's holding the money.
17:58Well, he's financial director, see.
18:00- Why don't you pop round his house and get some money?
18:03- Yeah, yeah, I would but he's out of town at the moment.
18:07- Yeah, I thought I hadn't seen him around
18:08for about four or five days.
18:11- No, no, well, that's cause we're doing
18:14this really big deal, you see,
18:16and Mickey's gone away to tie up all the loose ends.
18:19- Oh, well that explains it then.
18:20- Yeah, explains what?
18:22- No, it's just that I saw his mum this morning.
18:24She said she just got a postcard from him from Benidorm.
18:26- Benidorm?
18:28- Yeah, he's doing alright.
18:29You know, the weather's fine.
18:30Food's good, met this Swedish bird called Helga.
18:35Oh, would that be the contact that he went to meet?
18:38- What?
18:39Yeah, yeah, yeah.
18:42- Well, I've gotta admire yer bottle Rodders, I must admit.
18:47You've been in the business five minutes
18:48and already you've opened up a Spanish branch.
18:54You've cornered the world market
18:55on broken lawn mower engines.
18:58What's your partner doing now,
18:59is he buying second-hand pedalos?
19:02- No, no, no, nothing like that, no.
19:04We're going into the self-catering holiday trade.
19:08- Cor, what on 200 nicker?
19:10- Yeah well, we're starting in a small way.
19:12- What you got, a Wendy House?
19:21- Grandad, I am not prepared to discuss
19:23the situation any longer, alright.
19:26It's confidential information.
19:29- I understand Rodney, no, no, I understand.
19:34Well, I'm off out.
19:36- Where you going?
19:37- Well, I thought I might go down
19:38and have a couple of light ales down the Nag's Head,
19:40and then go on to the Star of Bengal for a Ruby Murray.
19:45Coming?
19:46- I'm potless, ain't I?
19:47- What?
19:48- Ah no, no, I really ought to stay in
19:51and do the company accounts, I suppose.
19:53- Oh, here they are.
19:55-[Rodney] Oh, cheers.
20:13- You don't really think I'm that hard do you, Rodney?
20:17- Na.
20:19- No, of course I'm not.
20:21- Oh, cheers Del.
20:24- Grandad, do him them egg and chips, will you?
20:29(sitar music)
20:43- Oi Tony.
20:45None of the boys been in?
20:46-[Waiter] I haven't seen any of them, Del.
20:48Oh, young Towser's just come in for a take-away.
20:50- Oh has he, oh yeah.
20:52Oi, Towser.
20:54Towser!
20:56(Del whistling)
20:58Sorry madam, yer onion bhaji's down there by yer foot.
21:03-[Towser] Hello Del, how's it going?
21:04- Alright my son, sit down and have yourself a papadum.
21:06- Now, listen, I can't get involved.
21:07I'm getting the missus a takeaway
21:08and I wanna get home tonight.
21:09- Come on, you've got time for a drink.
21:11Go on, sit down.
21:12- Oh cheers.
21:12- Listen, I'm glad I bumped into you.
21:14I want you to do me a favor.
21:15- What's that?
21:16- No, sit down, sit down.
21:18You know those broken lawn mower engines
21:19that dozy twonk Rodney got himself lumbered with?
21:22- Yeah, what about 'em?
21:23- I want you to buy 'em off him.
21:25- You want me to do what?
21:26Do me a favor, Del.
21:28Alfie Flowers offered me them engines a month ago.
21:30I don't want nothing to do with 'em.
21:32- It's alright, it's alright.
21:33Now listen, you don't have to spend any money.
21:36I'll give you the money.
21:38There you are, see that, look 200 quid.
21:41I want you to offer him that.
21:42- 200?
21:43Here, they're only worth about a score, scrap value.
21:47- I know but I want him to think he's made a good profit.
21:50Look, he's had a bad week.
21:51He's been tucked up something chronic
21:52by that best mate of his and now he's brassic.
21:54- Why don't you just give him the money?
21:56- Cause it'll seem like charity, won't it, eh?
22:00- Yeah and he'd be too proud to accept it?
22:02- No, he'd snap it up like a shot.
22:05Look, I want him to think that he's been successful.
22:10I want him to believe that he's proved me wrong.
22:13It's important, Towser.
22:16- Alright then Del, if that's what you want.
22:18- You're a pal.
22:21'Ere don't let him know that I'm behind all this.
22:25Look, you say to him that you got this contact
22:27in the GLC Parks Department and, uh,
22:29they can't get enough lawn mower engines,
22:31something like that.
22:32You see, the thing is I'm not going to lose out on the deal
22:35because come this time tomorrow
22:37Rodney'll want to be my partner again
22:39and I will get my money back.
22:42See?
22:43- Hey, wait a minute.
22:45What am I going to do with all these engines?
22:47- Well, I don't know, dump 'em somewhere.
22:48- Oh no, no, I couldn't do that, Del.
22:50I mean, I got nicked for fly-dumping a couple of months ago.
22:53I mean, they're gonna chuck the book at me this time.
22:55- Right, I'll tell you what to do,
22:56take 'em back to Alfie Flowers and tell him
22:58that he can have 'em for nothing.
23:00- Yeah, alright Del.
23:02Here, hang about, what's in it for me?
23:09- Give you 15 for it.
23:11- Oh yeah.
23:12- 20.
23:14- That'll do.
23:15- Thank you.
23:16- Anything for a mate.
23:20- I wouldn't pay that bill if I were you.
23:23-[Waiter] Thank you Del, good morning.
23:31- Alright, Rodders?
23:32- Yeah.
23:36- Here, look I've had a right blinding day.
23:37Look at that dough.
23:38Er, I must tell ya.
23:40There's a really silly bloke down the market today.
23:42Think he must have come from the funny farm.
23:44He was really silly.
23:45I said to him, I said, here do you wanna buy
23:47some broken lawn mower engines?
23:49Then he said to me, I ain't that silly.
23:53- For your information, Derek, this morning I successfully
23:57negotiated the sale of them engines to Young Towser.
24:01- You're kidding me?
24:02- No, on my life, he's bought the lot.
24:05He's got a contact in the Parks Department at the GLC.
24:08- Cor, well that's a stroke of luck then, innit?
24:10- No, no, it's not luck Del.
24:12That is good business sense.
24:15I knew all the time if I held on long enough
24:17I'd get my price.
24:18- Yeah, well, I must say I admire your courage, Rodders.
24:21- Oh well, he who dares wins.
24:26- Yeah, that's right.
24:28So well, that Mickey Pearce, he's going to be pleased
24:31when he comes back off holiday ain't he, eh?
24:32- Now, don't you talk to me about that Mickey Pearce.
24:34I've liquidated our partnership.
24:37- Oh, so what you gonna do then?
24:40I mean still carry on, on your own like?
24:44- Well, I was thinking...
24:48Oh, you know.
24:51- Go back as we was, eh, you and me?
24:54- Yeah, you and me Del, eh?
24:56And now I've got experience of buying and selling meself.
25:00- Yeah, that could be invaluable, Rodders.
25:03Yeah, okay then, come on let's pool our resources.
25:06There we go.
25:07Now then, how much did you get for them lawn mower engines?
25:11- 165 pounds.
25:17- Is that all you got for 'em, Rodney?
25:19- Well, it's not bad Del, cause they're only worth
25:21what, a score, scrap value.
25:24- You certainly have learnt a lot, ain't you Rodders?
25:27Okay, let's see the color of your money.
25:29- Oh, I ain't got it.
25:31- What d'you mean, Towser didn't pay you?
25:33- Oh yeah, he paid me, but I've invested the money.
25:36- You did what?
25:37- I went down to Alfie Flowers yard,
25:38got us another load of lawn mower engines.
25:52- You're joking, tell me that you're joking?
25:54- No, well if Towser's bloke at the GLC,
25:57well, he can't get enough of them engines.
25:59Oh, I'll tell you I was dead lucky down at Alfie's.
26:02He'd had another load delivered this morning.
26:06But don't worry, though, cause they're exactly
26:07the same as the others.
26:12- You bet your life they're the same.
26:16What a 42-carat plonker you really are.
26:22- Come on Del, don't you think it's time
26:23you showed a bit of faith in me?
26:26- Yes, anything you say, Rodney.
26:28Anything you say.
26:30- Good.
26:31Oi, Del, I was wondering now that we're partners again
26:34d'you think you could help me out?
26:36Eh, cause I ain't had a pint all week.
26:40All I've had to eat is Grandad's cooking and look,
26:43the sole's coming off me best Gucci, look.
26:47- Yeah, I'll help you out, Rodders.
26:50Put that round yer Gucci, it will stop the sole coming off!
27:00♫ We've got some half priced cracked ice
27:02♫ And miles and miles of carpet tiles
27:03♫ TV's, deep freeze and David Bowie LP's
27:06♫ Pool games, gold chains, wosnames
27:09♫ And at a push
27:10♫ Some Trevor Francis track-suits
27:11♫ From a mush in Shepherds Bush,
27:12♫ Bush, Bush, Bush, Bush, Bush, Bush, Bush
27:15♫ No income tax, no VAT
27:18♫ No money back, no guarantee
27:22♫ Black or white, rich or broke
27:25♫ We'll cut prices at a stroke
27:30♫ God bless Hooky Street
27:32♫ Viva Hooky Street
27:35♫ Long live Hooky Street
27:38♫ C'est magnifique Hooky Street
27:42♫ Magnifique Hooky Street
27:46♫ Hooky Street
27:49♫ Hooky Street