Only Fools and Horses S03E06 — Wanted

Every line from “Wanted” (682 quotes). Click one to open the meme editor on the exact frame, ready to caption and share.

00:00(upbeat music)
00:03♫ Stick a pony in me pocket
00:06♫ I'll fetch the suitcase from the van
00:10♫ 'Cause if you want the best ones
00:12♫ But you don't ask questions
00:14♫ Then brother, I'm your man
00:17♫ Cause where it all comes from is a mystery
00:21♫ It's like the changing of the seasons
00:23♫ And the tides of the sea
00:25♫ But here's the one that's driving me berserk
00:29♫ Why do only fools and horses work
00:32♫ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
00:36♫ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
00:42- Whatchu reckon?
00:44- They're all right, ain't they?
00:46Don't 'alf look alike?
00:48- They're identical twins! - Yeah?
00:51Which one do you fancy?
00:52- I'm easy!
00:56- Are you sure that's not one
00:57bird sitting next to a mirror?
00:58(audience laughing)
01:00- No they're sisters or something.
01:01They've been here before!
01:04Go on then!
01:06- What? - Say something!
01:10- What? (audience laughing)
01:12- I don't know, anything!
01:16- Like what?
01:18- Just say the first thing that comes into your head.
01:20It's easy!
01:24- All right then, if it's so easy, you say something.
01:27- What? - Anything, it's easy!
01:31- All right then I will.
01:35- Well go on then!
01:36- I will.
01:40Oi! (audience laughing)
01:43There you are.
01:46- Was that it?
01:48- Yeah!
01:49- Oi? - Yeah.
01:52- You're a right little John Travolta
01:53when you get going, ain't yer Mickey?
01:55- They looked didn't they?
01:56- Of course they looked, someone just shouted oi at them!
01:58(audience laughing)
02:00- Hold up, they're looking over here.
02:03- Hello, I think we've cracked it Mickey, my son!
02:09- Watch it, Rodders, all right Michael, my son?
02:12Who you two after?
02:14Oh, not the gruesome twosome, are you?
02:16- They're all right!
02:17- What do you mean, all right?
02:18Look, they're so ugly they even look alike!
02:20(audience laughing)
02:21- Del, they happen to be two sisters!
02:24- Oh, sisters, yeah.
02:26Oi girls, seen much of Cinderella since the wedding?
02:29(laughs)
02:31Cinderella!
02:32Ugly sisters, that's a good 'un innit Rodders, eh?
02:36Anyway, look, I won't hang about
02:37'cause I don't wanna spoil your chances!
02:39Hello darling, you all right?
02:40Are you still working at Sainsbury's?
02:42See you, just a minute.
02:46- I'll see you Tuesday then?
02:48- See you Tuesday!
02:52(mumbling) (whistling)
02:59(audience laughing)
03:02♫ You made me love you
03:07♫ I didn't want to do it
03:10- You okay love? - Who is it?
03:13- Shall I phone you a cab?
03:15- No, there'll be a bus along in a minute, my lovely!
03:18- No, no, ain't got no buses going along here.
03:22No, they cut the route in about 1973.
03:25I'll get you a nice taxi, eh?
03:27- Oh, no, I shall be all right.
03:30- Oi, oi, careful!
03:32- What you doing?
03:33- I was just steadying you that's all!
03:35- You touched me!
03:38- Eh? - I've read about your sort!
03:40- Hey, hold on, I was just trying
03:41to stop you from falling flat on your face!
03:43- I'll have the police on you!
03:44You touched me.
03:46- No, I didn't, honest!
03:48- Help!
03:49- What you doing?
03:50Don't shout! - You touched me!
03:53- No, no, it's all right 'cause I'm a doctor!
03:57(audience laughing)
04:00- You're not a doctor!
04:02- I am, I am really!
04:05All right, say ah!
04:06- Ah!
04:08- No, not that loud, bloody hell!
04:13Look, I tell you what I'm just going back
04:15to the van right, to get a thermometer!
04:18All right listen!
04:20- Help, help!
04:21Rape!
04:22Rape!
04:23Help, help!
04:24(audience laughing)
04:30- Del Boy, your breakfast's ready!
04:33-[Del] Yeah, hang on a minute!
04:34Come on Rodney, shake a leg, six o'clock!
04:37-[Grandad] It's on the table.
04:38- Nothing like a traditional British breakfast, is there?
04:41-[Grandad] That's right.
04:44- Gordon Bennett. (audience laughing)
04:47Why don't you try cooking one every now and then?
04:50Blimey, it looks like a bad day at the Blue Cross.
04:54- Was you two all right last night?
04:56- Hm?
04:57Yeah, of course, why?
04:58- Well, when Rodney came in he was behaving very strangely.
05:03He was all trembling and sweating.
05:06- No, he's probably all right, don't worry,
05:08it's just the start of the mating season.
05:09(audience laughing)
05:11- No Del, something's up.
05:14Ain't you eating that?
05:15- No, Grandad, see I'm on a diet.
05:19Thanks. (plate clinks)
05:20Oops.
05:21- Rodney, your breakfast's ready.
05:23(audience laughing)
05:29- Ah, all right, Rodders?
05:31- What d'you mean all right?
05:33- Nothing nothing, just all right Rodders?
05:36- Yeah, I'm fine, why shouldn't I be all right?
05:38- No reason.
05:39I just said like, all right Rodders.
05:40Like I say, you know, all right every morning don't I?
05:44- Yeah, sorry.
05:46- That's all right.
05:48What did you do when you left the pub last night?
05:50- What makes you think I did something?
05:51- Gordon Bennett!
05:54No, I mean, I just asked you like if you went on anywhere?
05:56If, you met anyone or anything?
05:58- No, no, I didn't.
05:59I come straight home.
06:00Didn't meet anyone, didn't talk to anyone.
06:02A very uneventful journey!
06:04- That's all right, as long as you enjoyed yourself!
06:06Go on, get that down, come on, we've got to get away early.
06:09Got to pick up the van from the Nag's Head.
06:10- Why?
06:11- Eh?
06:12Well, when we fell out the pub last night
06:14the whole area was teeming with the Old Bill!
06:17I mean, they were all there.
06:18There was the Flying Squad, Alsatians and the SGB!
06:23Anyway, I thought to myself, I thought,
06:24there's no way I'm driving home through that lot.
06:26Not with me like being as soppy as a sack,
06:28so I, you know, I got a cab!
06:31- Did they have a clear description of him?
06:32- Who?
06:33- The man they were after?
06:35- Who said they were after a man?
06:37- Oh, I just assumed they were looking
06:38for someone that's all.
06:40- See what I mean?
06:42- Yeah.
06:45All right Rodney, come on sit down.
06:48Something bothering you ain't there?
06:49- No!
06:50- Has somebody threatened you?
06:52If they have, you tell me their name
06:53and I'll go and sort them out before we go to the market!
06:57- It's nothing like that.
06:59- You might as well tell us
07:00sooner rather than later, Rodney.
07:01It'll save a lot of time.
07:05- Oh it's probably nothing.
07:09My journey home last night was
07:11not as uneventful as I made out.
07:13There was this woman.
07:17Well, she weren't feeling very well, see.
07:19I don't know what was wrong with her,
07:20but she stunk of booze.
07:23So I stopped, right, to ask if she wanted
07:25any assistance and she started acting all sort of odd.
07:31- Odd?
07:32- Yeah um, screaming.
07:37Shouting things.
07:39- What kind of things?
07:41- Oh, things like rape, you know, that sort of thing.
07:49So to try and reassure her and calm her down,
07:53I told her I was a doctor.
07:56- You told her you were a.
07:58You didn't give her a prescription or nothing, did you?
08:00- Oh no, nothing like that!
08:02- Why was she accusing you of these things?
08:06- Well, I think 'cause at one point right,
08:09she stumbled forward.
08:10So I put my hands out to stop, you know.
08:14I didn't touch her!
08:15Well no, obviously I did touch her,
08:18but I didn't, you know, honest.
08:22- All right, all right, Rodney.
08:24Okay, take it nice and easy, all right.
08:27This is gonna take a bit of working out.
08:31- What did this woman look like?
08:34- Well she was blonde, 45 and her hair had black roots
08:40and purple fingernails and she was really heavily made-up.
08:46- Did she call you my lovely?
08:48- Yeah, d'you know her?
08:50- No, no, no, you didn't catch her,
08:53you didn't catch her name or nothing did you?
08:55- No.
08:56Oh she was wearing an identity
08:58necklace that said something like Blossom.
09:02(audience laughing)
09:08Del, honestly, I did not touch her I swear to God.
09:13- You expect me to believe that?
09:15(audience laughing)
09:17- Yes!
09:19- All right, let's go through the facts, shall we?
09:22After a night's drinking,
09:24on your way home you meet a sick woman.
09:28And instead of phoning for an ambulance
09:30like any right minded citizen, you touch her!
09:34What do you think you've got, healing hands?
09:35(audience laughing)
09:37- I don't believe you're saying this to me!
09:40- No, no, no, this is not me, Rodney!
09:41That is what the council for the prosecution
09:43will say during his cross-examination.
09:46- You don't think it will go to court?
09:48- Oh it's a pound to a penny, Rodney.
09:50I mean, the police don't let matters like this drop lightly.
09:54- No, Old Bailey would be my bet.
09:57The case of the Peckham Pouncer!
10:00(audience laughing)
10:02- Who called me the Peckham Pouncer?
10:03- Look, the police did last night!
10:05You see at the time, well, I didn't think nothing of it.
10:08- Why don't you give yourself up, Rodney?
10:11- What, I ain't giving myself up!
10:14You ever seen some of them detectives
10:15give someone the third degree on the telly?
10:18Well, one of them pretends he really wants to beat you up
10:20bad right, and the other pretends to be Mr. Nice!
10:23So it's, you know.
10:25- Yeah perhaps you're right.
10:26After all, you've got form ain't yer?
10:28I mean, you still ain't finished
10:29that two year suspended yet.
10:33- No, I'd forgotten about that!
10:37- It's the others what worry me!
10:39- What others?
10:41- Well, last night there were mobs of vigilantes
10:43roaming the street and they were shouting things like
10:46"Lynch him, lynch him!"
10:48(audience laughing)
10:51At the time, I didn't think nothing much of it, you know.
10:55- Well maybe it would be better if I did give myself up then
10:58'cause all they've got is circumstantial evidence.
11:00- Circumstantial?
11:02A sick woman is attacked at night
11:04by a known criminal posing as a doctor!
11:10- D'you know what they'd call me if I went in the nick?
11:13I'd be a beast!
11:16- Beast?
11:18- Well, that's what the other prisoners call people like me.
11:22Everywhere I went the walls would
11:23be whispering beast, beast.
11:29There'd be posses of them waiting for me
11:30in the shower room, there'd be razors in me soap,
11:34there'd be broken glass in me porridge.
11:37- Oh you'll soon learn to adapt, Rodney!
11:39(audience laughing)
11:43- No, it's not fair Del!
11:44I swear to God I didn't touch her.
11:46I was only trying to help!
11:47- All right Rodney, all right.
11:48Now come on, take it easy, relax, all right?
11:52Now listen, I'll tell you what I'm going to do.
11:53I want to go out, put me ear to the ground,
11:54see what I can find out.
11:55In the meantime I want you to go and get some
11:57kip and above all, stop worrying.
12:03- Yeah.
12:05I am innocent Del, honest!
12:08- I believe you!
12:10(audience laughing)
12:11- So do I, Rodney!
12:26D'you reckon he done it, Del?
12:34(Del laughing)
12:42- Leave it out, Grandad!
12:44All he's done, he's just bumped into Blossom, that's all.
12:47- I don't understand you?
12:48- Well she's well-known for this sort of thing.
12:51She's as nutty as a fruit cake.
12:54She spends most of her time in the Happy Home,
12:57they only let her out at weekends to get a bit of practice.
13:01- You mean she's always accusing blokes
13:02of doing this sort of thing?
13:04- Yes, it's her hobby!
13:07She's well known to the police.
13:09- But why didn't you tell young Rodney?
13:11- (laughs) What, and spoil all the fun?
13:14No way.
13:15I'm gonna wind him right up with this one.
13:18By this time tomorrow evening I'll have him
13:19believing that all these flats are under siege.
13:23- You wanna be a bit careful, Del Boy!
13:25A joke's a joke but you never know when to stop.
13:28What about that April Fool's day?
13:30You told me the pools had rung
13:31to say I'd won 'alf a million!
13:33(Del laughs)
13:35- Yeah that was a belter, weren't it?
13:38- Oh wonderful!
13:40But you could've least stopped
13:41me going up West with me pension money!
13:46Oh it wasn't funny Del.
13:48I mean there was I, in a Soho night-club drinking champagne,
13:51with a bird called Camilla and I suddenly realized
13:54I didn't even do the bloody pools!
13:56(audience laughing)
14:00- Stop it!
14:08(chuckling)
14:11You should have seen his little face!
14:13It was a picture.
14:14I wish I'd had a camera!
14:16- How could he swallow that, eh?
14:17- Well, you know Rodney, don't you?
14:18He said he was thinking
14:19of forming an appeal committee.
14:20I said you ain't worry about that.
14:21You ought to form an escape committee I said.
14:23(laughs)
14:26- I thought that everyone round
14:27here knew what Old Blossom was like.
14:30She accused my cousin once!
14:32- Who's that, young Sidney?
14:33- No, Marilyn!
14:35There again, Marilyn's always been a bit of a Tom Boy!
14:38- Oh yeah, it was a crew cut,
14:39braces and a pipe last time I saw her!
14:42- She still up at Greenham Common?
14:44Here, are you playing Trigger or what?
14:45- No, I'll be away in a minute.
14:47- Of course, this Blossom person
14:49is completely loopy, you know?
14:51Oh yes, I don't think they should be allowed out!
14:53- Oh yeah, why's that?
14:54- Well they might be a danger to the public!
14:57- Still selling them second-hand cars Boycie?
15:00- Oh yeah, I knocked out a couple ...
15:03(audience laughing)
15:08Of course, I have heard she receives
15:10electrode treatment, you know.
15:12Oh yes, every three months or so they
15:14take her away and plug her head into the National Grid.
15:18The lights have been known to dim as far away as Watford.
15:22- Yeah but they reckon she's as sane
15:24as anyone when they're finished!
15:25- Yeah, until she gets her electric bill.
15:27(laughing)
15:29- Del! - Hm?
15:30- A call for you. - Oh.
15:32Excuse me, chaps, won't be a moment.
15:34Oh Karen, can we have three large scotches?
15:36Boycie's paying.
15:37- Oh cheers, Boycie.
15:38- Hello?
15:40Oh hello, Grandad!
15:42You what?
15:43What about Rodney?
15:46What d'you mean he's gone on the run?
15:49Why?
15:51Oh leave it off, Grandad, it was just a joke!
15:56Yeah all right, all right now don't, don't panic,
16:00he'll be home when he's hungry
16:01and he wants something to eat.
16:06Oh has he?
16:08All right, all right Grandad, don't worry.
16:11I'll tell you what I'll do.
16:12I'll go and have a look round for him
16:13and I'll be home in about an hour.
16:16Yeah, all right, bye.
16:20-[Trigger] What's up Del?
16:22- It's that dipstick Rodney.
16:25He's only gone on the run, ain't he?
16:27Reckons he's found a secret hiding place!
16:30- Where?
16:31- Well how do I know? (audience laughing)
16:32If I knew where it was it wouldn't be
16:34a secret would it, eh?
16:36- No, I meant there must be a clue!
16:39- Yeah, well, he left a note saying it's no good
16:40trying to find him 'cause he'd be in the last place
16:42anyone would think of looking for him.
16:43- Have you tried under his bed?
16:45(audience laughing)
16:46- He'll be home as soon as he gets hungry.
16:48- No he won't, Grandad reckons he's taken
16:50all the tinned food from the cupboard.
16:52- So, what are you gonna do then, Del?
16:54- I don't know Trigger, I just don't know!
16:57- Ain't got nothing in the freezer then?
16:59(laughing)
17:12- Any luck Del?
17:14- No, no sign of him, Grandad.
17:18-[Grandad] Where did you look?
17:20- I've been everywhere.
17:22I've been traipsing round Charing Cross,
17:24Soho, Leicester Square.
17:27Oh, you want to see what it's like up
17:28there in the early hours, Grandad.
17:29It's like the end of the world.
17:32It's full of drug addicts, glue-sniffers, winos.
17:36D'you know what, if a nightingale sang now
17:39in Berkeley Square someone would eat it!
17:41(audience laughing)
17:42- Bad night, eh Del?
17:44- Yeah, very bad.
17:46D'you know I've been offered everything from
17:4850 quid for me passport to a plate of Magic Mushrooms?
17:51(sniffs) You cooking something?
17:54- No!
17:55- What's that horrible smell then?
17:56Sweet and sickly?
17:58- Oh, perhaps it's this aftershave I've got on!
18:02- (sniffs) Gordon Bennett!
18:04Where d'you get that from?
18:05- Out of your room!
18:06(audience laughing)
18:08- Well, that can't be it then, can it?
18:10- Oh, I know the smell you're talking about.
18:12It was here last night.
18:14Everyone in the flats was moaning about it.
18:19Here, why don't you get some sleep, Del Boy.
18:22- No, I'll be all right, Grandad.
18:23I'll have a cup of tea and have another punt round for him.
18:26Where can he be?
18:29- I had a note from him here somewhere,
18:31he said he's in the last place you'll ever think of looking.
18:33- Yeah I know, I remember!
18:35You have looked under his bed haven't yer?
18:37- First place I checked.
18:41- Well he's hardly likely
18:41to be in that bloody drawer is he?
18:44- I'm looking for the note!
18:45Now don't you get funny with me Del,
18:47this is your fault, you and your silly jokes!
18:49- I know, I was gonna tell him this morning.
18:52- Well you could have told him yesterday.
18:53Instead of that you sat there playing
18:55your Johnny Cash Live at San Quentin LP!
18:59- All right, don't go on at me, don't go on.
19:01I feel bad enough as it is!
19:03(sniffs) But what is that smell?
19:06I've smelt it before somewhere!
19:08- I know, so did I. - When?
19:10- I told you, last night! - No, no, no, before that.
19:14(sniffing)
19:15- It seems to be coming from the ventilating system.
19:18(sniffing)
19:23- Grandad, go and get them chicken legs out the fridge.
19:27I think I know where Rodney's hiding.
19:41Rodney?
19:44Rodney, it's Del Boy.
19:48Rodney, I know you're in here.
19:52Rodney, don't be a plonker all your life!
19:54(audience laughing)
19:58Listen, I can explain everything,
20:01there's nothing to be frightened of.
20:04I've got, got some scotch here, something to eat.
20:09(can clangs)
20:12- Meow. (audience laughing)
20:19- Or if you prefer I could get a saucer of milk?
20:25Come on, least we can talk about it cant we?
20:28(loud banging)
20:29Hey now, oi, that is you innit Rodney?
20:33-[Rodney] No, it's that cat again.
20:51- You had me going there for a minute, know what I mean?
20:55- How did you know I was here?
20:58- I know a lot of things, Rodney.
21:01Like I know you've been smoking your funny fags again.
21:05- No I ain't Del, honest I ain't touch.
21:10Well, a couple.
21:12- I tell you that was the give away, you see.
21:15The smell from your exotic tobacco
21:17has been wafting down the air ducts.
21:21There's not a man, woman or child
21:23that isn't high as a kite.
21:24(audience laughing)
21:27- You're kidding?
21:28- No I'm not.
21:29If you stand outside this tower block
21:31all you can hear is giggling.
21:35Grandad's calling everybody man.
21:41He's thinking of growing his hair in dreadlocks.
21:43(audience laughing)
21:45- Is Grandad okay?
21:47- Yeah he's all right.
21:49He's worried about you though.
21:52What are you doing up here?
21:54- Nothing much.
21:56Not a lot to do in a tank room, Del.
21:59I mean you can look at the view
22:00but that gets a bit boring after eight hours or so.
22:02- I wasn't, wasn't asking about your activities.
22:05I was speaking meterorically.
22:08(audience laughing)
22:16What you playing at?
22:18- Playing at?
22:20Well, Del this is a little game
22:21called Not Going to Prison.
22:24The rules are ever so easy you know.
22:25All you gotta do is find yourself
22:27a place to hide and stay there till you die.
22:31- Don't reckon it will catch on, Rodney.
22:34- You could be right there Del,
22:37but I'll tell you something.
22:38If necessary, I will shoot my way out of this room.
22:41- Oh so while you've been up here,
22:42you've been making a gun have you?
22:46- Well, I'll throw tins at 'em then.
22:49- Yeah, well, you could get an empty can couldn't you,
22:51you know and you could like, splash 'em to death.
22:56- I ain't had nothing to eat since I've been up here.
23:00- Why's that, you been too frightened?
23:02- No, I forgot the tin-opener.
23:03(audience laughing)
23:08- Well why didn't you pop down for it?
23:11- Del, desperate men on the run
23:12don't pop home to borrow a tin-opener!
23:17Anyway, going without food ain't so bad.
23:19People like us get used to it.
23:21- Oh come on, don't give me all that James Cagney stuff!
23:25"Look at me Ma!
23:26"I'm on top of the World Ma!
23:28"Look I'm in the tank room Ma!"
23:30- Why don't you shut up!
23:35- You hungry?
23:36-[Rodney] Yeah.
23:38- Here you are.
23:40Get that down your neck.
23:42- Oh cheers, Del.
23:44Great.
23:48Oi, have the police been round to
23:50question you and Grandad yet?
23:52- Uh, no.
23:54- Good, good.
23:55That means they ain't on my trail yet,
23:57gives me a bit of time!
23:59- Yeah, Rodney, I've got to explain something like,
24:04well, this is sort of like, confession time.
24:07You know that woman you met, Blossom?
24:09- Yeah?
24:12- Well she's mad, Rodney.
24:17- I'm not with you.
24:19- She's mad, you know.
24:21She's well-known to the Old Bill.
24:23They don't take no notice of her.
24:27- No, you're lying to me.
24:29- No, no, I'm not.
24:29No I'm not, look, look, cross my heart, swear to die.
24:33You remember old man Corby?
24:34Well a couple weeks ago she accused him of assaulting her.
24:37Well, I mean, he was so surprised
24:38he nearly fell off his wheelchair.
24:40(audience laughing)
24:42- All right then, all right then.
24:44You explain this to me.
24:45What were all them police doing outside the pub that night?
24:48- Well that was the, that was the mods and the skinheads,
24:50they were at it in the kebab house!
24:52Terrible scenes, for all I could hear.
24:53I mean there was chairs going through the windows,
24:57there was chili sauce up the wall.
24:59Somebody knocked over a frying pan
25:01and the staff rest room went up in flames.
25:05- No, I don't believe you, Del.
25:06You're just trying to get me to come quietly.
25:08- No I'm not.
25:10Look, go on then, go on, look out,
25:11look out there look, go on.
25:13Now, you see the kebab house?
25:17- No.
25:18- Exactly, it ain't there no more!
25:21What further proof do you need?
25:24- No Del, I don't understand this!
25:25You mean there's been no photofit pictures,
25:29no house-to-house searches, no public outcry?
25:33- No, none at all!
25:36Here, look, d'you want some water with yer scotch?
25:39- No!
25:45Then why did you tell me I'd go away for 10 years
25:47as a special category prisoner,
25:50that they'd nicknamed me the Peckham Pouncer?
25:52(audience laughing)
25:53That there were gangs of men roaming the streets
25:55looking to hang me from the nearest lamp post!
26:00- For a laugh.
26:00(audience laughing)
26:05- A laugh?
26:08- It was just a bit of a wind up that's all.
26:12- Del, I haven't slept, I'm starving hungry
26:15and I've been freezing my boots off
26:18in this tank room because of your bloody wind up!
26:23- You take things too seriously,
26:24that's your trouble, Rodney!
26:28- I'm gonna kill you!
26:29- No, no, no, don't be silly!
26:30- No, really, I mean it.
26:31I'm gonna kill you right now!
26:32- Now just a minute, now just a minute.
26:34All right now, I realize that I took the joke too far
26:38and I should have told you earlier,
26:41and I'm sorry Rodney, I really am.
26:49- I'm still gonna kill you.
26:51- Look, I've been all over London looking for you!
26:54I've been in more doss-houses than a tramp's vest!
26:59- So that's where you were going so late that night, eh?
27:02I saw you drive off.
27:04- You saw me?
27:05Why didn't you say something?
27:06- Del, I'm a desperate man on the run.
27:08I can hardly lean out and go woo ooh, Del!
27:10(audience laughing)
27:15- No, I suppose you can't.
27:19Listen Rodney, I feel you know, I feel really sorry
27:22for all the aggro that I've caused you.
27:25I'd like to try and make it up to you,
27:27let's say I take you out
27:29and I buy you a big slap upmeal, eh?
27:33- Yeah? - Yeah.
27:35Yeah, with the wine, all the works.
27:39- I mean look at these clothes.
27:43- That's all right.
27:44Come on, I'll buy you a new suit.
27:46- Yeah? - Yeah.
27:48- Yeah, but then I'd look silly,
27:49you know brand-new suit and these dirty old plimsolls!
27:54- Don't you bloody come it, Rodney!
27:55(audience laughing)
28:00Come on, come here.
28:02Come on I'll buy a new pair of rhythm and blues as well.
28:06Hey, how's that?
28:09- Yeah, all right.
28:11- That's a good boy, good boy.
28:14You know it makes sense, don't you?
28:18- All in the past, eh?
28:19- Yeah, all in the past.
28:21Cheers.
28:27- Look at the state of me.
28:30- Don't worry.
28:31You'll have a nice hot shower when you get down the flat.
28:34- Oh, I don't fancy standing under that water, Del.
28:36Not after what I've been doing in it.
28:38(audience laughing)
28:46(audience applauding)
28:49♫ We've got some half price cracked ice
28:51♫ And miles and miles of carpet tiles
28:53♫ TVs, deep freeze and David Bowie LPs
28:56♫ Ball games, gold chains, wosnames
28:57♫ And at a push some Trevor Francis track suits
29:00♫ From a mush in Shepherds Bush, bush, bush, bush, bush
29:05♫ No income tax, no VAT
29:08♫ No money back, no guarantee
29:11♫ Black or white, rich or poor
29:14♫ We'll cut prices at a stroke
29:19♫ God bless Hooky Street
29:22♫ Viva Hooky Street
29:25♫ Long live Hooky Street
29:27♫ C'est magnifique, Hooky Street
29:31♫ Magnifique, Hooky Street
29:36♫ Hooky Street
29:39♫ Hooky Street
29:42♫ Hooky Street