Only Fools and Horses S04E02 — Strained Relations

Every line from “Strained Relations” (671 quotes). Click one to open the meme editor on the exact frame, ready to caption and share.

00:03♫ Stick a pony in me pocket
00:07♫ I'll fetch the suitcase from the van
00:10♫ 'Cos if you want the best ones
00:12♫ But you don't ask questions
00:14♫ Then brother, I'm your man
00:18♫ 'Cos where it all comes from is a mystery
00:21♫ It's like the changing of the seasons
00:23♫ And the tides of the sea
00:26♫ But here's the one that's driving me berserk
00:29♫ Why do only fools and horses work
00:33♫ La la la
00:34♫ La la la la
00:44(birds cawing)
01:08- All right, Trig?
01:08- Yeah, I'm all right.
01:11Um...
01:14Well.
01:17Uh.
01:18- Yes, all right, I know Trig, I know mate.
01:23You going back to the flat, are you?
01:25- Yeah, I'm coming back.
01:25- Yeah.
01:27Do us a favor will you?
01:29Go and open up.
01:31Yeah, I got one or two things to do.
01:34Gotta bung the vicar a couple of quid, that sort of thing.
01:37Um, see the three over there?
01:41They're the North London branch of the family.
01:44Make 'em welcome, will ya?
01:47Keep your eye on them, eh?
01:49- Yeah, sure.
01:51- Thanks.
01:52Cheers, Trig.
02:08(blows nose)
02:15- I love a nice funeral.
02:19- Why don't you hang about, there's two more after this.
02:34(blows nose)
03:06- Sorry.
03:37- We'll leave the car shall we, eh?
03:40- Yeah. (sniffs)
03:42We'll have a nice little walk, eh?
03:45- Yeah.
03:47Come on, let's have a nice walk, eh?
03:48Come on.
03:56Oi!
03:58Gently.
04:10- Well Michael, how's business in the pub?
04:14- Oh, Not bad Boycie, not bad.
04:16Oh, you didn't hear, did you?
04:17Thursday night some berk nicked me cigarette machine.
04:20- Never! - Yeah.
04:21- What about that sonic burglar alarm Del Boy sold ya?
04:24- Oh yeah.
04:25They nicked that and all.
04:28(Boycie laughing)
04:32(Boycie coughs)
04:38- Just make some excuse, Stan.
04:40Say we're in a hurry or something.
04:42- But it's a funeral, love.
04:44- We've gotta get all the way back to North London.
04:47If we don't leave now we'll cop the rush hour.
04:50- Look, I don't wanna go back to their flat either, Jean,
04:52but I'm family.
04:54- I wanna go back there.
04:56He was my brother.
04:58- It's got nothing to do with you Uncle Albert,
04:59so stay out of it.
05:01- What do you mean he was your brother?
05:02You and him didn't talk to each other for years.
05:05- Me and your Aunt Ada didn't talk to each other for years,
05:08but she was still me wife.
05:11- Come on, we'll go back for a half hour, show our respect.
05:15Anyway, we'd only have him whining all the way home.
05:21Don't you dare light that pipe in my car.
05:27- It was a lovely service, Vicar.
05:29- Thank you very much, thank you.
05:34Oh, has anyone seen my hat?
05:36It was here.
05:45- Right, here we go, here you are love.
05:46Come on, come on, get stuck in here, will you?
05:48- Ooh, lovely, thank you.
05:50- Where's the cake and candles, Del?
05:52- The what?
05:53- No matter.
05:55- Wait.
05:57- So the Chinese bird says to him,
05:59"Listen, I ain't cooking at this time of night."
06:01(Boycie and Mike laugh)
06:05- Was that true?
06:06- Oh, have a day off, Trigger.
06:17- Well, everyone seems to be enjoying themselves, eh Trig?
06:20- Yeah, it's a good do, Dave.
06:20- Yeah.
06:23I don't believe you mob sometimes.
06:27You got any fags on you, Trig?
06:29- Yeah.
06:37What sort d'you fancy?
06:38- Any'll do.
06:40- Here we are.
06:42Keep 'em, I've got loads.
06:44- Cheers.
06:45- Cheers, Dave.
06:48- Rodney, innit?
06:49- Well, it is when Trigger ain't about, yeah.
06:51- Uncle Albert.
06:53Well Great Uncle Albert really.
06:54I'm yer Grandad's brother.
06:56- Yeah, yeah, he told me about you.
06:58But, you know, I don't take no notice of that sort of thing.
07:01- No, no, it's best not to, son.
07:03Shame, really.
07:04Me and him lost touch with each other years ago.
07:07I spent most of my life at sea, you know.
07:09Royal Navy, Merchant.
07:11D'you know, I was torpedoed five times.
07:13- Yeah?
07:14- Yeah.
07:15D'you know what the crews nicknamed me?
07:17- Jonah?
07:21- No, they didn't call me Jonah.
07:23Not many of them.
07:24They used to call me Boomerang Trotter,
07:27'cos I always come back.
07:28(company laughing in background)
07:29- Terrific.
07:31- Here Rodney, do me a favor will you?
07:32You know them batteries out there in the hall?
07:34Stick 'em in the corridor
07:35in case someone falls over 'em, all right?
07:36- Yeah, fine.
07:37- Oi, Rodney, wait.
07:37- 'Ere, Del, come here!
07:38Come here son, listen to this one.
07:40Go on.
07:41- Well, we'll have one more drink
07:42and get on our way, all right?
07:45- I don't like the people over this side of the river.
07:48They're not as nice as North Londoners.
07:50- You don't know what you're talking about, girl.
07:51I was born round here.
07:52- Need I say more?
07:54- You couldn't wish to meet a more honest
07:56and generous people as South Londoners.
07:58- Honest and generous?
08:00I noticed they didn't have a whip round at the cemetery.
08:02- Well they couldn't, could they.
08:04Someone nicked the Vicar's hat!
08:08- Del, Del, do you remember us?
08:09- Oh!
08:10- Cousin Stan.
08:11- Stan, yes!
08:11Yeah, of course I remember you.
08:12Yeah, I was gonna come over and have a chat with you.
08:13- This is my wife, Jean.
08:14- Oh, Jean, yeah.
08:15Hello, Jean, how are you?
08:16- This is Uncle Albert.
08:17- Oh, Uncle Albert, is it?
08:18Hello.
08:20- Your mum asked me to be your Godfather.
08:22- Oh!
08:23Yeah, I thought Uncle George was my Godfather?
08:25- Yeah, that's right.
08:26Me and him spun a coin.
08:27- George lost.
08:31- So what you up to these days, Stan?
08:32Are you still poncing around in the insurance game, are you?
08:35- Well, I'm still in the insurance business, yeah,
08:37and doing very nicely thank you.
08:38- We've got our own place, all paid for.
08:41- Oh really?
08:42What you got, a maisonette?
08:42- No, it's a mobile home, actually.
08:44- Ah, I see.
08:45You've got a caravan.
08:48- It's got two separate bedrooms, a breakfast bar,
08:50and a combined toilet and shower-room.
08:52- Oh, it's a big caravan.
08:56- Well this is just a council flat, isn't it?
08:58- Yeah, but there's no chance of this getting a puncture,
09:00is there?
09:03- He's been living with us for 18 months now.
09:05He only popped round to borrow a screwdriver.
09:08- If I hear another nautical yarn I'll swing for him.
09:12- Someone suggested an old folks home.
09:14- Well, you can't do that, he's family.
09:15- Oh, we didn't consider it, did we love?
09:18- No, of course not!
09:20Well not at them prices anyway.
09:25- You all right, son?
09:27- Yeah.
09:28- You ever been on board a ship, Rodney?
09:30- Yeah, yeah, when I was a kid.
09:33Grandad took me.
09:36- I see.
09:37Did he ever take you down and show you the engine room?
09:39- No, no, it was only the Woolwich Ferry.
09:43He got seasick.
09:45We had to go home via the Rotherhithe tunnel.
09:48- I used to work in the engine room.
09:50Maintenance, that sort of thing.
09:51Cor, them boilers took some looking out for.
09:55D'you know what the most important gadget is
09:57in the engine room?
09:59- The lock on the porthole?
10:02- No, they don't have port--
10:04It's the safety valve on the boiler.
10:07You get a build-up of pressure
10:08and the safety valves ain't working, bang!
10:12The whole gubbins explodes.
10:13You've gotta find a way of releasing the pressure.
10:17That's what's happening to Del.
10:18He's releasing the pressure.
10:20Laughter is just his safety valve, yeah.
10:24- Yeah?
10:24- Yeah.
10:25- Well, I don't think it's right.
10:27Them people laughing in there.
10:30I ain't laughing.
10:32I ain't laughing today, I ain't laughing tomorrow.
10:36I don't wanna laugh for the rest of my life.
10:39- Well, as long as you're happy, son.
10:44- I'm away now, boys, I'll see you later.
10:45- Keep it in your trousers, Michael.
10:46- I'm off now, Del, all right son?
10:47- Yeah, yeah, thanks for coming, Mike.
10:49'Ere, you're doin' a bit of a flyer ain't ya?
10:50- Well, as a sign of respect for yer grandad,
10:52I've decided to open the pub early.
10:54- Oh that's very nice of you Mike,
10:56appreciate the gesture, thanks.
10:58- Oh about the booze, it comes to 86 quid.
11:01- Please Mike,
11:03don't discuss money now.
11:06I mean you'll be offering me a discount for cash next.
11:10Won't you?
11:13- I saw the periscope half mile off starboard.
11:17I saw the wash of torpedo's fins.
11:20It caught us right at the, uh,
11:22at the pointed end, yeah.
11:24Wallop!
11:25Up it went.
11:26Foam, flame, fire, smoke, burning metal.
11:33As soon as it happened I thought to myself,
11:34"Hello, we've been hit."
11:37- I expect you get to know the little signs, eh?
11:41- Yeah, okay Mike, 'ere listen,
11:43don't worry about that burglar alarm that got nicked,
11:45'cos Trigger knows where he can get hold of another one.
11:48All right, so I'll whip it round to you okay?
11:49- Okay, cheers Del.
11:50See you, Rodney.
11:51- Yeah, bye.
11:52- Cheers.
11:53- Thanks Mike, yeah.
11:55- Del, I've just been telling young Rodney
11:56about my days in the Navy.
11:59I don't know why you don't join up.
12:01- Yeah, well you've just given me five good reasons.
12:22- Here we are!
12:22Here we go Rodney, look specialty of the house.
12:25Sausage und ala the old mash.
12:27Here you go.
12:28- I ain't really all that hungry, Del.
12:31- Oh come on, Rodders.
12:32I've been an hour out there in that kitchen cooking this.
12:35Go on, try it at least.
12:42- I can't eat that, Del.
12:44- What's wrong with it?
12:45- Well, it's nothing like Grandad's is it?
12:47It tastes nice.
12:52- I tried to mess it up, honest I did, Rodney.
12:55Just didn't have his knack.
12:58Do you know he was taught to cook
12:59at one of London's biggest establishments?
13:02- You're kidding.
13:03- No, straight up.
13:04He was a trainee chef at the Ear, Nose and Throat Hospital.
13:10Now, come on then.
13:12Come on, let's give this a hiding, Shall we?
13:14- Yeah, why not?
13:15- Yeah, that's it.
13:16(clanging noise)
13:19Well it's just...
13:20it's just us two now, bruv.
13:22Me and you against the rest.
13:26Ah, don't stand a bloody chance do they, eh?
13:28(clanging noise)
13:33- Del?
13:33- Yeah?
13:34- Someone's trying to pull our lavatory chain.
13:38- Yeah, I know.
13:40I know it's an awkward one innit?
13:41The secret is one slow pull and then a sharp one like that.
13:46(lavatory chain being pulled hard, toilet flushing)
13:49There you go.
13:49There it is, see?
13:52- What I'm saying is, right...
13:53- Yeah?
13:54- We're the only ones in the flat
13:57and someone's trying to flush our lav.
14:02- Oh, yeah, well maybe it's a washer or something.
14:06- How can a bloody washer pull the chain?
14:10- I don't know, do I?
14:11I am not a scientist or something, am I?
14:13No, it's all right, it's probably something, you know,
14:16quite simple.
14:18You know, nothing...
14:20Nothing at all really.
14:22Where's my bloody hammer?
14:28- Del!
14:36- Oh my bloody head.
14:37- Gordon Bennett.
14:39You nearly had your head caved in then,
14:40you soppy old sod!
14:42- I had too much of that cognac.
14:45Where is everyone?
14:47- Well, they've all gone home, haven't they?
14:48It's half past 11 at night.
14:51- Where the hell have you been?
14:52- I conked out in one of them beds.
14:54Cor, my belly's going round and round.
14:58Oh my God.
15:01Half past 11?
15:03D'you think Stan and Jean'll be worried about me?
15:05- Worried about you?
15:08Yeah, well of course they'll be worried about you,
15:10won't they.
15:12Well, look, we can't drive you back there tonight now.
15:15No, me and Rodney have had enough to drink.
15:18- What about a minicab then?
15:20- No, you won't get one now Rodney,
15:21they'll be busy washing out their backseats.
15:26What I reckon is you've got to stay here tonight
15:28and I'll drive you back to North London tomorrow, right?
15:30Rodney, you go and lock up.
15:31Oi, make sure you bring them batteries in
15:33before someone swipes 'em, all right?
15:34- No one's gonna nick them, Del.
15:37- Really, how d'you think we got 'em?
15:41- I appreciate this, son.
15:42- Ah forget it, I'll get you a pillow and some blankets
15:44and you can make yourself a bed there on the chaise lounge,
15:46all right?
15:47- 'Ere, I won't be able to sleep on there Del.
15:49I need a good firm mattress.
15:52I've got a curvature of the spine, see.
15:54- Really?
15:55It's all them years sleeping in an hammock I suppose, is it?
15:57- Yeah.
15:59I might as well kip down in there, eh?
16:01- No, no, you can't go in there,
16:02that's my Grandad's room.
16:03- Yeah, but I'm his brother.
16:05- Yeah, that don't make no difference.
16:06Only me and Rodney are allowed in that room.
16:09That room is gonna remain exactly as he left it.
16:13That room is going to be a shrine
16:15dedicated to the memory of my grandfather.
16:20- I understand Del.
16:22- No, we'll just have to think of something else,
16:23that's all.
16:24Listen, if I get the big mattress out of Rodney's room,
16:26I can put it down there.
16:27No, I'd never get it through the door would I?
16:30- Oi, where'd you want these then?
16:32- Oh, sling 'em in Grandad's room for now, will you, Rodney?
16:48- All right?
16:49Did you get Albert home safely?
16:51- Yeah, I got him home safely all right, Rodney.
16:56- Morning, son.
16:57- Morning.
17:00You're back?
17:02- Boomerang Trotter always comes back.
17:04- What happened?
17:06- What happened?
17:07I'll tell you what happened!
17:08I drove him all the way back to North London,
17:10right through the bleedin' rush hour.
17:12And what did we find when we got there?
17:13Stan and Jean have moved.
17:18- Moved?
17:20What do you mean moved?
17:21- What do you mean what do I mean?
17:24They hooked the caravan on the back of the Cortina
17:25and they've had it away!
17:28- This was lying where the caravan once stood.
17:31It's just me clothes and a few personal belongings.
17:35- You mean that's all you've got in the world?
17:37- No, no, we've gotta go back tomorrow
17:38to pick up his parrot.
17:41How could they do this to me, eh?
17:43- That is disgusting innit?
17:45I mean, deserting him like that.
17:47- Yeah, it ain't the first time it's happened, either.
17:50- I mean, I, think there should be a law
17:51or something against that.
17:52- Yeah, I know.
17:53All I wanna know is where they've got--
17:56'Ere, what did you say just then?
17:58- I said it ain't the first time it's happened either.
18:01D'you remember your cousin Audrey?
18:03I went and stayed with her and her husband Kevin for a year.
18:06One day they sent me down to Sainsbury's
18:08with a shopping list.
18:09When I come back they'd emigrated.
18:13Not a dicky bird to me though.
18:16Then there was young Gillian, you know, Patsy's girl.
18:19I went over there to give her a bit of comfort
18:20'cos her husband was on nights.
18:23Six months later she sets fire to the house.
18:27She got three months medical supervision for that.
18:30I can remember thinking as I stood on the ledge
18:32and jumped into the fireman's net,
18:34"That's gratitude for you!"
18:40- Now I've got a funny feeling, Del.
18:44- So have I, Rodney.
18:47I feel like a turkey who's just caught
18:49Bernard Matthews grinning at him.
18:55- What shall I do with these then?
18:57- I tell you what you ought to do with those, shall I?
18:59You put them in here, right?
19:00In they go, they go in there,
19:02'cos you're not staying here, all right?
19:04- No, of course not.
19:05Just for a couple of days, that's all.
19:07- No. No, no!
19:08Not for a couple of days, not for one day.
19:09There's a seaman's mission
19:10down there at St Katharine's Dock.
19:12You go down here, go on!
19:13- Well, I thought I'd just have a look at the local paper
19:16and find meself some digs.
19:17- Yeah, that's a good idea Uncle!
19:18They'll have a local paper down at the mission.
19:20Now, go on sling your hook.
19:21- Yeah, all right, Del.
19:23You don't mind if I have a quick cup of tea, do you?
19:25- No, go on there's a flask of cold tea out there
19:27and some vol-au-vents from yesterday.
19:28Go on, you can have them.
19:30- Cheers, son.
19:33- Oi.
19:34- Hmm?
19:35- What are you doing, winding him up?
19:36- Yeah, yeah, I'm winding him up aren't I?
19:39I'm winding him up.
19:41- Del, he only wants to stay for a couple of nights
19:43and get himself sorted out.
19:45- He's a Trotter, Rodney.
19:46- We're Trotters.
19:47- Yes I know, but we take after Mum in nature.
19:49He's from Dad's side of the family.
19:51You know what they're like.
19:52You offer 'em a cup of tea
19:53and they think you've adopted 'em.
19:55Look at that time when Dad came round here.
19:56He wanted to stay one night.
19:58Took us nigh on a fortnight to get rid of him.
20:06- (softly) Uncle Albert might not be like that.
20:08- Oh leave it out, Rodney.
20:10You've heard him yourself
20:11when he was telling us about that time he came round
20:12the Cape of Good Hope.
20:14He was three months on the same wave!
20:19- I don't believe you Del.
20:21I do not believe that you of all people, could...
20:27- Where do you think you're going?
20:28- I'm going down the caff!
20:29I'm gonna get some grub and some better company!
20:32(door slams)
20:37I'm gonna put some clothes on first.
21:07You've changed, Del.
21:08- Yeah, well it's about time you did.
21:09Come on, we've got to go down to the market later on.
21:11- I mean your personality has changed.
21:13I've seen a side of you I never knew existed.
21:17- You don't understand, Rodney.
21:19- You're right about that, Del!
21:21I mean, look at you.
21:22Last night, you was laughing, you was drinking.
21:25I mean, why didn't you just put your Boney M record on, Del?
21:27We could have had a good old knees-up!
21:30It was Grandad!
21:34How could you get over it so easily?
21:37- Get over it?
21:41What a plonker you really are, Rodney.
21:45Get over it?
21:47I ain't even started yet.
21:48I ain't even started, bruv.
21:50And do you know why?
21:52Because I don't know how to.
21:54That's why.
21:58I've survived all my life with a smile and a prayer.
22:00I'm Del Boy, ain't I?
22:00"Good old Del Boy, he's got more bounce than Zebedee.
22:05'Ere you are pal, what you drinking?
22:06Go on.
22:06Hello darling, you have one for luck."
22:07That's me, that's Del Boy, innit?
22:10Nothing ever upsets Del Boy.
22:13I've always played the tough guy.
22:15I didn't want to, but I had to.
22:18And I've played it for so long now
22:21I don't know how to be anything else.
22:26I don't even know how to...
22:30Oh, it don't matter.
22:33Bloody families, I've finished with 'em!
22:36What do they do to you, eh?
22:38They hold you back, drag you down,
22:44and then they break your bloody heart.
22:53- (softly) Sorry.
23:03(music plays on telly)
23:13(laughter)
23:15- All right there, all right.
23:16Hello darling.
23:18- I'll be over there.
23:18- Okay, all right.
23:19All right pal, what you drinking?
23:21Give him one.
23:22I'll have a Malibu and tonic with some lime
23:24and half a lager, please, darling.
23:25- In the same glass?
23:28- No, in separate ones, if you don't mind.
23:30- Well I don't know do I?
23:32It might have been one of your erotic cocktails, Del.
23:36- She's a saucy little cow that one, ain't she, eh?
23:38- All right Del?
23:39- Yeah, brill, terrific!
23:40How're things?
23:41- Oh you know, quiet.
23:42Here, you know that old boy that was at the funeral?
23:45Him with the beard?
23:46- Yeah.
23:47- He was here lunchtime.
23:48- Oh yeah?
23:49- What is he, a relative or something?
23:51- Nah, well yeah, I mean, he's a distant relative, yeah.
23:53- He was telling me all about his wartime dramas.
23:55Torpedoed five time, dive-bombed twice.
23:58He's a bit of a jinx isn't he?
23:59- Yeah.
24:00You know what his last job was, don't you?
24:01He was entertainment officer on the Belgrano.
24:06No, straight up.
24:08Right, cheers, darling!
24:09- One eighty, please.
24:10- All right, there you go.
24:11Go on, have one for luck.
24:12- Oh, cheers.
24:12- Oh, that reminds me Del, about all that booze yesterday?
24:14- Yeah, what about it.
24:15Went down a treat didn't it?
24:17See you later Mike.
24:22Cheers.
24:24- I wonder where he is?
24:25- Eh, who?
24:26- Uncle Albert.
24:27- Oh him, oh, well he's down the seaman's mission by now,
24:29ain't he, eh?
24:30Got himself a lovely bed, blinding little locker.
24:33Yeah, he's as happy as a pig in sugar, he is, yeah.
24:38- Yeah, I suppose so but it makes you think, don't it?
24:41I mean, a man fights for his country like that,
24:43you know, laying his life on the line.
24:47D'you know he went down with five different ships?
24:49- Yeah, I know.
24:50I don't know why he just didn't join the submarine corps
24:52in the first place.
24:56Hmm?
25:03(Uncle Albert coughs)
25:07- Hey, he's got a nasty cough, ain't he?
25:09- Yeah, pity Boots ain't open, innit.
25:19- You all right Unc?
25:20- Yeah, fine son.
25:21- Yeah, good.
25:22Did you go down the mission then?
25:23- Yeah, I went down there, but it ain't there no more.
25:26They knocked it down.
25:28Built some luxury flats and a marina.
25:32- Um, look, I ain't got very much.
25:35I've got what, two--
25:36- Oh, put yer money away Rodney.
25:38I don't want it.
25:40Thanks for the offer though.
25:43Go on, you go back to Del.
25:45Don't you worry about me.
25:47All right?
25:48Don't worry.
25:52(coughs)
26:00It's all right Rodney, nothing to worry about.
26:04It's just me lungs.
26:07We hit a mine coming back from Normandy.
26:12I was trapped for 12 hours in a smoke-filled engine room.
26:16- Oh.
26:17Well, if it's not one thing it's another, eh?
26:25- He ain't got nowhere to sleep tonight.
26:26- Hmm.
26:27- He went down the mission, it's not there any more,
26:29there's just a marina.
26:31- Well can't he kip in the back of that?
26:37- A yachting marina.
26:41Come on, Del, that's Grandad's brother sitting over there.
26:44Where do you want him to sleep, eh?
26:45A doss-house?
26:46- Listen Rodney, that bloke has been
26:47in shark-infested seas, right?
26:50He's been attacked by kamikaze pilots
26:52and blown up more times than a beach ball.
26:56One night in a doss-house ain't gonna do him any harm,
26:58is it?
27:00- You don't believe all them stories do ya?
27:04- What, do you reckon they're porkies?
27:10- Well, of course they are.
27:12I didn't wanna say nothing 'cos, you know, he's a proud man.
27:16- Oh, proud, him?
27:17He comes from Dad's side of the family, doesn't he?
27:19- No, I just offered him a couple of quid
27:20and he wouldn't take a penny.
27:22- No, well, he wouldn't would he?
27:23He's still got that hundred quid I gave him this afternoon.
27:27- You gave him an hundred pounds?
27:29- Yeah, you don't think I'd let him go potless do ya?
27:32- Is that why you can't pay Mike for the booze?
27:35- Oh come on.
27:37Come on!
27:42- All right?
27:44- Yeah, all right, son.
27:45Just having a drop of rum, warm me old cockles, yeah.
27:50- You eaten?
27:51- No, not yet.
27:53- Then why didn't you have something to eat
27:54when you was in here at lunchtime, eh?
27:56- Well, all they had left was sausage and mash
27:57and I've gone right off that.
28:02- Fancy an Indian?
28:05- Wouldn't mind, son.
28:07- Oh, we'd never get a table this time of night, Del.
28:09- No.
28:10We'll have to get a takeaway, and eat it at home.
28:15- Yeah.
28:16Yeah, that's what we'll do, we'll get a takeaway
28:18and eat it at home, eh?
28:20- It it's all right with you two, Del.
28:23Thanks.
28:25- Don't know what you're thanking me for.
28:27You're paying.
28:31Come on Sinbad, let's get down there
28:32before the health inspector.
28:40- Oi, I'm glad I caught you.
28:42I've just phoned the mission,
28:43they said they've got a bed for you.
28:44- Sh!
28:51♫ We've got some half price cracked ice
28:52♫ And miles and miles of carpet tiles
28:54♫ TV's, deep freeze and David Bowie LPs
28:57♫ Pool games, gold chains, wosnames and at a push
29:00♫ Some Trevor Francis track suits
29:02♫ From a mush in Shepherd's Bush
29:03♫ Bush Bush Bush Bush Bush Bush
29:06♫ No income tax, no VAT
29:09♫ No money back, no guarantee
29:12♫ Black or white, rich or broke
29:15♫ We'll cut prices at a stroke
29:20♫ God bless Hooky Street
29:23♫ Viva Hooky Street
29:26♫ Long live Hooky Street
29:29♫ C'est magnifique Hooky Street
29:32♫ Magnifique Hooky Street
29:37♫ Hooky Street
29:40♫ Hooky Street