Only Fools and Horses S05E01 — From Prussia with Love

Every line from “From Prussia with Love” (768 quotes). Click one to open the meme editor on the exact frame, ready to caption and share.

00:00(melodious music)
00:03♫ Stick a pony in me pocket
00:06♫ I'll fetch the suitcase from the van
00:10♫ 'Cause if you want the best 'uns
00:12♫ But you don't ask questions
00:14♫ Then brother, I'm your man
00:18♫ 'Cause where it all comes from is a mystery
00:21♫ It's like the changing of the seasons
00:23♫ And the tides of the sea
00:26♫ But here's the one that's driving me berserk
00:29♫ Why do only fools and horses work
00:32♫ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
00:36♫ La, la, la, la
00:38(bell ringing)
00:39(speaking indistinctly)
00:43- Last orders now, please.
00:45- And I'll give you the box--
00:46- I'm not interested, don't try...
00:47- It's got re-dial...
00:49- Scotch, would you?
00:50- Oi, top me up too.
00:51Come on, don't hang about.
00:52- Maureen.
00:53-[Maureen] Yes?
00:54- Maureen, go and tell that girl over there will you,
00:55we're closing in a minute.
00:56- And how am I supposed to do that?
00:58I've been trying to talk to her all night but she's foreign,
01:00don't understand the lingo.
01:03- What's occurring, Mike?
01:04- Well it's that foreign tart.
01:06She can't speak a word of English.
01:08She's been sitting there all night.
01:09Keeps bursting into tears.
01:10- Yeah, well at your prices you can't blame her.
01:13What's her nationality?
01:15-[Mike] Ain't got a clue.
01:16- Maybe she's Swedish.
01:19-[Both] Swedish?
01:20- Hark at him.
01:22- Well do you know the Swedish for Chucking out time?
01:24That's 1.47.
01:27- Alright, I'll get it. - Here, Del.
01:28Del, you speak a bit of French, don't you?
01:31- Potage bonne femme.
01:35- Listen, go and have a chat with her,
01:36see if she speaks a bit French?
01:38- Of course I will, Mike, anything for a mate.
01:40How much do you say these drinks were?
01:41- One four...
01:44On the house, Del.
01:45- Good boy.
01:46Well done, Michael, you're a gentleman.
01:48Right...
01:49You can stay here if you like, Rodney.
01:51- You must be joking.
01:53You're gonna to speak French to someone,
01:54I wouldn't miss this for a million pounds.
01:57- Alright then, alright, I'll show you.
01:59Come on. - Go on then.
02:01- Alright, Maureen, I can take over now.
02:04Right.
02:07Au revoir!
02:11(speaking in foreign language)
02:31- No, she don't speak French either, Mike.
02:33(speaking in foreign language)
02:38- Who?
02:38- Allemagne.
02:39- Who's he?
02:40- Deutschland!
02:41Germany! Yeah.
02:42- She's German!
02:43- Oh, it's alright.
02:44Panic over, Mike, Bamber's cracked it.
02:46- She's German.
02:48- I can speak a bit of German.
02:49- Could you?
02:50- Yeah.
02:51I was over there just after the war.
02:52- Yeah.
02:53- Come on and sit down, sit down.
02:54Come over here.
02:55Sit down here.
02:56Now listen to me.
02:57I want you to ask her what her name is, you know?
02:59Where she lives,
03:00her address and all that sort of thing, right?
03:01- Right, leave this to me.
03:03What is your name?
03:10- What is your name?
03:13What is your...
03:14He's winding me up, ain't he?
03:16- Does anyone speak English?
03:18- English!
03:19You saucy mare, of course we speak English.
03:22We invented the lingo, didn't we?
03:24- Yes, we sp...
03:26Well, I speak English.
03:28- You help me maybe?
03:29I look for my hotel.
03:31- Oh right.
03:32Which hotel?
03:33What is the name of your hotel?
03:35- I'm not sure of this.
03:37- Oh, stone me.
03:38There are bloody millions of them across the river.
03:40- Please?
03:42- He say, there are many hotels in London.
03:45- Oh yeah, many.
03:47- You just come in then?
03:48Gatwick airport, silver bird?
03:51- Please?
03:52- He say, have you just arrived in England?
03:55- Oh no.
03:56I be in England now for one year.
03:58I am language student.
04:00French and English, yeah?
04:02I work as au pair and study at the college.
04:05The family I work for tell me I must go.
04:07They are not happy with me.
04:09They say I must leave.
04:11So I have hotel, yes?
04:13- Oh yeah.
04:14Yeah. Don't worry.
04:15I, I will make sure you get to your hotel.
04:20I will make sure you get safely to your room.
04:25I think I can handle this on my own, Del, don't you?
04:27- Yeah, I bet you can!
04:28Yeah, go, blimey.
04:31What a turn up, eh?
04:33He thought he was gonna pull a Swede
04:34and she's got lumbered with a cabbage.
04:39Come on, Albert, let's take a Toby home.
04:41We'll leave the keys of the car with the old saint here.
04:45Off you go.
04:46Tata, darling.
04:48- Best of luck girl.
04:49Keep your hand on your pfennig.
04:53- No, Del!
04:54- Alright, I tell you what I'm gonna do, Michael.
04:55I'm gonna leave the phone
04:56so you can think about it
04:57and I'll give you a bell on it in the morning.
04:58Alright, son.
05:00- So, have you any idea where your hotel is?
05:05- I do not have hotel.
05:07- But I thought you said you were looking for a hotel?
05:09- Yeah, I look for hotel.
05:12- Oh.
05:13No.
05:14There are no hotels in this area.
05:17- This is what I think.
05:18So, I am nowhere?
05:22- No, no, don't cry.
05:24Something will turn up.
05:25Just give us a bit of time to think.
05:26- I have money!
05:27- Put that away.
05:29Blimey, they'd chop your head off round here
05:30if you've got gold teeth.
05:32- Please?
05:34- This is dangerous place at night.
05:37The streets are bad place.
05:38- Yeah, this is why I fear.
05:40- Come on, time to go home now, please.
05:45- Look.
05:46Well, you could spend the night at our flat, I suppose.
05:49You know, if you want.
05:50I mean, it ain't very much, but it's comfortable.
05:54Well no, it ain't really comfortable.
05:57You're more than welcome.
05:58You could have my bed.
06:00- But where will you sleep?
06:04- We'll think of something.
06:07Shall I take your case?
06:08- Thank you.
06:43- Listen, Kristos,
06:45everybody's got a cordless telephone these days except you.
06:49What?
06:50No, of course they're not faulty.
06:52I said of course they're not faulty.
06:56- Hi.
06:57- Hi.
06:58Yeah, what?
06:58- Do you get that little bird home?
07:01- Yeah, I got her home.
07:02See thing is, Del, she didn't actually have a hotel
07:05to go back to.
07:06- Alright, Rodney, can't you see I'm on the phone.
07:07What did you say, go on.
07:08- So I said she could spend the night here.
07:11- What do you mean you can spend the night here?
07:13- Come in, Anna.
07:14- Yeah.
07:15Hello, dar...
07:19-[Kristos] Del...
07:21- Alright, Kristos, listen, I've got to go.
07:24I'll hang up because something big has just turned up.
07:30- Anna, this is my brother Derek.
07:32Del, this is Anna.
07:33- Good evening.
07:34- Good evening, yeah.
07:35- And that's our Uncle Albert.
07:36- How do you do?
07:37- Hello dear, nice to meet you all.
07:41- May I sit down?
07:42- Yeah.
07:43Certainly.
07:44Sit here, that's it.
07:44Here. Put your bag down.
07:45That's it, good girl.
07:47There you go.
07:48- Do you fancy a bit of haddock?
07:49- Hey, no, no, you're alright, we've already eaten.
07:51I took her down the Star of Bengal.
07:54- Do you think a ruby was wise in her condition?
07:58Excuse me, excuse us.
07:59Rodney, can I have a private word with you
08:00in private please, thank you.
08:02- Yeah, yeah sure.
08:04I won't be a minute, Anna.
08:06- Albert, please try to entertain our guests.
08:11Shut the door.
08:14(closes door)
08:15- Del, I couldn't help it, honest.
08:16I mean, how was I to know she was pregnant?
08:18- How was I supposed to know she was pregnant?
08:20It doesn't take a doctor bleeding Spock
08:21to work that one out, Rodney!
08:23- Look, I'll take her out tomorrow and get her a room.
08:27- Rodney, what happens if that sprog of hers
08:29decides to clock in tonight?
08:32- I don't want to worry you two boys,
08:34but unless I'm very much mistaken
08:37that young girl out there's up the duff.
08:42- Why don't you go out and hit an iceberg, Albert?
08:45- I don't understand this.
08:46I just don't know what's happening to me just lately.
08:48I just do not know what's happening.
08:50I've got more relatives crawling out the woodwork
08:52than Blake Carrington,
08:54and now I'm taking in the waifs and strays of Europe.
08:57- Yeah, well that's why we gotta help, innit?
08:59'Cause we're in the European Community now,
09:01we've gotta stick together.
09:03- Pity her knees didn't.
09:07- Del, come on.
09:08We have got room in the flat, ain't we?
09:10I mean, it's only one more person.
09:11- Yeah, but it's one more person
09:13who's about to become two more persons.
09:15On the other hand it could be twins or triplets,
09:18or quadlets!
09:19- Yeah, he's right and all, Rodney.
09:21I mean, she could be sitting out there
09:23with a bellyful of people.
09:27One hot bath and we get chucked out for overcrowding.
09:31No, I'm sorry, Rodney, I'm sorry.
09:32No, we just...
09:33I cannot take the risk.
09:35Sorry, no.
09:36- Alright.
09:38Alright, we'll chuck her out in the street, shall we?
09:40But you go and give her the good news, Del!
09:48(clears throat)
09:51- Monchengladbach!
09:54See, see, the thing is, Anna, we've hit a bit of a snag.
09:59See, see, I mean, at this pacific moment in time,
10:03we are a bit knackered for space, see.
10:07- Please?
10:09- He say, there is no room at the inn.
10:12- Don't start all that Sunday school
10:13rubbish with me, Rodney.
10:16Unt plonker, yeah.
10:18- Please?
10:20- He's calling me a...
10:22Don't matter.
10:24- Who did the dirty deed then?
10:26- Please?
10:27- He says, who's the fath...
10:28Oi, that's a bit personal, innit?
10:29- Yeah, a bit personal.
10:31- Father, yes, I understand.
10:33Family I work with, Mr. and Mrs. Wainwright, have son,
10:36Spencer, who is a student.
10:38One day Spencer return from university with degree, yeah?
10:43I'm not drink but this day I have the champagne.
10:46Then I am spinning, yeah?
10:48Then Spencer comes to my room.
10:51He wants to, to, what word?
10:55- Oh, you mean he wants to--
10:56- Del...
10:59- He wants to be my friend, yeah?
11:00- What...
11:01While you were still spinning?
11:02- Yeah, I am still spinning.
11:04Then I find baby is here.
11:07I phone Spencer and he say
11:09I must not tell his parents he is father.
11:12But this morning, I am very worried and I tell them.
11:16They say I lie, they say I am bad person.
11:19Mr. Wainwright say "My disruptive influence on Spencer
11:25"makes it inexpedient for me to remain."
11:30- Please?
11:33- He say, "On your bike."
11:34- Oh! On your bike.
11:37- Mr. Wainwright, he is a...
11:40What word?
11:41- Git?
11:44- A businessman.
11:45A rich man.
11:47He give me money for journey home.
11:49- So why didn't you go?
11:50- I cannot go yet.
11:51My family will see baby.
11:54This is not good.
11:55So I wait, and when baby is born I give baby to people.
12:02- Yeah, yeah, I mean, you know,
12:04if you think so sweetheart, yeah.
12:08It's a terrible world this innit, Rodney?
12:11Terrible.
12:12Look, the best thing...
12:13Why don't you chuck this thing in your room,
12:15you know, for for tonight, you know.
12:17- Yeah.
12:18Cheers, mate.
12:20- Anna. Anna.
12:22Listen, you go with Rodney, see?
12:25Through there and he will show you
12:28where you, you know, kip tonight, yeah.
12:30- Thank you.
12:30- It's alright.
12:31Here you are girl, let me help you.
12:33I'll take these, now go on, you go, go around...
12:35- Straight through here.
12:36- It's through there.
12:37That's it.
12:38Open the door.
12:39Take that.
12:41Take this as well.
12:42- Mind the batteries.
12:44- Yeah, mind that.
12:45Alright, alright, goodnight now.
12:47Night.
12:50- It's a funny old world, innit?
12:52I mean, you take thousands of couples round the world
12:54all trying to have kids but can't.
12:58I remember my mate Nipper Townsend.
13:01Years and years him and his wife dreamed of having a kid.
13:04They never did though.
13:05- No...
13:06You got to take so many things into account, haven't you?
13:08Well, you notice, the temperature, the cycle,
13:11tight pants, all that.
13:13- True.
13:15Course, Nipper being stationed in Malta didn't help.
13:21Yeah.
13:22You seem to know a lot about all this medical malarkey.
13:25- Yeah well, I get it off Boycie and Marlene?
13:28You remember, Boycie, the second-hand car trader.
13:30- Yeah.
13:31- Yeah, well him and Marlene have been trying to have a,
13:34a little sprog for years but no joy.
13:37I mean, they've had more tests you know than the atom bomb.
13:41Still no good.
13:43I mean they've tried to foster and adopt but, no, nothing.
13:46Funny that?
13:47Funny.
13:49I mean they're stinking rich
13:50and yet with all that money
13:52they cannot buy the one thing they would most dearly love,
13:56a little baby.
13:57- Yeah.
13:58That's the way the cookie bounces, eh?
14:02- Yeah, I expect.
14:10- What's wrong?
14:12- No, nothing, nothing, no, I've just...
14:14I've just worked out that everything could work out
14:16very very cushty!
14:17(laughs)
14:20- Come on, Duke, get stick.
14:22Come on, Dukie.
14:24(barking)
14:25Duke, duke...
14:28Duke, get...
14:37(barking)
14:44- Say that again, Del Boy?
14:46- I said, I could help you have a baby.
14:51- What do you mean?
14:52You're willing to be one of them suffragette fathers?
14:56- No, no, no.
14:57What I mean is, I know where there's a baby going.
15:00- What? Knocked off?
15:05- No, no, no, it's all pukka!
15:08You see, I know this young German girl.
15:09Well she's...
15:10She hadn't been in our green and pleasant land
15:13for no more than three months
15:14when she was suddenly taken pregnant.
15:16- Oh, that's lovely innit, Marlene?
15:18In a little while from now
15:19we could be awakened by the pitter-patter of tiny jackboots.
15:24- Leave it out, Boycie.
15:25Look, he'd be brought up as yours wouldn't he.
15:27And anyway, the father is English.
15:29You see, the full story is...
15:31Rodney met this girl in the pub little while ago--
15:33- Hang about.
15:34You mean that dipstick Rodney is the father?
15:37- No, no, no, of course he ain't, Boycie, leave it out.
15:40What Rodney?
15:41Blimey, he don't know what it's all about yet.
15:44Haven't you seen the funny way he still stirs his tea?
15:47No.
15:50Rodney, take your leg out of that dog's mouth!
15:55I despair of that boy, I really do.
15:58Anyway.
15:59The father is some sort of student geezer
16:02who's washed his hands of the whole affair
16:03and like, you know, he don't know.
16:05- Well him and me have got a lot in common,
16:06because I don't wanna know either.
16:08- Come on, hang on a minute, Boyce.
16:10Let's not be hasty.
16:11I mean, you are the one who's always going on about
16:13having a son and heir.
16:16- And it is a boy.
16:18- I didn't think it had been born yet.
16:20- She's had a scan.
16:22Let me show you something, look.
16:24I borrowed a passport so I could show you.
16:27There is a picture of her, look.
16:29Her name is Anna.
16:31She's a beautiful girl, isn't she?
16:32She's bound to have a handsome kid.
16:35And the student fellas father,
16:37is a very very successful businessman.
16:39So the kid's gonna have everything, you know.
16:41Good looks, brains, business acumen.
16:44Just the sort of son and heir that you'd need
16:46for your second hand car empire, Boycie.
16:50- We can at least talk about it, Boycie.
16:53- Well, alright then, alright, love.
16:56Just give us a couple of minutes, will you, Del?
17:06- I think I've tired him out.
17:12He's a rascal.
17:18What they doing?
17:19- It's alright, nothing.
17:20They're just having a bit of a chat.
17:21Go and get yourself a little ale,
17:22and top me up while you're over there, alright.
17:24- It is definitely a boy?
17:26- Yep, definitely a boy.
17:29- What's all that about?
17:30- No, no, nothing, Boycie's thinking of getting a boat
17:32and I'm gonna get him some equipment see.
17:34- Oh, that sort of buoy.
17:36- This German bird, is she healthy?
17:38- Healthy?
17:39She's Boris Becker's cousin.
17:42- What the bloody hell is going on here, Del?
17:44- It's alright, Rodney, it's alright.
17:45I was gonna tell you.
17:46See, the thing is Boycie and Marlene might have Anna's baby.
17:50- What!
17:51What is this a raffle?
17:53Del, this is a tiny human being we're talking about!
17:56This is flesh and blood!
17:57It's Anna's child!
17:58- Yes, I know that Rodney.
17:59But Anna wants it adopted,
18:00and Boycie and Marlene want to adopt.
18:03- Yeah, well, if that's what they want
18:04they can go to an adoption society?
18:06- No, we've tried lots of times, Rodney,
18:08but they always turn us down.
18:09It's because of his record.
18:12- Boycie did a little bit of a stretch
18:13when he was younger, you know.
18:15- Yeah. What for?
18:16- Perjury,
18:19embezzlement,
18:22conspiring to pervert the course of justice,
18:26the fraudulent conversion of traveler's checks
18:28and attempting to bribe the Mayor of Lambeth.
18:34See, it's any little thing with these adoption people.
18:38- Leave it out, Boycie,
18:39with your record I'm surprised we're allowed to keep a dog.
18:43- Yeah, but it's all in the past!
18:46I mean how many times have I gotta repay
18:48my debt to society?
18:49- Yeah, that's true.
18:50I mean, don't a person deserve a second chance?
18:54- Well, yeah, that's fair enough.
18:56- And that's exactly what we're gonna give this little baby.
18:58A second chance.
18:59A chance to live in this beautiful house.
19:02A chance to have a loving father and a doting mother.
19:05And they don't come more doting than that.
19:10I mean, even Duke's got a bib.
19:14- But it's illegal.
19:15- What?
19:16Giving a little baby love and warmth
19:18and a chance in life is against the law?
19:26- I don't know.
19:28The welfare people,
19:29they're gonna wonder where Anna's baby is?
19:31- It's obvious innit?
19:32It's with its mother, in Germany.
19:36- I think we've cracked it at last, Boycie.
19:39Well, you could tell everybody it's our own child.
19:41I mean, we're always reading in the papers
19:43about women giving birth
19:44who didn't even know they were pregnant.
19:47- It might raise a few eyebrows though.
19:49- Well yeah, but they're only neighbors.
19:53- I was thinking more of that gynecologist
19:54who examined you on Monday.
19:59- I'll never have to see him again, will I?
20:02Just give us a minute, Del.
20:03Come on, Boycie.
20:11- You're gonna earn out of this, ain't you?
20:14- How dare you!
20:15That's a terrible thing to say!
20:16What sort of bloke do you think I am?
20:19I'm doing it for Anna and for them two,
20:21most important of all,
20:22I'm doing it for that little unborn baby.
20:26- Oh look, I'm sorry.
20:27- No, no, don't touch me.
20:28Now, go, go, get out.
20:30- I'm sorry.
20:33But you are gonna earn out of it, ain't you?
20:35- Look.
20:35That is a cruel and callous jibe.
20:38- How much this all gonna cost?
20:45- Only her airline ticket home.
20:48And of course money for the birth certificate
20:50and a few quid to cover our petrol and telephone calls.
20:56Three grand should cover it, I should think.
21:03- Tea up, Del boy!
21:04- Shh!
21:05Can't you see I'm busy?
21:08Got you, you Martian git!
21:14Let me see, reset...
21:17What's up with you?
21:19- You know perfectly well what's up with me.
21:22Selling a baby.
21:23God, it's like something out of Dickens' times!
21:26- Rodney, listen.
21:27How many times has Boycie tucked me up, eh?
21:30That three grand isn't for the baby,
21:32it's just payment of old debts.
21:34- It's most probably for the best, son.
21:36I mean, Anna gets her baby adopted by a loving family.
21:39- That's right.
21:40Marlene gets the sprog she's always wanted.
21:42- And you get three grand.
21:43- Exactly, everyone's a winner.
21:45- Yeah, everyone...
21:47Everyone except Anna.
21:48- Au contraire, Rodney, au contraire.
21:50Because as soon as old Boycie weighs in with the poppy
21:53I'm going straight down the bureau de change
21:55and I'm gonna get a few hundred translated for her.
21:57So that means that Anna is gonna go straight back
21:59to the Fatherland with 300 drachma in her bin.
22:03(Anna grunting)
22:08She's in pain.
22:09- How do you know, you can't speak German.
22:15- This is it.
22:16This is it.
22:17- No, no, no, it's not.
22:18- Yes, it is.
22:19- Maybe it's just indigestion.
22:20- It's not indigestion.
22:21Listen to me, listen to me!
22:22Go in the kitchen and get a glass of water, go!
22:23- Right! - Yes!
22:25- You ain't giving her Andrews, are you?
22:26- Don't be a plonker!
22:29Look, I want you to phone the hospital,
22:30go on, get on the blower.
22:32Don't forget, call the maternity unit, alright, yeah.
22:36- I'll hold the lift.
22:37I'll hold the lift.
22:38- Yes.
22:39Deep breaths. Deep breaths.
22:40Deep breaths.
22:41Deep...
22:43- How the bloody hell do these phones work?
22:45- Right, listen.
22:46When did you start getting the pains, darling?
22:48- They come this morning.
22:49- This morning.
22:50It's alright, don't worry, don't worry,
22:51you'll be alright now,
22:52because the ambulance is gonna come any minute
22:54so you'll be alright.
22:54Don't worry, you just relax, everything's gonna be cushty.
22:59How are you getting on? - Del!
23:00- It's alright, darling.
23:01- Danke.
23:02- It's alright, it's alright.
23:04Vorsprung durch Technik!
23:08(screams)
23:17Sit down, Marlene, you're doing up the Wilton.
23:20- Sit down, Marlene!
23:23- The baby's alright, ain't he, Del?
23:25- Yes, yes, Marlene, for the umpteenth time.
23:27You're gonna have a beautiful bouncing baby.
23:31- What's he weigh?
23:32- Dunno, he hasn't stopped bouncing yet.
23:35Ain't stopped bouncing.
23:37I don't know, seven pounds something.
23:40- We've decided to call him Mark.
23:44- That's handy, 'cause his Father's name was Spencer.
23:50That's it, they're back, they're back.
23:51He's here, they're here.
23:52Alright, alright. Alright.
23:53Don't, don't panic, stay, it's alright?
23:55Calm down.
23:55Calm down. It's alright...
23:58Everything alright, Rodders?
23:59- No, everything is not bloody--
24:00- Shh!
24:02Boycie and Marlene are here.
24:03- Are they here already?
24:04Have you told them about their little boy?
24:06- What about him?
24:07- About him being a little girl.
24:08- No.
24:09I haven't broken the news yet.
24:11I mean, how could that Anna do that to me?
24:13After all I've done for it.
24:15So what's wrong then?
24:15- Well for one, Anna has fallen in love with her baby.
24:18- She's done what?
24:20No, she can't do that to me.
24:22No, she can't do...
24:22Look, a deal's a deal.
24:24Alright, alright, just sort it out.
24:26Sort it out.
24:27Alright, Albert?
24:28Alright, I'll sort it out.
24:29Here she is.
24:30Hello sweetheart, how you feeling?
24:32- Oh, I am fine thank you.
24:33- Oh good.
24:34Here, let me take.
24:35- I think maybe things are not cushty.
24:38I think maybe now I keep baby.
24:41- No, no, no.
24:42You can't do that darling, no, no, no.
24:44Because you know, we'll have the VAT people round here.
24:48Come in, come in, I'll explain everything.
24:49Go on, you go in there, that's it, darling, go on.
24:51In you go.
24:52Put the baby...
24:53Put the baby down there.
24:55First of all,
24:57these are the very nice people who are gonna buy...
25:01Look after your baby.
25:03There they are.
25:04(crying)
25:09- Someone upset her?
25:11- No, no, no.
25:12She's just got like baby blues, that's all.
25:15Just a minute, Boycie, just a minute.
25:17I'm gonna have to come clean, you see...
25:19The thing is, it's about your little baby boy...
25:22He ain't.
25:24- Ain't what?
25:25- Well, he ain't a little baby boy.
25:27- What is it then?
25:33- It's a little baby girl innit, eh?
25:35- A girl?
25:36But you said she'd had a scan.
25:37- I know what I told you, alright, Boycie.
25:38I know I told you it was gonna be a boy, it ain't.
25:40Just keep your money the deal's off.
25:42- I don't care if it's a boy, a girl or twins.
25:44It's a baby.
25:47- What?
25:49Alright, Marlene.
25:50We'll take it.
25:54It's amazing, innit?
25:55Everything you buy off him's got something missing.
26:05- Alright, don't look at me like that.
26:06What else could I do?
26:07- No good asking me, son.
26:08I ain't never flogged a baby before.
26:14- Rodney, you know I was doing it for Anna, weren't I?
26:18I was only trying help.
26:20- What do you want, applause?
26:23- Alright, Boycie, sorry, no, sorry mate.
26:24Listen, the deal's off.
26:26It's off, alright.
26:27- Is that right, Del?
26:28The deal's off is it?
26:29Too bleeding right, it's off.
26:31- What are you talking about?
26:39What? How?
26:43- That's the other thing I meant to tell you out there.
26:47You see Spencer's mommy and daddy came over in 1956
26:52from the West Indies.
26:57- Well it don't bother me, Boyce.
27:00- Leave off, Marlene.
27:03The baby's brown.
27:07- So is Duke.
27:13- But I ain't claiming to be Duke's father.
27:17- There is a likeness though.
27:21- Shut it.
27:23- We could say it's a throw-back.
27:25- For God's sake, Marlene.
27:28I might be able to con people into buying my cars.
27:31I might be able to convince them
27:32that you conceived and gave birth in seven days flat,
27:35but how the hell am I gonna persuade them
27:36that my grandad was Louis Armstrong?
27:42You ain't heard the last of this, Del Boy.
27:51- I suppose he's right, eh Del?
27:55- Yeah.
27:58Yeah.
28:00You know it makes sense, eh.
28:03- Still, it was a nice little dream while it lasted, eh?
28:08- Yeah.
28:10- Well, I'm gonna turn round now.
28:13I'm gonna walk out that door
28:16and I ain't gonna look back.
28:21- No, of course not.
28:30(crying)
28:35(Anna crying)
28:38(baby crying)
28:42God.
28:43Women.
28:45Shh.
28:46Anna.
28:46Anna, come on, come out here, your baby's hungry.
28:50Quiet, quiet, quiet, your mommy's coming.
28:53She is.
28:54Ain't you got bright eyes, eh?
28:57Look at that.
28:59She's gonna be a blinder when she gets older.
29:01Ain't she?
29:02Coochie coochi coo.
29:04Coochie coochi coo.
29:06Coochie...
29:07Eww.
29:14♫ We've got some half price cracked ice
29:16♫ And miles and miles of carpet tiles
29:17♫ TV's, deep freeze, and David Bowie LP's
29:20♫ Ball games, gold chains, what's-names, pictures frames
29:23♫ And Trevor Francis track suits
29:25♫ From a mush in Shepherds Bush
29:29♫ No income tax, no VAT
29:32♫ No money back, no guarantee
29:36♫ Black or white, rich or poor
29:39♫ We'll cut prices at a stroke
29:43♫ God bless Hooky Street
29:46♫ Viva Hooky Street
29:49♫ Long live Hooky Street
29:52♫ C'est magnifique, Hooky Street
29:56♫ Magnifique, Hooky Street
30:00♫ Hooky Street
30:03♫ Hooky Street
30:06♫ Hooky Street
30:10♫ Hooky