Only Fools and Horses S05E01 — From Prussia with Love

Every line from “From Prussia with Love” (768 quotes). Click one to open the meme editor on the exact frame, ready to caption and share.

Only Fools and Horses S05E01 meme — “Duke, get...”

00:00(melodious music)
00:03♫ Stick a pony in me pocket
00:06♫ I'll fetch the suitcase from the van
00:10♫ 'Cause if you want the best 'uns
00:12♫ But you don't ask questions
00:14♫ Then brother, I'm your man
00:18♫ 'Cause where it all comes from is a mystery
00:21♫ It's like the changing of the seasons
00:23♫ And the tides of the sea
00:26♫ But here's the one that's driving me berserk
00:29♫ Why do only fools and horses work
00:32♫ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
00:36♫ La, la, la, la
00:38(bell ringing)
00:39(speaking indistinctly)
00:43- Last orders now, please.
00:45- And I'll give you the box--
00:46- I'm not interested, don't try...
00:47- It's got re-dial...
00:49- Scotch, would you?
00:50- Oi, top me up too.
00:51Come on, don't hang about.
00:52- Maureen.
00:53-[Maureen] Yes?
00:54- Maureen, go and tell that girl over there will you,
00:55we're closing in a minute.
00:56- And how am I supposed to do that?
00:58I've been trying to talk to her all night but she's foreign,
01:00don't understand the lingo.
01:03- What's occurring, Mike?
01:04- Well it's that foreign tart.
01:06She can't speak a word of English.
01:08She's been sitting there all night.
01:09Keeps bursting into tears.
01:10- Yeah, well at your prices you can't blame her.
01:13What's her nationality?
01:15-[Mike] Ain't got a clue.
01:16- Maybe she's Swedish.
01:19-[Both] Swedish?
01:20- Hark at him.
01:22- Well do you know the Swedish for Chucking out time?
01:24That's 1.47.
01:27- Alright, I'll get it. - Here, Del.
01:28Del, you speak a bit of French, don't you?
01:31- Potage bonne femme.
01:35- Listen, go and have a chat with her,
01:36see if she speaks a bit French?
01:38- Of course I will, Mike, anything for a mate.
01:40How much do you say these drinks were?
01:41- One four...
01:44On the house, Del.
01:45- Good boy.
01:46Well done, Michael, you're a gentleman.
01:48Right...
01:49You can stay here if you like, Rodney.
01:51- You must be joking.
01:53You're gonna to speak French to someone,
01:54I wouldn't miss this for a million pounds.
01:57- Alright then, alright, I'll show you.
01:59Come on. - Go on then.
02:01- Alright, Maureen, I can take over now.
02:04Right.
02:07Au revoir!
02:11(speaking in foreign language)
02:31- No, she don't speak French either, Mike.
02:33(speaking in foreign language)
02:38- Who?
02:38- Allemagne.
02:39- Who's he?
02:40- Deutschland!
02:41Germany! Yeah.
02:42- She's German!
02:43- Oh, it's alright.
02:44Panic over, Mike, Bamber's cracked it.
02:46- She's German.
02:48- I can speak a bit of German.
02:49- Could you?
02:50- Yeah.
02:51I was over there just after the war.
02:52- Yeah.
02:53- Come on and sit down, sit down.
02:54Come over here.
02:55Sit down here.
02:56Now listen to me.
02:57I want you to ask her what her name is, you know?
02:59Where she lives,
03:00her address and all that sort of thing, right?
03:01- Right, leave this to me.
03:03What is your name?
03:10- What is your name?
03:13What is your...
03:14He's winding me up, ain't he?
03:16- Does anyone speak English?
03:18- English!
03:19You saucy mare, of course we speak English.
03:22We invented the lingo, didn't we?
03:24- Yes, we sp...
03:26Well, I speak English.
03:28- You help me maybe?
03:29I look for my hotel.
03:31- Oh right.
03:32Which hotel?
03:33What is the name of your hotel?
03:35- I'm not sure of this.
03:37- Oh, stone me.
03:38There are bloody millions of them across the river.
03:40- Please?
03:42- He say, there are many hotels in London.
03:45- Oh yeah, many.
03:47- You just come in then?
03:48Gatwick airport, silver bird?
03:51- Please?
03:52- He say, have you just arrived in England?
03:55- Oh no.
03:56I be in England now for one year.
03:58I am language student.
04:00French and English, yeah?
04:02I work as au pair and study at the college.
04:05The family I work for tell me I must go.
04:07They are not happy with me.
04:09They say I must leave.
04:11So I have hotel, yes?
04:13- Oh yeah.
04:14Yeah. Don't worry.
04:15I, I will make sure you get to your hotel.
04:20I will make sure you get safely to your room.
04:25I think I can handle this on my own, Del, don't you?
04:27- Yeah, I bet you can!
04:28Yeah, go, blimey.
04:31What a turn up, eh?
04:33He thought he was gonna pull a Swede
04:34and she's got lumbered with a cabbage.
04:39Come on, Albert, let's take a Toby home.
04:41We'll leave the keys of the car with the old saint here.
04:45Off you go.
04:46Tata, darling.
04:48- Best of luck girl.
04:49Keep your hand on your pfennig.
04:53- No, Del!
04:54- Alright, I tell you what I'm gonna do, Michael.
04:55I'm gonna leave the phone
04:56so you can think about it
04:57and I'll give you a bell on it in the morning.
04:58Alright, son.
05:00- So, have you any idea where your hotel is?
05:05- I do not have hotel.
05:07- But I thought you said you were looking for a hotel?
05:09- Yeah, I look for hotel.
05:12- Oh.
05:13No.
05:14There are no hotels in this area.
05:17- This is what I think.
05:18So, I am nowhere?
05:22- No, no, don't cry.
05:24Something will turn up.
05:25Just give us a bit of time to think.
05:26- I have money!
05:27- Put that away.
05:29Blimey, they'd chop your head off round here
05:30if you've got gold teeth.
05:32- Please?
05:34- This is dangerous place at night.
05:37The streets are bad place.
05:38- Yeah, this is why I fear.
05:40- Come on, time to go home now, please.
05:45- Look.
05:46Well, you could spend the night at our flat, I suppose.
05:49You know, if you want.
05:50I mean, it ain't very much, but it's comfortable.
05:54Well no, it ain't really comfortable.
05:57You're more than welcome.
05:58You could have my bed.
06:00- But where will you sleep?
06:04- We'll think of something.
06:07Shall I take your case?
06:08- Thank you.
06:43- Listen, Kristos,
06:45everybody's got a cordless telephone these days except you.
06:49What?
06:50No, of course they're not faulty.
06:52I said of course they're not faulty.
06:56- Hi.
06:57- Hi.
06:58Yeah, what?
06:58- Do you get that little bird home?
07:01- Yeah, I got her home.
07:02See thing is, Del, she didn't actually have a hotel
07:05to go back to.
07:06- Alright, Rodney, can't you see I'm on the phone.
07:07What did you say, go on.
07:08- So I said she could spend the night here.
07:11- What do you mean you can spend the night here?
07:13- Come in, Anna.
07:14- Yeah.
07:15Hello, dar...
07:19-[Kristos] Del...
07:21- Alright, Kristos, listen, I've got to go.
07:24I'll hang up because something big has just turned up.
07:30- Anna, this is my brother Derek.
07:32Del, this is Anna.
07:33- Good evening.
07:34- Good evening, yeah.
07:35- And that's our Uncle Albert.
07:36- How do you do?
07:37- Hello dear, nice to meet you all.
07:41- May I sit down?
07:42- Yeah.
07:43Certainly.
07:44Sit here, that's it.
07:44Here. Put your bag down.
07:45That's it, good girl.
07:47There you go.
07:48- Do you fancy a bit of haddock?
07:49- Hey, no, no, you're alright, we've already eaten.
07:51I took her down the Star of Bengal.
07:54- Do you think a ruby was wise in her condition?
07:58Excuse me, excuse us.
07:59Rodney, can I have a private word with you
08:00in private please, thank you.
08:02- Yeah, yeah sure.
08:04I won't be a minute, Anna.
08:06- Albert, please try to entertain our guests.
08:11Shut the door.
08:14(closes door)
08:15- Del, I couldn't help it, honest.
08:16I mean, how was I to know she was pregnant?
08:18- How was I supposed to know she was pregnant?
08:20It doesn't take a doctor bleeding Spock
08:21to work that one out, Rodney!
08:23- Look, I'll take her out tomorrow and get her a room.
08:27- Rodney, what happens if that sprog of hers
08:29decides to clock in tonight?
08:32- I don't want to worry you two boys,
08:34but unless I'm very much mistaken
08:37that young girl out there's up the duff.
08:42- Why don't you go out and hit an iceberg, Albert?
08:45- I don't understand this.
08:46I just don't know what's happening to me just lately.
08:48I just do not know what's happening.
08:50I've got more relatives crawling out the woodwork
08:52than Blake Carrington,
08:54and now I'm taking in the waifs and strays of Europe.
08:57- Yeah, well that's why we gotta help, innit?
08:59'Cause we're in the European Community now,
09:01we've gotta stick together.
09:03- Pity her knees didn't.
09:07- Del, come on.
09:08We have got room in the flat, ain't we?
09:10I mean, it's only one more person.
09:11- Yeah, but it's one more person
09:13who's about to become two more persons.
09:15On the other hand it could be twins or triplets,
09:18or quadlets!
09:19- Yeah, he's right and all, Rodney.
09:21I mean, she could be sitting out there
09:23with a bellyful of people.
09:27One hot bath and we get chucked out for overcrowding.
09:31No, I'm sorry, Rodney, I'm sorry.
09:32No, we just...
09:33I cannot take the risk.
09:35Sorry, no.
09:36- Alright.
09:38Alright, we'll chuck her out in the street, shall we?
09:40But you go and give her the good news, Del!
09:48(clears throat)
09:51- Monchengladbach!
09:54See, see, the thing is, Anna, we've hit a bit of a snag.
09:59See, see, I mean, at this pacific moment in time,
10:03we are a bit knackered for space, see.
10:07- Please?
10:09- He say, there is no room at the inn.
10:12- Don't start all that Sunday school
10:13rubbish with me, Rodney.
10:16Unt plonker, yeah.
10:18- Please?
10:20- He's calling me a...
10:22Don't matter.
10:24- Who did the dirty deed then?
10:26- Please?
10:27- He says, who's the fath...
10:28Oi, that's a bit personal, innit?
10:29- Yeah, a bit personal.
10:31- Father, yes, I understand.
10:33Family I work with, Mr. and Mrs. Wainwright, have son,
10:36Spencer, who is a student.
10:38One day Spencer return from university with degree, yeah?
10:43I'm not drink but this day I have the champagne.
10:46Then I am spinning, yeah?
10:48Then Spencer comes to my room.
10:51He wants to, to, what word?
10:55- Oh, you mean he wants to--
10:56- Del...
10:59- He wants to be my friend, yeah?
11:00- What...
11:01While you were still spinning?
11:02- Yeah, I am still spinning.
11:04Then I find baby is here.
11:07I phone Spencer and he say
11:09I must not tell his parents he is father.
11:12But this morning, I am very worried and I tell them.
11:16They say I lie, they say I am bad person.
11:19Mr. Wainwright say "My disruptive influence on Spencer
11:25"makes it inexpedient for me to remain."
11:30- Please?
11:33- He say, "On your bike."
11:34- Oh! On your bike.
11:37- Mr. Wainwright, he is a...
11:40What word?
11:41- Git?
11:44- A businessman.
11:45A rich man.
11:47He give me money for journey home.
11:49- So why didn't you go?
11:50- I cannot go yet.
11:51My family will see baby.
11:54This is not good.
11:55So I wait, and when baby is born I give baby to people.
12:02- Yeah, yeah, I mean, you know,
12:04if you think so sweetheart, yeah.
12:08It's a terrible world this innit, Rodney?
12:11Terrible.
12:12Look, the best thing...
12:13Why don't you chuck this thing in your room,
12:15you know, for for tonight, you know.
12:17- Yeah.
12:18Cheers, mate.
12:20- Anna. Anna.
12:22Listen, you go with Rodney, see?
12:25Through there and he will show you
12:28where you, you know, kip tonight, yeah.
12:30- Thank you.
12:30- It's alright.
12:31Here you are girl, let me help you.
12:33I'll take these, now go on, you go, go around...
12:35- Straight through here.
12:36- It's through there.
12:37That's it.
12:38Open the door.
12:39Take that.
12:41Take this as well.
12:42- Mind the batteries.
12:44- Yeah, mind that.
12:45Alright, alright, goodnight now.
12:47Night.
12:50- It's a funny old world, innit?
12:52I mean, you take thousands of couples round the world
12:54all trying to have kids but can't.
12:58I remember my mate Nipper Townsend.
13:01Years and years him and his wife dreamed of having a kid.
13:04They never did though.
13:05- No...
13:06You got to take so many things into account, haven't you?
13:08Well, you notice, the temperature, the cycle,
13:11tight pants, all that.
13:13- True.
13:15Course, Nipper being stationed in Malta didn't help.
13:21Yeah.
13:22You seem to know a lot about all this medical malarkey.
13:25- Yeah well, I get it off Boycie and Marlene?
13:28You remember, Boycie, the second-hand car trader.
13:30- Yeah.
13:31- Yeah, well him and Marlene have been trying to have a,
13:34a little sprog for years but no joy.
13:37I mean, they've had more tests you know than the atom bomb.
13:41Still no good.
13:43I mean they've tried to foster and adopt but, no, nothing.
13:46Funny that?
13:47Funny.
13:49I mean they're stinking rich
13:50and yet with all that money
13:52they cannot buy the one thing they would most dearly love,
13:56a little baby.
13:57- Yeah.
13:58That's the way the cookie bounces, eh?
14:02- Yeah, I expect.
14:10- What's wrong?
14:12- No, nothing, nothing, no, I've just...
14:14I've just worked out that everything could work out
14:16very very cushty!
14:17(laughs)
14:20- Come on, Duke, get stick.
14:22Come on, Dukie.
14:24(barking)
14:25Duke, duke...
14:28Duke, get...
14:37(barking)
14:44- Say that again, Del Boy?
14:46- I said, I could help you have a baby.
14:51- What do you mean?
14:52You're willing to be one of them suffragette fathers?
14:56- No, no, no.
14:57What I mean is, I know where there's a baby going.
15:00- What? Knocked off?
15:05- No, no, no, it's all pukka!
15:08You see, I know this young German girl.
15:09Well she's...
15:10She hadn't been in our green and pleasant land
15:13for no more than three months
15:14when she was suddenly taken pregnant.
15:16- Oh, that's lovely innit, Marlene?
15:18In a little while from now
15:19we could be awakened by the pitter-patter of tiny jackboots.
15:24- Leave it out, Boycie.
15:25Look, he'd be brought up as yours wouldn't he.
15:27And anyway, the father is English.
15:29You see, the full story is...
15:31Rodney met this girl in the pub little while ago--
15:33- Hang about.
15:34You mean that dipstick Rodney is the father?
15:37- No, no, no, of course he ain't, Boycie, leave it out.
15:40What Rodney?
15:41Blimey, he don't know what it's all about yet.
15:44Haven't you seen the funny way he still stirs his tea?
15:47No.
15:50Rodney, take your leg out of that dog's mouth!
15:55I despair of that boy, I really do.
15:58Anyway.
15:59The father is some sort of student geezer
16:02who's washed his hands of the whole affair
16:03and like, you know, he don't know.
16:05- Well him and me have got a lot in common,
16:06because I don't wanna know either.
16:08- Come on, hang on a minute, Boyce.
16:10Let's not be hasty.
16:11I mean, you are the one who's always going on about
16:13having a son and heir.
16:16- And it is a boy.
16:18- I didn't think it had been born yet.
16:20- She's had a scan.
16:22Let me show you something, look.
16:24I borrowed a passport so I could show you.
16:27There is a picture of her, look.
16:29Her name is Anna.
16:31She's a beautiful girl, isn't she?
16:32She's bound to have a handsome kid.
16:35And the student fellas father,
16:37is a very very successful businessman.
16:39So the kid's gonna have everything, you know.
16:41Good looks, brains, business acumen.
16:44Just the sort of son and heir that you'd need
16:46for your second hand car empire, Boycie.
16:50- We can at least talk about it, Boycie.
16:53- Well, alright then, alright, love.
16:56Just give us a couple of minutes, will you, Del?
17:06- I think I've tired him out.
17:12He's a rascal.
17:18What they doing?
17:19- It's alright, nothing.
17:20They're just having a bit of a chat.
17:21Go and get yourself a little ale,
17:22and top me up while you're over there, alright.
17:24- It is definitely a boy?
17:26- Yep, definitely a boy.
17:29- What's all that about?
17:30- No, no, nothing, Boycie's thinking of getting a boat
17:32and I'm gonna get him some equipment see.
17:34- Oh, that sort of buoy.
17:36- This German bird, is she healthy?
17:38- Healthy?
17:39She's Boris Becker's cousin.
17:42- What the bloody hell is going on here, Del?
17:44- It's alright, Rodney, it's alright.
17:45I was gonna tell you.
17:46See, the thing is Boycie and Marlene might have Anna's baby.
17:50- What!
17:51What is this a raffle?
17:53Del, this is a tiny human being we're talking about!
17:56This is flesh and blood!
17:57It's Anna's child!
17:58- Yes, I know that Rodney.
17:59But Anna wants it adopted,
18:00and Boycie and Marlene want to adopt.
18:03- Yeah, well, if that's what they want
18:04they can go to an adoption society?
18:06- No, we've tried lots of times, Rodney,
18:08but they always turn us down.
18:09It's because of his record.
18:12- Boycie did a little bit of a stretch
18:13when he was younger, you know.
18:15- Yeah. What for?
18:16- Perjury,
18:19embezzlement,
18:22conspiring to pervert the course of justice,
18:26the fraudulent conversion of traveler's checks
18:28and attempting to bribe the Mayor of Lambeth.
18:34See, it's any little thing with these adoption people.
18:38- Leave it out, Boycie,
18:39with your record I'm surprised we're allowed to keep a dog.
18:43- Yeah, but it's all in the past!
18:46I mean how many times have I gotta repay
18:48my debt to society?
18:49- Yeah, that's true.
18:50I mean, don't a person deserve a second chance?
18:54- Well, yeah, that's fair enough.
18:56- And that's exactly what we're gonna give this little baby.
18:58A second chance.
18:59A chance to live in this beautiful house.
19:02A chance to have a loving father and a doting mother.
19:05And they don't come more doting than that.
19:10I mean, even Duke's got a bib.
19:14- But it's illegal.
19:15- What?
19:16Giving a little baby love and warmth
19:18and a chance in life is against the law?
19:26- I don't know.
19:28The welfare people,
19:29they're gonna wonder where Anna's baby is?
19:31- It's obvious innit?
19:32It's with its mother, in Germany.
19:36- I think we've cracked it at last, Boycie.
19:39Well, you could tell everybody it's our own child.
19:41I mean, we're always reading in the papers
19:43about women giving birth
19:44who didn't even know they were pregnant.
19:47- It might raise a few eyebrows though.
19:49- Well yeah, but they're only neighbors.
19:53- I was thinking more of that gynecologist
19:54who examined you on Monday.
19:59- I'll never have to see him again, will I?
20:02Just give us a minute, Del.
20:03Come on, Boycie.
20:11- You're gonna earn out of this, ain't you?
20:14- How dare you!
20:15That's a terrible thing to say!
20:16What sort of bloke do you think I am?
20:19I'm doing it for Anna and for them two,
20:21most important of all,
20:22I'm doing it for that little unborn baby.
20:26- Oh look, I'm sorry.
20:27- No, no, don't touch me.
20:28Now, go, go, get out.
20:30- I'm sorry.
20:33But you are gonna earn out of it, ain't you?
20:35- Look.
20:35That is a cruel and callous jibe.
20:38- How much this all gonna cost?
20:45- Only her airline ticket home.
20:48And of course money for the birth certificate
20:50and a few quid to cover our petrol and telephone calls.
20:56Three grand should cover it, I should think.
21:03- Tea up, Del boy!
21:04- Shh!
21:05Can't you see I'm busy?
21:08Got you, you Martian git!
21:14Let me see, reset...
21:17What's up with you?
21:19- You know perfectly well what's up with me.
21:22Selling a baby.
21:23God, it's like something out of Dickens' times!
21:26- Rodney, listen.
21:27How many times has Boycie tucked me up, eh?
21:30That three grand isn't for the baby,
21:32it's just payment of old debts.
21:34- It's most probably for the best, son.
21:36I mean, Anna gets her baby adopted by a loving family.
21:39- That's right.
21:40Marlene gets the sprog she's always wanted.
21:42- And you get three grand.
21:43- Exactly, everyone's a winner.
21:45- Yeah, everyone...
21:47Everyone except Anna.
21:48- Au contraire, Rodney, au contraire.
21:50Because as soon as old Boycie weighs in with the poppy
21:53I'm going straight down the bureau de change
21:55and I'm gonna get a few hundred translated for her.
21:57So that means that Anna is gonna go straight back
21:59to the Fatherland with 300 drachma in her bin.
22:03(Anna grunting)
22:08She's in pain.
22:09- How do you know, you can't speak German.
22:15- This is it.
22:16This is it.
22:17- No, no, no, it's not.
22:18- Yes, it is.
22:19- Maybe it's just indigestion.
22:20- It's not indigestion.
22:21Listen to me, listen to me!
22:22Go in the kitchen and get a glass of water, go!
22:23- Right! - Yes!
22:25- You ain't giving her Andrews, are you?
22:26- Don't be a plonker!
22:29Look, I want you to phone the hospital,
22:30go on, get on the blower.
22:32Don't forget, call the maternity unit, alright, yeah.
22:36- I'll hold the lift.
22:37I'll hold the lift.
22:38- Yes.
22:39Deep breaths. Deep breaths.
22:40Deep breaths.
22:41Deep...
22:43- How the bloody hell do these phones work?
22:45- Right, listen.
22:46When did you start getting the pains, darling?
22:48- They come this morning.
22:49- This morning.
22:50It's alright, don't worry, don't worry,
22:51you'll be alright now,
22:52because the ambulance is gonna come any minute
22:54so you'll be alright.
22:54Don't worry, you just relax, everything's gonna be cushty.
22:59How are you getting on? - Del!
23:00- It's alright, darling.
23:01- Danke.
23:02- It's alright, it's alright.
23:04Vorsprung durch Technik!
23:08(screams)
23:17Sit down, Marlene, you're doing up the Wilton.
23:20- Sit down, Marlene!
23:23- The baby's alright, ain't he, Del?
23:25- Yes, yes, Marlene, for the umpteenth time.
23:27You're gonna have a beautiful bouncing baby.
23:31- What's he weigh?
23:32- Dunno, he hasn't stopped bouncing yet.
23:35Ain't stopped bouncing.
23:37I don't know, seven pounds something.
23:40- We've decided to call him Mark.
23:44- That's handy, 'cause his Father's name was Spencer.
23:50That's it, they're back, they're back.
23:51He's here, they're here.
23:52Alright, alright. Alright.
23:53Don't, don't panic, stay, it's alright?
23:55Calm down.
23:55Calm down. It's alright...
23:58Everything alright, Rodders?
23:59- No, everything is not bloody--
24:00- Shh!
24:02Boycie and Marlene are here.
24:03- Are they here already?
24:04Have you told them about their little boy?
24:06- What about him?
24:07- About him being a little girl.
24:08- No.
24:09I haven't broken the news yet.
24:11I mean, how could that Anna do that to me?
24:13After all I've done for it.
24:15So what's wrong then?
24:15- Well for one, Anna has fallen in love with her baby.
24:18- She's done what?
24:20No, she can't do that to me.
24:22No, she can't do...
24:22Look, a deal's a deal.
24:24Alright, alright, just sort it out.
24:26Sort it out.
24:27Alright, Albert?
24:28Alright, I'll sort it out.
24:29Here she is.
24:30Hello sweetheart, how you feeling?
24:32- Oh, I am fine thank you.
24:33- Oh good.
24:34Here, let me take.
24:35- I think maybe things are not cushty.
24:38I think maybe now I keep baby.
24:41- No, no, no.
24:42You can't do that darling, no, no, no.
24:44Because you know, we'll have the VAT people round here.
24:48Come in, come in, I'll explain everything.
24:49Go on, you go in there, that's it, darling, go on.
24:51In you go.
24:52Put the baby...
24:53Put the baby down there.
24:55First of all,
24:57these are the very nice people who are gonna buy...
25:01Look after your baby.
25:03There they are.
25:04(crying)
25:09- Someone upset her?
25:11- No, no, no.
25:12She's just got like baby blues, that's all.
25:15Just a minute, Boycie, just a minute.
25:17I'm gonna have to come clean, you see...
25:19The thing is, it's about your little baby boy...
25:22He ain't.
25:24- Ain't what?
25:25- Well, he ain't a little baby boy.
25:27- What is it then?
25:33- It's a little baby girl innit, eh?
25:35- A girl?
25:36But you said she'd had a scan.
25:37- I know what I told you, alright, Boycie.
25:38I know I told you it was gonna be a boy, it ain't.
25:40Just keep your money the deal's off.
25:42- I don't care if it's a boy, a girl or twins.
25:44It's a baby.
25:47- What?
25:49Alright, Marlene.
25:50We'll take it.
25:54It's amazing, innit?
25:55Everything you buy off him's got something missing.
26:05- Alright, don't look at me like that.
26:06What else could I do?
26:07- No good asking me, son.
26:08I ain't never flogged a baby before.
26:14- Rodney, you know I was doing it for Anna, weren't I?
26:18I was only trying help.
26:20- What do you want, applause?
26:23- Alright, Boycie, sorry, no, sorry mate.
26:24Listen, the deal's off.
26:26It's off, alright.
26:27- Is that right, Del?
26:28The deal's off is it?
26:29Too bleeding right, it's off.
26:31- What are you talking about?
26:39What? How?
26:43- That's the other thing I meant to tell you out there.
26:47You see Spencer's mommy and daddy came over in 1956
26:52from the West Indies.
26:57- Well it don't bother me, Boyce.
27:00- Leave off, Marlene.
27:03The baby's brown.
27:07- So is Duke.
27:13- But I ain't claiming to be Duke's father.
27:17- There is a likeness though.
27:21- Shut it.
27:23- We could say it's a throw-back.
27:25- For God's sake, Marlene.
27:28I might be able to con people into buying my cars.
27:31I might be able to convince them
27:32that you conceived and gave birth in seven days flat,
27:35but how the hell am I gonna persuade them
27:36that my grandad was Louis Armstrong?
27:42You ain't heard the last of this, Del Boy.
27:51- I suppose he's right, eh Del?
27:55- Yeah.
27:58Yeah.
28:00You know it makes sense, eh.
28:03- Still, it was a nice little dream while it lasted, eh?
28:08- Yeah.
28:10- Well, I'm gonna turn round now.
28:13I'm gonna walk out that door
28:16and I ain't gonna look back.
28:21- No, of course not.
28:30(crying)
28:35(Anna crying)
28:38(baby crying)
28:42God.
28:43Women.
28:45Shh.
28:46Anna.
28:46Anna, come on, come out here, your baby's hungry.
28:50Quiet, quiet, quiet, your mommy's coming.
28:53She is.
28:54Ain't you got bright eyes, eh?
28:57Look at that.
28:59She's gonna be a blinder when she gets older.
29:01Ain't she?
29:02Coochie coochi coo.
29:04Coochie coochi coo.
29:06Coochie...
29:07Eww.
29:14♫ We've got some half price cracked ice
29:16♫ And miles and miles of carpet tiles
29:17♫ TV's, deep freeze, and David Bowie LP's
29:20♫ Ball games, gold chains, what's-names, pictures frames
29:23♫ And Trevor Francis track suits
29:25♫ From a mush in Shepherds Bush
29:29♫ No income tax, no VAT
29:32♫ No money back, no guarantee
29:36♫ Black or white, rich or poor
29:39♫ We'll cut prices at a stroke
29:43♫ God bless Hooky Street
29:46♫ Viva Hooky Street
29:49♫ Long live Hooky Street
29:52♫ C'est magnifique, Hooky Street
29:56♫ Magnifique, Hooky Street
30:00♫ Hooky Street
30:03♫ Hooky Street
30:06♫ Hooky Street
30:10♫ Hooky