Only Fools and Horses S06E03 — Chain Gang

Every line from “Chain Gang” (1270 quotes). Click one to open the meme editor on the exact frame, ready to caption and share.

Only Fools and Horses S06E03 meme — “What?”

00:03♫ Stick a pony in me pocket
00:06♫ I'll fetch the suitcase from the van
00:10♫ 'Cause if you want the best 'uns
00:12♫ But you don't ask questions
00:14♫ Then brother I'm your man
00:17♫ 'Cause where it all comes from is a mystery
00:21♫ It's like the changing of the seasons
00:23♫ And the tides of the sea
00:25♫ But here's the one that's driving me berserk
00:29♫ Why do only fools and horses work
00:32♫ La la la la la la la la la
00:36♫ La la la la la la la la la
00:40♫ La la la la la la
00:59-[Roulette Dealer] Number 52, red.
01:08- Wotcha, Del Boy.
01:09- All right, Trig?
01:10- No Dave?
01:11- Yeah, he's on his way down later.
01:12He's bringing that bird of his, what's her name, Cassandra.
01:15- He's going a bit serious, ain't he?
01:17- No, girls always blow him out after a couple of weeks.
01:19That boy's been blown out more times than a windsock.
01:21(audience laughing)
01:24Trig, don't look now,
01:25but you see the bloke at the bar with the bow tie?
01:28I said don't look now.
01:29-[Trig] Who, Arnie?
01:31- Yeah, Arnie.
01:31Do you know much about him?
01:32- No, not a lot.
01:33He only moved to the area a few weeks ago.
01:36He seems a nice bloke though.
01:38He's a retired jewelry dealer, ain't he?
01:40- Yeah, that's what he told me.
01:41He's retired early, though, ain't he?
01:43- Perhaps he made enough, Del.
01:45Why, you lining something up, then?
01:47- Well no, it's nothing, Trig.
01:49It's just that I've been, you know, having a few drinks
01:51and chats with him over the last couple of weeks
01:53and he let slip that even though he's retired
01:55he still likes to do a bit of private business, you know,
01:58all cash and confidentiality,
02:00just enough to keep the old tax man at bay.
02:03So I thought I might give him a shove,
02:05you know, see what I can pick up.
02:07- I heard your firm was broke.
02:09- You know me Trig, I'm a businessman,
02:11I've always got a little bit pugged away for emergencies.
02:14Anyway, who told you we was broke?
02:15- Dave.
02:16- Ah, you don't want to take any notice of him.
02:17He's only my financial advisor.
02:19What does he know?
02:20God, look at these cards, Trig.
02:22I'm not gonna get anywhere at this rate.
02:25- Try these.
02:27- Trig you can't do that.
02:29Yeah, pay me.
02:30(audience laughs)
02:34Oh, here you go.
02:37- How's it going?
02:38- Oh, hello, Arnie.
02:39Didn't spot you there.
02:40- I've only been here about five minutes.
02:42Most of that time spent talking to that doorman.
02:45Otto or whatever his name is.
02:47-[Del] Yeah, what's up with him then?
02:49- Ah, nothing, it's just, you know, I'm not a member,
02:50so I usually drop him a few quid to get in.
02:53And tonight the price has suddenly gone up 30%.
02:56Still, it's only money, isn't it?
02:57- Yeah, anyway listen, if you get yourself a membership form
03:00I'll second you if you like.
03:01- Will you really?
03:02- Yeah.
03:03- That's very nice of you, Del.
03:04- That's all right.
03:05- I'd stand that if I were you.
03:07They pay 19's, you know.
03:08- No, that's not my style, Arnie, not my style.
03:10He who dares, wins.
03:15Fancy a drink?
03:16(audience laughs)
03:19- Evening, Otto.
03:20- Evening, Mr Grayson, how's business?
03:22- Well, I've just gone into voluntary liquidation again.
03:26- Oh, congratulations, sir.
03:28- Thank you, Otto.
03:30Good luck tonight, Mr Grayson.
03:33(audience laughs)
03:37- Evening, Otto. (grunts)
03:41Cassandra, I'm just going to have a word with the doorman.
03:45Is there a problem, Otto?
03:46- Members only.
03:48- I am a member.
03:49- Where's your membership card?
03:53- I appear to have left it at home.
03:54- If you give me 20 quid, I'll let you in free.
03:58- Come on, now I'm a member,
04:00I've been a member for about five years or so.
04:02- I'm afraid I shall have to ask you to leave, sir.
04:05Where would you like to land?
04:07- Come on, what's the--
04:09- Oh it's all right, Otto, he's Del Boy's brother.
04:12- Is that right?
04:12- Yeah, honest.
04:14Oh, all right then, in that case, have a nice evening, sir.
04:18(audience laughs)
04:24- He's a laugh, old Otto.
04:27Always larking about.
04:30- So the grave digger says to the vicar,
04:33"Well, I've got to have somewhere to park me bike."
04:35(all laugh)
04:38- Listen, I'll see you in a minute, Arnie.
04:44Hello, hello, hello, hello.
04:45- Oh Cassandra, this is my brother, Derek,
04:48and Del, this is Cassandra.
04:49- Hello, Cassandra, very pleased to meet you.
04:52Rodney's told me all about you.
04:54Don't worry, I'm not the type to shout it all about.
04:56- That's very kind of you, Derek.
04:58Rodney's told me all about you as well.
05:00Although I must admit I didn't believe him, until now.
05:03(audience laughs)
05:07- I like her, I like her, yeah.
05:09- Yeah, well, shall we sit down, Cass?
05:11- Can I get you a drink, sweetheart?
05:12- Just a coke and ice, please, I'm driving.
05:14- Right, okay, Rodney you?
05:16- Non-alcoholic lager top.
05:17- All right, yeah, hey (chuckles).
05:28So what line of work you in, Cassandra?
05:30- I work for a bank.
05:32- Oh really?
05:33Tell me, do they do loans?
05:35- Why don't you leave Cassandra alone?
05:37- No, no, so I'm only being polite.
05:39- They do arrange loans according to status of course.
05:42- Leaves you out then, don't it?
05:46- I don't actually work on that side of things.
05:48I'm in overseas investment.
05:50- Del does a bit of that.
05:51Albanian watches, Turkish raincoats, that sort of thing.
05:55- Would you like me to go and tell Otto
05:57what you called him just now?
06:00Rodney tells me your dad's in business.
06:01- Yes, he's got his own printing workshop.
06:03- Oh, yeah?
06:04What sort is that, family business, passed on sort of?
06:07- No, there was no silver spoon involved.
06:09He used to live on a council estate around this area.
06:11- Oh really?
06:13Well, perhaps I know him.
06:14- Oh God.
06:15- Well now, what's his name?
06:16- Parry, Alan Parry.
06:17- Parry, Alan Parry, yes, a little fella,
06:20one brown eye, one blue eye, talks with a squint,
06:23walks with a stutter.
06:24- That's him!
06:25(audience laughs)
06:28- Listen, I'm gonna leave you two lovebirds.
06:31And just remember, Cassandra, Rodney tells me everything.
06:35- Thanks for the warning.
06:36(Del laughs)
06:39- I'm sorry about him, Cass.
06:41- Why are you apologizing?
06:43I think he's lovely.
06:45(audience laughs)
06:46- Del?
06:47- Yeah, he makes me laugh.
06:51- Well, yeah, he's all right I suppose, at times.
06:56- Well, I'd better make a move.
06:59Gotta be up early for work in the morning.
07:01I'll be glad when I'm retired like you, Arnie.
07:03- Yeah, you can't beat it, Trigger.
07:05Drag yourself out of bed about 11 o'clock
07:07just in time to relax for the rest of the day.
07:10- You retired a bit early though, didn't you, Arnie?
07:12I thought you jewelry dealers were making
07:14so much bunce, you carried on 'til you dropped.
07:16- Yeah, that's exactly what happened.
07:17- Eh?
07:19- Keeled over on the floor one day.
07:21Ticker trouble, stress of business.
07:23Doctors gave me six months to live.
07:27- Oh yeah, oh, yeah, well.
07:29- Yeah, well, you don't wanna take too much notice
07:32of these doctors, Arnie.
07:33They'll say anything to get rid of you.
07:35- That's right.
07:36Now, you take that Georgie Collis.
07:38I mean they only gave him six months to live.
07:39He was gutted, weren't he, Trig?
07:40- Well, upset.
07:41- Yeah, then they discovered, of course,
07:43that they'd only mixed up his records with another bloke's.
07:45- Yeah, but the other bloke only had three months to live.
07:47(audience laughs)
07:50- Yeah, yeah, I know, I know that Trig,
07:52that's not the point, though, is it?
07:53I was just trying to say to Arnie
07:54is that these doctors can make mistakes.
07:56- No, no, you don't understand.
07:57The doctors said I didn't have long to go
07:59unless I changed my lifestyle.
08:01That's exactly what I did, gave up all the boozing and fags.
08:05Started doing all the little things I hadn't done for years,
08:08walking, breathing some decent air.
08:11Have you any idea of the kind of damage
08:13that alcohol and nicotine does to your heart?
08:18(audience laughs)
08:20- Same again, Del?
08:21- No thanks, bruv, I'll just have a mineral water.
08:23(audience laughs)
08:25- Arnie?
08:25- Mineral water for me too, son.
08:26- Yeah, nothing for me, Dave, I'm off.
08:29I'll see you around, then.
08:30- Yeah, see you, Trig.
08:31- Yeah, but the most important thing I ever did, Derek,
08:33the thing that changed my life
08:35was getting out of the business,
08:36getting away from all that stress.
08:38I mean you might not believe this, I used to be taut.
08:42- Really, what was you learning then?
08:44- Taut
08:45- Hmm?
08:46- Tight, nervous tension.
08:47- Oh, taut, taut, you mean, oh like, yeah.
08:50- Got away from all that now.
08:51Got me little house, got me wife Pat,
08:54lovely caring woman, got me boys, Gary and young Steven.
08:59What more could a man ask for?
09:01♫ And I think to myself, what a wonderful world
09:06(audience laughs)
09:07- Cheers, bruv.
09:12You still do a bit, though, don't you?
09:14- Well, occasionally with the right sort of person.
09:17Basically I'm just getting rid of stuff I've been left with.
09:20- Oh right, well you don't forget you know, I am a trader.
09:24- Interested in jewelry?
09:25- I'm interested in anything, Arnie.
09:28- And you don't mind if it's arrived
09:29on the market via an unorthodox route?
09:32- No, of course not.
09:33I do understand that some things have a tendency to,
09:34you know, float out of factory windows.
09:37I mean, that's just mother nature isn't it, eh?
09:39- Are you in a hurry?
09:40- I got all the time in the world, Arnie.
09:42- Meet me in the back of the car park in an hour's time.
09:45- Yeah, cushty.
09:48- Won't be long.
09:53- Lovely jubbly.
09:58(footsteps click)
10:00- Well, good night, Del, lovely meeting you.
10:02- And you too, sweetheart.
10:03And don't forget, I won't say a word.
10:05- Thank you.
10:07- I'll see you in a little while.
10:09- Wait, Rodney, where do you think you're going?
10:13- Cassandra's giving me a lift home.
10:14- Ah, it's all right, don't bother yourself, sweetheart.
10:15We've got the van here.
10:20- Excuse me one moment, while I go and kill him.
10:28What do you think you're playing at, Derek?
10:29- I told you I've got a bit of a deal
10:31going down here in a little while.
10:33- Yeah, and I told you I don't want nothing to do with it.
10:36- I know you did, but I gotta meet that Arnie
10:39in the back of the car park there, it's nice and dark.
10:41Now I have only just recently met the geezer
10:42so I don't know what I'm walking into,
10:44so I would appreciate a bit of backup, all right?
10:47- Yeah, but I wanted to say good night to Cassandra.
10:52- Go on, then say good night,
10:54you get back here a bit lively.
10:55- No, I meant,
10:59oh, bloody hell!
11:00(audience laughs)
11:04Oh, give me a couple of minutes.
11:13- What's happening?
11:14- I'm gonna have to drive Del home, he's drunk.
11:17- Drunk?
11:18He doesn't look drunk.
11:19- No, I know, t's a bad sign with him.
11:23He hides it well, you see.
11:25But I tell you, you could push him over
11:27with just one little finger he'd fall flat on his face.
11:31It's a problem of his I've had to live with
11:33since I was a little kid.
11:35- How sad.
11:36- Yeah, I know, it's tragic.
11:41Still, never mind, eh?
11:56(audience laughs)
11:59- Blimey, let the poor girl up for air, Rodney.
12:04- Hands Rodney.
12:05- Sorry, do you fancy coming out for a meal on Thursday?
12:09- I thought I'd told you I'm on a week's training course.
12:12- Yeah, but you must be able to get a few hours off.
12:14- Well, yes, if you fancy flying over to Guernsey,
12:16I'd love to have dinner with you.
12:18- Guernsey, you gotta go all the way over to Guernsey?
12:21- Yes, I did ask Guernsey if it would like to come to me,
12:24but it refused point blank.
12:26- I've heard about these company training courses.
12:28They're just an excuse for loads of people to hold an orgy.
12:31- Really?
12:32- Please be serious for one moment, Cassandra.
12:35- Look, Rodney, if what you've heard is true.
12:38and all these perfectly staid and boring people
12:40suddenly hurl themselves into a pit of carnal abandon,
12:44it doesn't mean I have to join in, does it?
12:46- No, I suppose not.
12:47- No suppose about it.
12:51- No, I'm sorry, you're right.
12:53- Course I'm right,
12:55I mean, I'll take my whip, just in case.
13:00- I'll phone you.
13:01- I'll phone you as well.
13:03- Better make sure we don't phone at the same time,
13:05otherwise we'll both be engaged.
13:07(audience laughs)
13:13I love you.
13:14- Do you?
13:18And I (coughs).
13:20(audience laughs)
13:21(Rodney coughs)
13:24(audience laughs)
13:28- Come on now, Rodney, he's here.
13:33- Don't have a nice time, will you?
13:35- I'll try not to.
13:57- What were you doing with that girl?
13:59- I was saying good night.
14:00- Saying good night?
14:02She had her head in your mouth at one point.
14:04(audience laughs)
14:05- You mean you was watching?
14:07- I couldn't do anything else.
14:08Last time I saw anything like that it was in a circus.
14:11- You saucy git! (coughs)
14:14- What's up?
14:15- I've got a tickle in me throat.
14:17- You've most probably got her wig stuck in it.
14:18(audience laughs)
14:22All right?
14:24- Hop in the back.
14:26- Go on, get in the back Rodney.
14:28Go on, get in the back.
14:39-[Arnie] Sorry I'm a bit late.
14:40- It's all right, Arnie, no problem.
14:44- Open that.
14:48(briefcase clicks)
14:51- Jeez!
14:54- What'd you do, mug Mr. T?
14:56(audience laughs)
14:57- There's 250 chains there in 18 karat gold.
15:02Now if it was to go to some poncy Bond Street shop,
15:05you know the sort, with plenty of mark up,
15:07they'd want 200 quid for each of those.
15:10There's 50,0000 pounds sitting there.
15:13- 50 grand?
15:15Hey, wait a minute,
15:18this ain't the result of some raid, is it?
15:20- No, no, nothing like that.
15:22No, no, look, six months ago a client of mine
15:24asked me if I could get hold of these sort of things
15:26for him for the right price.
15:28Do you know Maxi Stavros?
15:31- No, I don't.
15:32- Oh, you're lucky.
15:33Well, he's a nice enough guy, 'til it comes to money.
15:36Anyway, we agreed on a price,
15:37and he was gonna pay me 25 grand.
15:41And he's got all these contacts in the States, you see,
15:43this sort of thing sells really well over there.
15:46It's the English hallmarks, the Yanks love all that.
15:48Anyway, I acquired the goods,
15:51and I haven't heard from him since.
15:53- You could sue him for breach of contract.
15:56(audience laughs)
15:58- Listen to it, will you?
16:00- No, son, there's no contract between friends.
16:03It's a man's word, handshake, gentleman's agreement.
16:07Anyway, Mr. Stavros is not the sort of man
16:08you'd want to sue.
16:10No, he's never let me down before
16:11so I suppose he's got troubles.
16:13But then, so have I,
16:14I can't wait any longer.
16:16I'm gonna have to let these go at 1/2 the wholesale price.
16:20That's 50 quid each.
16:23- I mean well, I mean what's the catch?
16:25I mean, you said they came on an unorthodox route.
16:30- I didn't pay the VAT.
16:31- Ah.
16:33- I assumed that they were for retail
16:36outside the European Community,
16:38and therefore would not be liable to VAT.
16:42Now I'm lumbered with 'em.
16:45So what do you reckon?
16:46You still interested?
16:47- Well, yeah, yeah, I'm interested, yeah.
16:51Well, yeah, I'll take two.
16:52- Two?
16:53(audience laughs)
16:55- Oh all right, three.
16:57(Arnie laughs)
16:59No, I'm not running a corner shop, Del.
17:03I'm a dealer.
17:04I buy and sell jewelry in bulk.
17:06Either whole lot or none at all.
17:09- Yeah, I know.
17:11No, no, I know that, I know,
17:12it's just, I meant I'll take two or three
17:14as samples to show my clients, you know?
17:17- (chuckles) Yeah, 12,500 grand in cash
17:19and they're all yours.
17:22- Yeah, well, I don't think I've got that sort of money
17:25on me at the moment, Arnie.
17:28- (chuckles) I can wait.
17:30Look, you sell those around the pubs and the clubs,
17:33the worst you do is double your money.
17:36- I'll take 'em.
17:37- 12,500 pounds?
17:39(thud)
17:39(audience laughs)
17:40- Subject to a surveyor's report, of course.
17:43- Oh, of course.
17:45- Yeah, okay, then listen,
17:48do you know the Nag's Head in Peckham?
17:49- I'll find it.
17:50- Right, well, I'll see you there tomorrow at one o'clock.
17:53-[Arnie] Okay.
17:54And uh, look after them for me, won't ya?
17:57(Arnie chuckles)
18:10- You kicked me.
18:10- Yes, that's because you've got a big mouth, Rodney.
18:13You nearly gave Arnie the impression
18:14that we were small time.
18:16If I can just pull this off, Rodney,
18:18I will double my investment.
18:19- Del, where you gonna get 12,500 pounds?
18:24- Well, there's Boycie,
18:25he's got a lot of money, likes a gamble.
18:27Mike down the Nag's Head,
18:28he knows a bargain when he sees one.
18:30Yeah, I'll put together a little consortium.
18:32- What, you mean just hand the whole deal over to them?
18:34- No, no, no, no, I've got some money to put in.
18:36- No, Del, don't you remember what I told you the other day?
18:39Our partnership is virtually broke.
18:41- No, Rodney, our partnership is potless.
18:44What I mean is I've got some money to put in.
18:46- You?
18:48How much?
18:50- Oh, it's not, it's not a lot,
18:52it's just you know, 4 grand.
18:55- 4,000 pounds?
18:57(audience laughs)
18:57- It's my nest egg.
18:58- That's more like a bleedin' ostrich egg.
19:01Where'd you get that from?
19:03- Nah, it's just been money
19:04I've been saving up over the years.
19:05Little bit here, little bit there, you know,
19:06it soon builds up.
19:07- You conning git.
19:09- No, no, you could have done the same thing.
19:11-[Rodney] Don't talk to me.
19:12-[Del] No, you could have done.
19:13No, you could.
19:14Mum said to me on her deathbed, she said,
19:15"Del Boy--"
19:16-[Rodney] Shut up!
19:17-[Del] No, she did, she said,
19:18"You make sure that Rodney--"
19:20(door thuds)
19:24- You're back early.
19:25I thought you'd still be at the airport.
19:27- No, her plane got off on time.
19:29Where's Del?
19:30- Well, him and Arnie and the rest of the consortium
19:33have gone down the jewelers to have them chains examined.
19:35- The rest of the consortium?
19:37How many's in it?
19:38- Well, there's Del, there's Trigger, there's, there's Mike,
19:41there's that feller Boycie, and there's me.
19:42Of course, there could be more by now.
19:45- What's he playing at?
19:46He's gone a bit public, ain't he?
19:47- I've just been down the post office,
19:49and got my savings out.
19:51Pity you weren't interested, Rodney.
19:53You could have made yourself a nice few bob.
19:55- Well, yeah, I suppose I could have.
19:57Ah, but the thing, is, you see,
19:59them chains are part of a VAT rip-off, ain't they?
20:01- I know, that's why they're so cheap.
20:04Do you want a cuppa tea, son?
20:05- No, I don't want nothing.
20:07- What's wrong?
20:08- Nothing, everything's fine.
20:10- Look, you got her hotel number, give her a call.
20:13- No way, she was supposed to phone me at 12:30 and look.
20:18No, she's probably having a drink and a laugh
20:21with all them yuppy sorts from the bank.
20:23- She might be in bed, Rodney.
20:25- Eh?
20:26(audience laughs)
20:27- I mean, sleeping off the jet lag.
20:30- Jet lag, she's only gone to Guernsey.
20:34- So what the jeweler say?
20:36- They're pucca, unc.
20:37They are the real McCoy.
20:39(both laugh)
20:40Solid gold, 18-carat.
20:43Top-class workmanship, just like Arnie said.
20:46Oh, we'll double our money on these, have no fear.
20:48Very shrewd move of yours, Rodney, you know,
20:50not to get involved in this deal.
20:52- Shut up!
20:54- Ah, here they come, come on lads,
20:55come on, come one all, come in, that's it.
20:58Let's have a little celebration drink, shall we?
21:00- I think we should discuss the matter
21:02in private before we celebrate.
21:03I don't like being premature.
21:05- I know, Marlene said something about that the other day.
21:08(audience laughs)
21:14- I hope you don't mind, Arnie, but I and the consortium
21:16would like to have a little board meeting.
21:18- No, no, of course not.
21:20- Well, perhaps you'd like to wait in reception.
21:24- Go on, get in the kitchen there Arnie,
21:25you know, have some tea, help yourself.
21:27There's plenty of egg mayonnaise
21:28and tomatoes in the fridge.
21:28- No, that's OK, thanks very much.
21:30- I think I would prefer it
21:31if the gold stayed in the room with us.
21:34- That's all right Mr. Boyce,
21:35I'd like to keep an eye on it as well.
21:38So if I leave it here,
21:42then we can both see it, all right?
21:43- Perfect.
21:44-[Arnie] Thank you.
21:45- Thank you.
21:46Thanks very much Arnie, thanks a lot.
21:49What is the matter with you?
21:50You're giving Arnie the impression
21:51you don't trust him or something.
21:52- And he wouldn't be far wrong, would he?
21:54I don't even know the man.
21:56- Well, he seems a decent enough fella to me, Boycie.
21:58- That's right, that's right.
21:59He's a solid bloke, right, I can vouch for him.
22:01- Well he's played it straight down the line with us.
22:03He said those chains were worth 25k,
22:05and we've just had it confirmed by an independent jeweler.
22:08So what more do you want?
22:09- I want to know how he can afford to sell 'em
22:12at 50% less than their wholesale price.
22:15- 'Cause he bought 'em a long time ago
22:17when the price of gold was down.
22:18- Plus he didn't bother to tell
22:20those very nice people down at the VAT office.
22:26- All right, here is my seven grand.
22:30- Good, good, well done Boycie, good boy, good boy.
22:33Come on in, Michael, let's see you.
22:34- A thousand.
22:35- That's it, good, come on.
22:36- I've been a bit strapped recently, Del.
22:38I could only get 274 pounds.
22:41(audience laughs)
22:44My Aunt Reen had to pawn her necklace for that.
22:46- Yes, all right, Trig, don't worry, don't worry, mate.
22:48We'll double your money for you.
22:49Come on, Albert, do you go down the post office?
22:51- I didn't get as much as I thought, son.
22:53I only got a 189 pounds and 26 new pee.
22:56- Oh, you said that you had over 200 quid odd.
22:59- I know, I miscalculated the interest.
23:01- That means that we are 36 pounds
23:03and 24 pence short of the target.
23:06- Not any more you're not.
23:08(audience laughs)
23:10You can count me in.
23:12- Oh, thank God for the Great Gatsby here.
23:17All right, Arnie, Arnie, come on, the board meeting's over.
23:20- And have you reached an executive decision?
23:21- Yes, yes, we have, we have, the deal, the deal is on.
23:24It's on, it's on.
23:25- What a relief.
23:26Couldn't stand any more of that tea.
23:28(audience laughs)
23:30Yes, this, gentlemen, is yours.
23:35- (whistles) And here is the old do, re, mi.
23:39- Oh look at that (laughs), isn't that sweet?
23:42It reminds me of holidays in County Donegal.
23:44- Oh, is that a paddy 10 pence piece?
23:46Oh, I'll change that for you.
23:47- Oh don't worry, I won't bother counting, I trust you.
23:51- That's right, good.
23:52Well, we've all got to learn to trust each other, Arnie.
23:56Don't worry about Boycie.
23:57He's just got his funny little ways.
24:00You ask his missus.
24:01- Oh, that reminds me.
24:03Do you mind if I phone the wife?
24:04- Yeah, sure, no problem, no problem.
24:07Here, I'll get the phone for you.
24:08Here, what about that drink, then, chaps?
24:10Celebration drink, eh?
24:11You'll stay for one, aren't you Arnie?
24:12- Yeah, a quick one, Del.
24:13Mineral water, something like that.
24:14- Okay, good boy.
24:16Oh, Rodney, whip out there under the fridge
24:18in the kitchen will you, get the beers.
24:19- Well, seeing as how it's a special occasion
24:21I think I'll have a little drop of that port.
24:23- Yeah, same here, Del.
24:24- I'll hang on for a beer.
24:25- Pat, yeah, it's me, love, yeah.
24:28No, I don't know what time I'll be back.
24:30Soon as I can drag myself away from this bunch of toerags.
24:33(all laugh)
24:34- Don't wait up for him, Pat,
24:35he's probably on a ghoster.
24:37(all laugh)
24:37- Shut up, she'll think I'm back on the booze.
24:41So how's things at home love?
24:44What?
24:45No, I can't meet him, no!
24:47Hang, hang on.
24:50No, love, I haven't got them any more.
24:53Pat, I would not joke about a thing as serious as this.
24:56I've just this minute sold them to Del and his consortium.
25:00But I don't care how much money he's got.
25:02No, I am not getting excited.
25:05All right, look, I will meet him.
25:07And I will explain the situation, all right?
25:09All right, I'll call you.
25:13- Everything all right, Arnie?
25:14(audience laughs)
25:16- You know that client of mine I told you about?
25:19- Yeah, what, that Mr. Stavros or what have ya?
25:21- Yeah, he's in London.
25:22He wants to meet me for lunch.
25:25- You mean he's come to pick up the chains?
25:27- Yes, ironic isn't?
25:29He's got 25 grand in cash to give me,
25:32and I've just let 'em go for 12 1/2.
25:34- What's all this about, then?
25:36- Well, about six months ago Arnie made a deal
25:38on these chains with some international jeweler mush.
25:42- So they weren't yours to sell in the first place?
25:44- No, no, they belonged to me.
25:45No, Mr Stavros never actually gave me any money for them.
25:49But he's an odd sort of person.
25:51Once you've shaken on the deal,
25:52as far as he's concerned they're his property,
25:54and now he's come to collect.
25:56- And he's given to bouts of mindless violence, ain't he?
25:59- Very, very nasty.
26:00- If he wants a war, we'll give him one, won't we?
26:04- Huh?
26:04(audience laughs)
26:06- I don't like the sound of that.
26:08- Oh don't worry, Albert,
26:09there won't be many naval engagements in this one.
26:12- Well, look, why don't we just
26:13sell the chains back to Arnie
26:15with a small profit, of course.
26:16- Are you off your trolley?
26:18- Well, we'll still be making a bit each, Boyce.
26:20- Well we can double our money on these things.
26:24- Yeah, but Stavros is gonna
26:25give Arnie a bad time, ain't he?
26:27- I don't care if he redecorates Regent Street with Arnie.
26:30This is business!
26:32Now, I have every sympathy for Arnie's predicament,
26:34but at the end of the day,
26:35it's a bit like Mike's pub grub, tough!
26:38(audience laughs)
26:40- I don't believe you sometimes.
26:41I just don't believe you.
26:42You call yourself a businessman?
26:44You're missing the most important point
26:45of the whole situation.
26:47There is a man in London who wants to buy
26:49250 18 karat gold chains from Arnie here.
26:52He is willing to pay 25,000 pounds,
26:54with cash on the hip.
26:56But Arnie doesn't have them any more, we do.
27:02- So what are you saying, Del?
27:03(audience laughs)
27:06- Blimey, give me a piece of chalk, somebody, will ya?
27:09What I'm trying to say is,
27:10why don't we ask Arnie to keep his luncheon appointment
27:13with this man, and sell them chains for us?
27:15For which we will give Arnie what?
27:18Say, two grand for his trouble?
27:20- That way Stavros gets the goods at the agreed price.
27:23- Arnie gets a deuce in bunce,
27:25plus he keeps his kneecaps where nature intended.
27:28- And our consortium gets 10 1/2 grand profit
27:30for doing sod on.
27:32- Everyone's a winner (speaking in foreign language).
27:36(audience laughs)
27:37- Well, I like the sound of that, Del.
27:40- Yes, it's not a bad idea, Del.
27:42- Right, now then, okay then, now then,
27:44Arnie, where is this, where is this restaurant of yours?
27:47- It's a little place off the King's Road,
27:49so I'd better get my skates on.
27:52- Oh, I think it would be a good idea if we came with you,
27:55don't you, Arnie?
27:56- Yeah, he's right, you know Arnie,
27:57I mean, you don't wanna be walking across the estate
27:59with a case full of gold, do you?
28:00Not on your own, anyway.
28:02- Fair enough, well, let's get going, we haven't got long.
28:04-[Boycie] Hey, Trig, don't let him out of our sight.
28:06- Go on, go on.
28:07Quick, come on, Albert, get that down,
28:09you get in the van, come on, let's go.
28:14- Oh come on, Cassandra, ring.
28:21Well, I ain't phoning you, if that's what you think.
28:25I'm a man.
28:26(audience laughs)
28:32-[Host] May I help you, sir?
28:35- I'm expecting to meet Mr Stavros here.
28:37I wonder if he's booked?
28:38- Mr Stavros, yes, he has booked a table.
28:40I'm afraid the gentleman hasn't arrived yet.
28:42Would you care to wait at the table?
28:43- Yes.
28:44-[Host] (speaking in foreign language)
28:51Yes, gentlemen?
28:53- A table for two, please.
28:54- Have you booked?
28:55- No, we haven't.
28:56- I'm afraid we are very crowded at the moment.
28:58- This might make a bit of room.
29:01- Of course, grazie.
29:02Enrico (speaking in foreign language), grazie.
29:06- Thank you, thank you.
29:07It's all right.
29:11Cheers.
29:17(audience laughs)
29:37Why didn't you sit that side?
29:39- 'Cause I wouldn't be able to see Arnie then.
29:42Why, what's the matter?
29:44- It's just we're both sitting on the same side.
29:48Sort of next to each other.
29:51(audience laughs)
29:51- So?
29:53- So it might look a bit funny.
29:56- What do you mean?
29:57- People might think that we're a bit funny.
30:00(audience laughs)
30:03- Why don't you go and sit on the other side then?
30:05- 'Cause I wanna keep me eye on Arnie, don't I?
30:07- So do I.
30:07- Yes, I know, but it's my consortium.
30:09- I put most of the money in.
30:10- But it was my idea.
30:12(audience laughs)
30:16-[Host] Nice to see you again, sir.
30:20(audience laughs)
30:26(audience laughs)
30:31- Eh?
30:31- I said, get your hand off mine.
30:32People'll think we're a couple of woofters or something.
30:34- They can think what they like.
30:36I've got seven grand sitting up there,
30:37that's all I'm concerned with.
30:42- Do you reckon it'll turn violent in there?
30:44- I don't care if it does.
30:47- No?
30:48- No, this is a fast car.
30:51(audience laughs)
30:54- What's he doing, Rodney?
30:56- What do you mean, what's he doing?
30:57You can see what he's doing.
30:59He's sitting in the window there reading a menu.
31:03- It's a bit suspicious, isn't?
31:05- What, a bloke sitting in a restaurant reading a menu?
31:07Yeah, very iffy.
31:10- Could you get me a glass of water, please.
31:12I feel rather hot.
31:27- Would you care to order now, sir?
31:29- Yes, I'd like an ambulance.
31:30(audience laughs)
31:32- An ambulance, sir?
31:33- Yes, an ambulance, I'm not very well.
31:35- Yes sir (speaking in foreign language)!
31:45(audience laughs)
31:49- Are you all right, sir?
31:51- What's happened?
31:52- It's Arnie, he's had a coronary!
31:54- Well, what are we gonna do?
31:55- I don't know,
31:56I think you have to pump their chests or something.(450)
31:57- I'm talking about our bloody money and chains.
32:00- There's not much we can do now, is there?
32:01- My money and my gold ain't going
32:03to no National Health hospital.
32:05The entire kitchen staff'll be off to Miami if it does.
32:08- What're you gonna do?
32:09- Watch.
32:13Don't panic, I am a doctor.
32:16(audience laughs)
32:17Stand aside, stand aside.
32:19Let the dog see the rabbit.
32:25Oh yes, very nasty, he needs an operation.
32:29- He's not a doctor, he's mugging the poor man.
32:35-[Boycie] Hey!
32:35- You.
32:37(audience laughs)
32:42- Call the police!
32:43- Yes, yes, madam, I call the police.
32:48- All right, there'll be no need.
32:50I am an officer of the law.
32:53- I thought they were taller than that.
32:54- I'm a small town policeman.
32:56(audience laughs)
32:57(Boycie groans)
33:02- Do you get the impression
33:03all is not going according to plan?
33:05(audience laughs)
33:09- Okay, sunshine, you are nicked.
33:12Come on, out you go.
33:13Rest assured, madam,
33:14when we get him down the police station
33:16we'll give him a bloody good hiding.
33:18(Boycie grunts)
33:18Hey, come on you, out, come on.
33:21(siren blares)
33:28- Eh, what happened?
33:29- Arnie's had a coronary.
33:31- You mean he's dead?
33:32- No, no, he's still alive.
33:33The ambulance got here just in time.
33:38- So where's the money and the gold?
33:40- Where do you think it is?
33:41It's in Arnie's holdall!
33:42Why did you make us leave the restaurant?
33:43- Because they've just called the Old Bill.
33:46Arnie's got 7 1/2 grand of your unlaundered money.
33:49Plus a case full of gold from a VAT fraud.
33:52Do you wanna tell the police that it's really yours?
33:54- Why didn't you try and get the case off his wrist?
33:56- Oh, cold blind O'Reilly,
33:58you tried that, didn't you?
33:58And you got a punch in the nose
33:59and a whack over your head for your trouble.
34:01What do you think I am, a wally or something?
34:03- So how we gonna get it back?
34:04- It's all right, we'll go to the hospital.
34:06All we gotta do
34:07is find out what time the visiting hours are.
34:09It'll be cushty!
34:14- But we don't know which hospital they're taking him to.
34:17- We'll follow 'em.
34:18Mike, your car's pretty nippy.
34:20You do the following.
34:21- Right, mate.
34:23(audience laughs)
34:25I don't believe it, I've been clamped.
34:29(siren blares)
34:32- Rodney, follow that ambulance!
34:37(all chatter excitedly)
34:43What a plonker.
34:46(audience laughs)
34:53- Right, I'm gonna make a couple of phone calls, Del.
34:55- Leave that phone alone, Michael.
34:56No one touches it.
34:58- I've just been clamped.
34:59I've got to phone the authorities, sort it all out.
35:02- Look, I'm expecting a very important phone call
35:04any minute now from Rodney, or Arnie, or the hospital.
35:07You just sort your car out tomorrow.
35:09-[Boycie] What's good for a broken nose?
35:11- A baseball bat, knuckleduster.
35:13(audience laughs)
35:15- I mean, my nose might be broken.
35:18- Will you shut up going on about your hooter?
35:21Or I'll ram this up it for a splint.
35:22(audience laughs)
35:25Rodney, Rodney, good boy, what's happened?
35:26- We followed the ambulance down to St. Stephen's Hospital.
35:29- St. Stephen's Hospital, right, now we know where to visit.
35:32- No, that's where we lost 'em.
35:34- You lost 'em?
35:35- Yep, they just went straight down the Fulham Road.
35:37- Oh Gordon Blue!
35:40I mean, how could you possibly lose an ambulance?
35:43It's a ruddy great big white thing
35:44with a flashing blue light on the top!
35:47And in case your peepers ain't too clever,
35:49it makes a sound like an air-raid siren!
35:51- It can also goes straight through red lights.
35:53- So what we going to do now?
35:55All our money and our gold is lying in some matron's office.
35:58- It's all right, Boycie, don't worry.
35:59Listen, we'll, we'll phone every hospital
36:01and ask if he's there.
36:02- No, no, no, hospitals won't give you
36:03that sort of information over the phone.
36:05- All right, well, we'll drive round them all, then.
36:07- Well, that's gonna take forever.
36:09There must be 25 hospitals in London.
36:11- Oh, thank God for the Tory Party,
36:12otherwise there could have been 30.
36:14(audience laughs)
36:15(phone rings)
36:16- Albert, answer that.
36:17If that is Rodney's girlfriend,
36:18tell her to phone back later.
36:19Look, it doesn't matter how long it takes
36:21as long as we find him, does it?
36:23- Del, it's some Indian doctor from Arnie's ward.
36:26- Well, tell him I haven't got time to talk to him now,
36:27I'm trying to find out.
36:28(all scream and yell)
36:30Hello, hello, hello doctor.
36:34Yes, this is he.
36:36Arnie, yes, yes, Arnold.
36:40Yes, oh yes, I knew the deceased very well.
36:44We, deceased?
36:47Do you mean to say that he is dead?
36:48- Oh I love him, I just love him.
36:51- Yes, yes, it's come as a very nasty shock, yeah.
36:54- What about our loot?
36:57- Doctor, yes, I wondered, Arnie had about his person
37:02a couple of little keepsakes of mine.
37:05I wondered if you had found them.
37:07What?
37:08It's 250 18-carat gold chains
37:10and 12,500 grand in used notes.
37:12(audience laughs)
37:14His widow has taken all his belongings?
37:18I just wondered if you could give me her address.
37:21No no, I am a personal friend of theirs.
37:24Now it's just that they moved recently, you see,
37:26and I wanted to make sure she got hold of me
37:28about the funeral arrangements.
37:31Yes, I know,
37:32I know you're not supposed to give out addresses
37:34to any Tom, Dick or Harry but this is different.
37:37Doctor, look, I'll give you a good drink.
37:40No, don't hang up.
37:44He's hung up.
37:45- Did he give you her address?
37:47- No, he said he couldn't, it's confidential.
37:49- Well, how are we going to find her, then?
37:50- I don't know yet!
37:52- Hey, I could go down to the town hall
37:54and find his name on the electoral register.
37:56- Well done, Rodders, good thinking.
37:57- No, he only moved here recently from Lambeth.
37:59He wouldn't be on the list yet.
38:01- You dipstick!
38:02(audience laughs)
38:04- Well, all right, I'll go down to Lambeth Town Hall, then.
38:07- Good idea Rodney, go on, go to Lambeth.
38:09- Right, Arnold what?
38:11-[Del] Eh?
38:11- What's his surname?
38:13- I dunno, I never caught his surname.
38:15Well, does it matter?
38:17- Well, of course it matters.
38:19They aren't gonna be down on the electoral registers
38:20as Arnie and Pat are they?
38:22(audience laughs)
38:23- This is something else!
38:25- Eh, the One Eleven Club,
38:26they'll have his full name and address
38:27on his membership form.
38:28-[Rodney] Yes, yes.
38:29- No, no, no, he wasn't a member.
38:32- I've got an idea.
38:34- The phone!
38:36- Oh my God, he's hearing things now.
38:39- Arnie was the last one to dial out on this phone.
38:41He called his wife at their house, remember?
38:45- So what?
38:46- This phone's gotta redial button.
38:48If you press that,
38:49you'll get straight through to Arnie's house.
38:57- Mwah!
38:59(audience laughs)
39:02All right, all right.
39:03- How we gonna explain it to her, eh?
39:04It looks a bit bad turning up just before the funeral
39:06laying claim to most of his estate.
39:08- No, it's all right.
39:09Arnie told her that he'd sold the chains to Del,
39:12so there'll be no problem.
39:13- Wait a minute, shh!
39:15Hello, hello?
39:17Hello, I'm awfully sorry to bother you
39:20in your hour of darkness.
39:22Yes, but I was a friend of Arnie's
39:24and I was just wondering, sorry?
39:28Oh, oh sorry, sorry, beg your pardon.
39:31Sorry to have bothered you, bye.
39:34Strange, isn't it?
39:36I've just got through
39:37to the Highcliffe ruddy Hotel, Guernsey.
39:40(audience laughs)
39:43- I'm sorry, Del.
39:44Look, I only called to see
39:45whether Cassandra got there safely.
39:47- And that's it, isn't?
39:49We've done our money and it's vanished into thin air.
39:52- Oh, now Boycie, Boycie--
39:53- I am going to see if I can buy myself a little doll
39:57that looks something like you.
39:59And then I'm going to burn it.
40:02(audience laughs)
40:04- Boycie, keep your chin up.
40:05Boycie, just keep your chin up, eh?
40:07- I am going to get my car unclamped, Del.
40:10Thanks for everything.
40:11- Michael, Michael, you know, don't give up.
40:13Michael, you've given up.
40:14Please don't give up.
40:15Remember what Churchill said,
40:16you know, he said up the Alamo!
40:17(audience laughs)
40:24I'm sorry, Trig, that your Aunt Reen
40:26had to pawn her necklace.
40:28Shall I give her a ring and explain?
40:30- Oh no, don't do that, Del.
40:34She doesn't know she's pawned it yet.
40:35(audience laughs)
40:46- So, how was it?
40:48- The hotel was horrible, the weather was lousy,
40:50the food was rotten, and the people were boring.
40:53- Oh, good.
40:55- And you were right, some of them did hold an orgy.
41:00- You're kidding?
41:00- No, honestly.
41:01I stayed for about an hour and then I got fed up.
41:11Oh no, I hate this sort of thing.
41:18(audience laughs)
41:20(Arnie groans)
41:25(speaking in foreign language)
41:32(siren blares)
41:37What's the matter, Rodney?
41:38You look like you've seen a ghost.
41:41- He done us in South-East London.
41:43Rodney saw him in South-West London.
41:46He's doing it all over town.
41:47- Yeah, you'd think he'd be taking things easy
41:49in his condition, wouldn't you?
41:50(audience laughs)
41:56- No Trig, there's nothing wrong with him.
41:57I mean, he's not a sick man, is he?
41:59I mean, he's a conman.
42:00- So you don't reckon he's really ill?
42:02(audience laughs)
42:04- That is what I suspect.
42:06- All right, lads, what's going?
42:08- Oh hiya, Denzil.
42:09- Wanna drink?
42:10- Er, no, I'm all right.
42:11- No, I'm all right.
42:12No mate, thanks very much.
42:12- Can I get you one?
42:13Can I join you?
42:14- No, it's a bit awkward at the moment, Denzil,
42:16you know, we are in conference.
42:18- What?
42:18- We're in conference.
42:19- I thought we was having a chat.
42:21(audience laughs)
42:22- Listen, Del, I haven't got long.
42:24I've got the truck outside.
42:25I'm off to Germany, we'll be bringing a load back.
42:27- Oh well, that's all right, then, Denzil.
42:29Go on, have a nice trip.
42:31- Are you ill or something?
42:32I've just said I'm going to Germany,
42:34and I will be bringing a load back,
42:36and you haven't even asked what it is.
42:37- Yes, I know, Denzil,
42:38but I'm a bit busy at the moment, you know.
42:39I'll talk to you later.
42:41- Well, see you do, I might have a deal for you.
42:43- Yeah, all right, mate, see you in a minute.
42:47- Boycie, eh?
42:48Got time for a chat?
42:49- Some other time, Denzil, some other time.
42:51- Right.
42:53Mike, can I--
42:54- See the barmaid, Denzil, I'm busy.
42:57-[Denzil] Rodney, how's it going?
42:58- Yeah, bit tied up at the moment, Denzil,
43:00talk to you later, all right.
43:04(audience laughs)
43:08- Rodney, why are people ignoring me?
43:10What have I done to them?
43:11- Nothing, nothing, it's just there's a bit
43:12of heavy stuff going down at the moment,
43:14you know what I mean.
43:16Oh by the way, Denzil, this is Cassandra, my uh--
43:19- Choose your words carefully, Rodney.
43:21- My friend.
43:23And Cassandra, this is Denzil.
43:24- Nice to meet you.
43:25- You too.
43:27- Right, well, I'll leave you two
43:28to have a little chat, then.
43:29See you later.
43:31(audience laughs)
43:33- Come on, hurry up, sit down.
43:34You, sit down.
43:35- I was under the impression
43:36that Arnie was a good family man.
43:37I mean, all he ever spoke of was his wife,
43:39Gary, and young Steven.
43:40- Yes, I know, and I'm under the impression
43:42that Gary and young Steven are about six foot tall,
43:45and they like to dress up as ambulance men.
43:47- What, you mean it's their ambulance?
43:49No, can't be, Del.
43:51Remember when Arnie come over bad in the restaurant?
43:53It was the staff that phoned for the ambulance.
43:55- Yeah, but it did off arrive quick though, didn't it?
43:58- Yeah, come to mention it, it was a bit lively.
44:01- Anyway, I phoned that restaurant this afternoon
44:03and the manager told me
44:04that 10 minutes after Arnie's ambulance arrived,
44:06another one turned up, the real one.
44:10- We reckon they do it with split-second timing, right.
44:12At one o'clock Arnie does his dying swan act.
44:15And at three minutes past one,
44:17his boys turn up in their ambulance,
44:19then it's off into the wild blue yonder.
44:21- No one's gonna question
44:22a couple of medical orderlies, are they?
44:24Carrying a sick man out of a restaurant?
44:26- And no one can follow the ambulance because--
44:29-[All] It goes through red lights!
44:31- And you can pick up these old ambulances
44:32for next to nothing anywhere.
44:34- I know, it's beautiful, isn't it?
44:35I mean beautiful.
44:37- So what's Mr. Stavros got to do with it all?
44:39(audience laughs)
44:42- Mr. Stavros don't exist, Trig, does he, eh?
44:45- Well, Arnie seemed to know him pretty well.
44:47(audience laughs)
44:48- No, he only did that,
44:49he invented him, didn't he?
44:51Just to get us on the,
44:52and the trick, you see, when he--
44:53- It still doesn't get me my money back.
44:55I'm sitting here still convalescing
44:57from open wallet surgery.
44:59(audience laughs)
45:00- Boycie, all right, all right, listen,
45:02at least we know that Arnie
45:03and the dough are still out there somewhere.
45:05It gives us half a chance.
45:06So listen to me, I have put the word about
45:08that I am looking for some gold chains, all right.
45:11- All right, I'm off you guys, I'll see you later.
45:12-[All] Yeah, see you, Denzil.
45:15- Nice talking to you, Cassandra.
45:16- You too, Denzil, safe trip.
45:18- I bring this meeting to a conclusion, gentlemen.
45:21All I can say is just keep your ears to the ground, right?
45:25Trig, that just means listen out,
45:26it doesn't mean get on your hands and knees.
45:28(audience laughs)
45:29Come on, Rodney, let's go over there.
45:30See you, chaps.
45:31-[Trig] See you Del.
45:35- Sorry to leave you talking to a total stranger.
45:37- Don't worry, Rodney.
45:38Even strangers can be fun,
45:40I found that out in Guernsey.
45:43- Look at his face, now look, look,
45:44he looks as though he's sucked on a lemon (laughs).
45:47Anyway, that Denzil's a nice bloke, though, ain't he?
45:49- He left a message.
45:50He heard that you were interested
45:51in buying some gold chains.
45:53- Oh, not more gold-plated Mickey Mouse gear, please.
45:57- Apparently on of his brothers, Carl, is it?
45:59- Yeah, the one who lives in Bethnal Green.
46:00- Apparently he's met some guy in a casino,
46:02a retired jeweler or something, who's got 200 and--
46:06- 50?
46:07- Yes, 250 gold chains for sale,
46:10and Denzil and his brothers are buying them.
46:13- Where is Denzil now?
46:14- He's just left.
46:15- Just left, Denzil, don't buy them!
46:18-[Rodney] No, you're gonna have to shout
46:19louder than that, Del.
46:20He's half way to Germany.
46:21- Denzil, nicht buying them!
46:24(audience laughs)
46:38- Can you see Dad?
46:39- Yeah, he's in position.
46:40About another four minutes.
46:42- Right, and this time you make the phone call.
46:45It's always me who has to pretend to be the hospital doctor.
46:48Did you know the deceased very well?
46:50- Okay, I'll do it.
47:01- I'm sorry, I'm not feeling well.
47:04Could you get me an ambulance?
47:13(Arnie groans)
47:25(siren blares)
47:32Wonderful (chuckles).
47:39(audience laughs)
47:42- What's wrong, Arnie?
47:43You don't look too well.
47:49-[Fake Paramedic] What's up?
47:50- Ambulance come, he gone!
47:59-[Denzil] Wotcha fellas.
48:02-[Fake Paramedic] What's happening?
48:04- Get in.
48:10- Now take it easy, fellas.
48:12I can explain everything.
48:13- We're not looking for explanations.
48:15It's all very clear.
48:17- But at least let's have a chat.
48:18- Funnily enough, there was one or 12,500 things
48:22we wanted to talk to you about.
48:25- Try this, Del Boy.
48:27- Thank you, doctor.
48:28(audience laughs)
48:30- You don't need that to cut the chain off.
48:32I've got the key.
48:34- Who said anything about cutting the chain off?
48:36(audience laughs)
48:40Calm down, Arnie, calm down.
48:43You'll give yourself a heart attack.
48:46(audience laughs)
48:48(audience cheers and applauds)
48:52♫ We've got some 1/2 priced cracked ice
48:54♫ And miles and miles of carpet tiles
48:55♫ TVs, deep freeze, and David Bowie LPs.
48:58♫ Pool games, gold chains, what's name
49:00♫ And at a push some Trevor Francis track suits.
49:03♫ From a mush in Shepherds Bush
49:04♫ Bush, bush, bush, bush, bush, bush, bush, bush
49:07♫ No income tax, no VAT
49:10♫ No money back, no guarantee
49:13♫ Black or white, rich or poor
49:16♫ We'll cut prices at a stroke
49:21♫ God bless Hooky Street
49:24♫ Viva Hooky Street
49:27♫ Long live Hooky Street
49:30♫ C'est magnifique, Hooky Street
49:33♫ Magnifique, Hooky Street
49:38♫ Hooky Street
49:41♫ Hooky Street
49:44♫ Hooky Street
49:47♫ Hooky Street